\.       *• 

43> 

*** 

. 

<*S 

MARRIAGE 


IN   THE 


UNITED  STATES, 


BY   AUGUSTE   CARLIER, 

lDTHOR  of   "l'esclavage  dans  ces  rapports  avec  L'UNION  AMERI- 

CAINE,"  AND  "HISTOIRE  DU  PEUPLE   AMERICAIX.      ETATS-UNIS 

ET  DE   SES   RAPPORTS   AVEC    LES    IXDIENS    DEPUIS    LA 

FONDATION        SES        COLONIES       AXGLAISES 

JUSQU'A  LA   REVOLUTION   DE  1770." 


TRANSLATED    FROM    THE    FRENCH    BY 


B.    JOY   JEFFRIES,    A.M.,    M.D., 

Fellow  of  the  Massachusetts  Medical  Society  ;    Member  of  the  American  Medical  Association ; 

Burgeon  to  tho  Massachusetts  Charitable  Eje  and  Ear  Infirmary  ; 

Physician  to  the  Boston  Dispensary. 


BOSTON : 
DE    VRIES,     IBARRA    &     CO 

Publishers,  145  Tremont  Street. 


NEW  YORK:    LEYPOLDT  AND  HOLT, 

451   Broome   Street, 

1867. 


TABLE  OF  CONTENTS. 


PAGK. 

Introduction xi 


CHAPTER    I. 

Marriage  in  France. 

I.  —  How  it  takes  place  . i 

II.  —  Civil  Capacity  and  Legal  Ceremony 3 

III.  —  Religious  Marriage  Ceremony 4 

IV.  —  Indissolubility  of  Marriage.  —  Separation  from  "bed 

and  board" 4 

V.  — Condition  of  the  Wife 7 

VI.  —  Position  in  Society • 9 

VII. —  Participation  in  Business 10 

VIII.  —  Marriage  considered  as  an  Element  of  Population  .  11 


CHAPTER    II. 
Marriage  in  England. 


I.  —  Preliminaries 


'3 


II.  —  Celebration  of  Marriage  in  England  .    .......  16 

III.  —  Gretna  Green 18 

IV.  —  Marriage  in  Scotland 19 

V.  —  Position  of  the  English  Wife 20 

VI.  —  The  Domestic  Hearth  turned  into  a  Boarding-house.  21 

VII.  —  Society  Life 23 

VIII.  — Civil  Rights  of  the  English  Woman 24 

IX. — The  English  Woman  considered  as  an  Heir  .   ...  25 
X.  —  Divorce,   and  Separation  from  Bed  and  Board,  in 

England 26 


M90349 


IV  TABLE  OF   CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER    III. 

Marriage  in  America. 


PAOK. 

I.  —  Preliminaries 31 

II.  —  Civil  Capacity  for  Marriage  Celebration 35 

III.  —  Eccentric  forms  of  Celebration 38 

IV.  —  Mock  Marriages 39 

V.  —  Forced  Marriages 40 

VI.  —  Marriages  in  the  West 44 

VII.  —  Misalliances 46 

VIII.  —  Forced  Marriages.  —  Elopements 48 

IX.  —  Aristocratic  Tendencies S1 

X.  —  The  Law  Favoring  Fraud .53 

XI.  —  Situation  of  the  American  Wife.  —  Revolt  against 

the  Laws  of  Marriage 56 

XII.  —  Protestation  against  the  Law  by  the  Pastor  who  per- 
forms the  Ceremony 62 

XIII.  —  Considerations    of   Inheritance.  —  The    Rights    of 

Women 64 

XIV.  —  The  Family  and  its  Deviations  in  the  North  .   ...  66 

XV.  — Domestic  Life  in  the  South 7° 

XVI.  —  Emigration  into  the  Interior.  —  Dispersion  of  Fam- 
ilies      71 

XVII.  —  Education  of  the  American  Family 73 

XVIII.  —  Reforms  in  the  Condition  of  the  American  Woman  .  76 

XIX.  — The  Female  Physician 78 

XX.  —  Women  as  Ministers  of  Religion 81 

XXL  —  The  Desirable  Role  for  the  American  Woman  .   .   .  84 

XXII.  —  Prohibition  of  Marriage  with  Colored  People    ...  87 
XXIII.  —  Marriage  of  Slaves  between  themselves  Prohibited 

by  Law • 89 

XXIV.  — Counterfeit  of  Marriage  with  Mulattresses 92 

XXV.  — Mormons 97 

XXVI.  —  Celibacy  Proclaimed  as  a  Principle  by  the  Shakers  .  98 

XXVI  I.  — Divorce 100 

XXVIII.  —  Numerous  Causes  for  Divorce 104 

XXIX.  — Decision  Left  to  Tribunals.  — Divorces  Decreed  by 

the  Legislature 106 

XXX.  —  English  and  American  Laws  of  Divorce  Compared  .  108 


TABLE   OF  CONTENTS.  V 

PAGE. 

XXXI.  —  Prohibition  of  Divorce.  —  Concubinage  Legalized 

in  South  Carolina 109 

XXXII.  —  Divorces  Numerous nt 

XXXIII.  —  Legitimation  by  a  Subsequent  Marriage  Prohibited.  117 

XXXIV.  —  Have  Democratic  Institutions  had  a  Marked  Effect 

on  the  Family.  —  What  is  Woman's  Influence  in 

American  Society 120 

XXXV.  —  Tendency  of  Morals  Fatally  Opposed  to  the  Purpose 

of  Marriage 151 

XXXVI.  — Model  Families 161 


APPENDIX. 

»      I.  —  On  the  Marriage  of  Ministers. — The  Ceremony  Per- 
formed by  Themselves 165 

II. — Upon  Manners  at  Watering  Places 166 

III. —  Increase  of  the  Number  of  Female  Ministers  of  Re- 
ligion       168 

IV.  —  Statistics  Concerning  the  Mormons 168 

V.  —  Sect  of  the  Shakers 170 

VI.  —  With  regard  to  the  Number  of  Divorces 176 

VII.  — Upon  the   Increase   of  Population  in   the   United 

States    .  . i78 


TRANSLATOR'S   PREFACE. 


Mr.  Carlier,  the  author  of  this  book,  travelled  some 
time  in  this  country,  observing  our  manners  and  customs, 
and  studying  our  institutions.  Familiar  with  our  lan- 
guage, and  recognizing  our  peculiarities  and  prejudices, 
he  was  enabled  to  see  a  great  deal  of  our  life  not  gener- 
ally or  readily  got  at  by  foreigners.  He  has  made  himself 
master  of  our  political,  religious,  and  social  history,  as  is 
proved  by  the  books  he  has  since  written,  namely,  "  Slav- 
ery in  its  Relations  to  the  American  Union,"  and  "  History 
of  the  American  People  :  the  United  States  and  their 
Relations  with  the  Indians,  from  the  Foundation  of  the 
English  Colonies  up  to  the  Revolution  of  1776."  He  is 
now  engaged  in  the  preparation  of  a  work  on  the  institu- 
tions of  the  United  States. 

To  us,  New  Englanders  especially,  that  man  must  seem 
rather  bold  who  dares  attack  De  Tocqueville's  statements 
and  deductions  in  his  "Democracy  in  America."  Yet,  if 
one  will  read  carefully  and  weigh  without  prejudice  what 
Mr.  Carlier  has  written  simply  on  the  point  of  marriage 
alone,  he  must  needs  admit  that  De  Tocqueville's  views 
can  only  be  reconciled  with  the  truth,  if  it  is  granted  that 
what  he  says  of  our  country  shall  be  considered  as  apply- 
ing, in  great  part  or  alone,  to  New  England.  De  Tocque- 
ville  said,  "  There  is  certainly  no  country  in  the  world 
where  the  tie  of  marriage  is  so  much  respected  as  in 


viii  translator's  preface. 

America,  or  where  conjugal  happiness  is  more  highly  or 
worthily  appreciated.  In  Europe,  almost  all  the  disturb- 
ances of  society  arise  from  the  irregularities  of  domestic 
life." 

At  present,  this  seems  hardly  true,  even  of  New  Eng- 
land. We  must  admit,  therefore,  the  force  of  Mr.  Carlier's. 
reasoning,  however  unpleasant  it  may  prove  to  oui 
national  pride.  Objection  may  be  made,  that  the  author's 
statements  are  based  upon  newspaper  authority.  But 
the  journals  give  official  reports  and  statistics,  and  these, 
of  course,  correctly,  whilst  editorial  remarks  and  criti- 
cism show  how  the  popular  wind  is  blowing.  News- 
papers, "although  they  apparently  form,  yet  really  simply 
represent  public  opinion.  If  any  one  doubts  Mr.  Carlier's 
deductions  in  reference  to  divorce,  etc.,  they  need  only 
do  as  I  have  done, — namely,  cull  from  the  various  papers 
the  official  reports  of  the  courts  of  law  on  these  points, — 
and  they  will  probably  find,  as  I  did,  that  the  task  was  too 
unpleasant  to  be  pursued. 

Certainly  the  last  six  or  seven  years  have  not  much 
remedied  the  defects  and  omissions  in  the  laws  on  mar- 
riage and  divorce.  In  some  of  the  Western  States,  the 
laws  of  divorce  render  marriage  temporary  concubinage ; 
and,  in  some  of  the  Eastern  States,  greater  privileges  in 
regard  to  holding  property  are  granted  the  married  wo- 
man, to  enable  the  husband  to  set  aside  in  her  name  what 
really  belongs  to  his  creditors. 

Except  in  one  or  two  instances,  I  have  refrained  from 
comment  upon  Mr.  Carlier's  deductions,  and  not  thought 
it  necessary  to  correct  inaccuracies  arising  from  changes 
in  our  political  condition  caused  by  the  rebellion.  It  is 
to  be  remembered  that  the  author  wrote  his  remarks  on 
the  relations  of  the  white  to  the  colored  race  seven  years 
ago. 


translator's  preface.  ix 

Although  some  time  has  elapsed  since 'this  book  was 
published,  there  will  be  found  a  certain  freshness  in  it,  to 
be  accounted  for,  I  think,  by  the  fact,  that,  as  a  mental 
reaction  after  our  civil  war,  earnest  spirits  and  active  minds 
are  again  turning  their  thoughts  towards  the  social  ques- 
tions beginning  to  be  discussed  previous  to  the  rebellion. 
We  can  hardly  take  up  a  newspaper  or  journal,  published 
during  the  last  few  months,  without  finding  some  para- 
graph touching  upon  these  topics.  Certainly,  marriage 
and  the  social  and  legal  relations  of  the  sexes  demand 
the  best  brains  and  the  truest  enthusiasm  of  reformers, 
tempered  by  the  conservatism  of  New  England,  and  en- 
lightened by  the  truths  of  modern  science.  May  not  a 
hope  be  expressed,  that  these  great  questions  will  not  be 
taken  up  and  discussed  for  the  purpose  of  small  personal 
notoriety,  or  as  a  field  for  oratorical  display,  — much  as, 
Mr.  Carlier  says,  was  the  fate  of  that  paramount  question, 
the  abolition  of  slavery  ? 

But  why,  some  friend  will  ask,  put  before  people  in  bad 
English  what  was  written  in  good  French  ?  I  reply,  Those 
familiar  with  French  would  never,  perhaps,  take  the  trou- 
ble to  read  the  original,  and  may,  like  those  unfamiliar 
with  the  language,  be  somewhat  attracted  by  the  idiom 
and  crudeness  of  a  translation.  No  one,  I  believe,  can 
read  this  book  and  ponder  its  contents,  without  a  feeling 
of  concern  for  our  present  and  foreboding  for  our  future 
social  relations.  Let  us,  at  any  rate,  remember  that 
"  opposition  should  excite  attention  and  not  anger." 
B.  JOY  JEFFRIES,  M.D., 

March  i,  1867.  15  Chestnut  St.,  Boston. 


TRANSLATOR'S   PREFACE. 


I  append  an  extract  from  a  letter  of  the  author. 

Paris,  Dec.  12,  1866. 

Cher  Monsieur,  —  Je  ne  vois  rien  pour  le  moment 
a  ajouter  a  mon  livre  le  Mariage  atex  Etats-  Unis,  done 
vows  avez  fait  la  traduition.  La  publication  presque  im- 
mediate rendait  efifectivement  mon  concours  impossible, 
mais  je  vois  avec  plaisir  que  vous  avez  pu  vous  en  passer, 
et  qu'  ainsi  je  ne  serai  cause  d'aucun  retard. 

Je  desire  apprendre  que  votre  travail  obtient  tout  le 
succes  qu'il  merite,  surtout  a  raison  de  l'idee-mere  qui  a 
determine  votre  publication.  C'est  ainsi  que  par  les 
efforts  combines  des  gens  de  cceur  des  deux  cotes  de 
l'Atlantique,  on  peut  esperer  venir  en  aide  a  la  morale 
publique  et  aux  reformes  urgentes  que  reclame  l'etat  de  la 
societe,  maladif  partout,  mais  non  incurable,  du  moins 
il  faut  l'esperer. 

Je  vous  autorise  a  publier  ce  qui  precede,  si  cela  vous 
parait  utile.  Recevez,  cher  monsieur,  avec  tous  mes 
remerciements,  l'assurance  de  mes  sentiments  empresses. 

A.  CARLIER, 

6,  Rue  de  Milan. 


INTRODUCTION. 


Of  modern  nations,  the  North  Americans  are  perhaps 
the  people  most  fortunately  circumstanced  and  favorably 
situated  to  influence  the  future  of  the  world.  In  whatever 
point  of  view  we  regard  America,  there  is  a  vast  and  ever- 
increasing  field  of  study  for  the  philosopher,  the  historian, 
and  the  economist.  We  cannot  look  with  indifference 
upon  the  progress  of  a  nation  whose  population  less  than 
a  century  ago  did  not  exceed  three  millions,  and  which 
will  reach  eighty  millions  at  the  close  of  this.  An  asylum 
precious  to  all  unfortunates,  a  vast  arena  for  every  ambi- 
tion, placed  midway  between  Europe  and  Asia,  this 
country  is  called  to  incalculable  destinies,  —  all  the  more 
important,  as  under  their  guidance  everything  marches 
onward  with  lightning-like  rapidity.  The  American  peo- 
ple believe  in  a  divine  mission  :  the  future  will  tell  how 
they  fulfil  it. 

Till  now,  politics,  political  economy,  philosophy,  and 
literature  are  the  only  aspects  of  American  life  which 
European,  or  I  should  rather  say  French,  writers  have 
more  closely  examined  ;  for  nothing  among  our  neighbors 
approaches  the  works  of  MM.  de  Tocqueville,  Michael 
Chevalier,  and  other  talented  authors,  too  numerous  to 
mention.  This  sphere  of  human  activity  presents  such 
extensive  views,  such  momentous  problems,  that  the  mind 
takes  delight  in  them,  where  it  may  roam  without  restraint. 
And  yet  these  subjects  of  investigation  are  for  the  United 


XJ1  INTRODUCTION. 

States  almost  wholly  modern.  They  do  not  extend  farther 
back  than  the  Confederation,  which  gave  such  a  strong 
nationality  to  the  English  colonies,  till  then  isolated  from 
each  other  and  having  nothing  in  common  but  the  yoke 
which  they  shook  off. 

Two  fundamental  institutions,  however,  have  not  seemed 
to  attract  the  same  amount  of  attention,  and  yet  their 
study  is  susceptible  of  an  equal  degree  of  development 
with  the  other  subjects  already  investigated,  and  which, 
being  the  basis  of  all  society,  have  as  great,  if  not  a  supe- 
rior, claim  upon  the  meditation  of  the  moralist,  —  I  mean 
religion  and  the  family.  Treated  at  length,  these  subjects 
would  lead  to  very  extended  investigation  ;  but,  if  the  ex- 
amination does  not  touch  somewhat  upon  practical  life, 
the  reader  might  remain  unacquainted  with  important 
facts,  the  hidden  springs  of  a  great  ensemble.  These 
facts  are,  moreover,  of  great  value  in  showing  the  precise 
point  on  this  path  which  the  Americans  have  reached 
since  the  foundation  of  the  colonies.  Nothing  exhibits 
more  clearly  the  irregularities  of  public  morals  while  con- 
nected with  events  which  hurry  on,  rather  than  succeed, 
each  other  in  this  country,  and  against  which  it  has 
opposed  but  a  frail  barrier. 

There  is  an  important  circumstance  here  which  gives 
peculiar  interest  to  this  investigation,  —  namely,  the  ele- 
ments which  formed  the  first  nucleus  of  the  colonies.  It 
will  be  remembered,  that  their  origin  and  growth  resulted 
from  the  persecutions  following  the  religious  wars  which 
harassed  Europe  in  the  seventeenth  and  eighteenth  cen- 
turies. The  victims  of  these  persecutions,  of  whatever 
sect,  even  the  Catholics,  sought  in  this  land,  then  unknown 
to  civilization,  a  refuge  for  their  ardent  faith.  The  popu- 
lation therefore  at  the  commencement,  and  even  after- 
wards, was  mostly  composed  of  men  of  religious  charac- 


INTRODUCTION.  Xlll 

ter,  strongly  imbued  with  the  ideas  of  right  and  duty,  — 
with  them  inseparable  constituents  of  every  healthy  social 
organization. 

Religion  was  so  peculiarly  mingled  with  all  the  circum- 
stances of  civil  life,  that  many  matters  of  legislation  spe- 
cially referred  to  the  Bible,  which  became,  so  to  speak,  the 
corpus  juris  of  the  New  England  immigrants.  Wherever 
religious  sentiment  had  been  cultivated,  the  family  circle 
was  strong,  because  it  was  united,  and  the  father,  who 
resembled  somewhat  the  patriarch  of  old,  possessed  an 
authority,  not  only  undisputed,  but  even  revered  ;  for  it 
was  composed  of  benevolence  and  justice,  two  attributes 
which  the  mind  is  always  pleased  to  reverence.  Marriage 
formed  the  family.  It  was  a  sacred  union  in  which  the 
whole  community  was  interested,  and  from  this  relation 
became  an  institution  of  the  highest  character.  It  was 
contracted  under  the  eyes  and  with  the  approbation  of  the 
head  of  the  family,  and  consecrated  by  the  pastor  in 
accordance  with  the  imperative  prescriptions  of  the  law, 
but  always  in  obedience  to  a  recognition  of  religious  duty. 
Nothing  but  their  own  happiness  influenced  the  choice  of 
the  espoused,  and  the  union  was  perpetual,  to  be  severed 
only  by  death. 

In  England,  the  country  which  furnished  the  first  and 
larger  proportion  of  colonists,  marriage  had  always  been 
greatly  respected.  It  was  considered  an  abundant  source 
of  wealth  and  population,  the  centre  of  all  the  affections, 
and  a  most  excellent  school  for  morals  and  the  appren- 
ticeship of  life.  Hence,  we  need  not  wonder  at  seeing 
in  the  primitive  laws  of  the  New  England  colonies,  where 
the  religious  sentiment  was  so  intimately  associated  with 
the  idea  of  family,  the  most  severe  penalties  pronounced 
against  violations  of  conjugal  life.  In  the  eyes  of  these 
pious  men,  the  family  was  the  great  pillar  of  society,  —  if 


Xiv  INTRODUCTION. 

one  became  enfeebled,  the  weakness  of  the  other  fol- 
lowed ;  but,  if  the  family  was  firmly  based,  then  the  com- 
munity would  flourish  and  be  prosperous. 

It  is  true,  that  every  epoch  has  its  peculiar  features, 
and  that  the  great  development  of  centres  of  civilization 
has  necessities  not  compatible  with  much  austerity.  Yet 
may  we  not  admit  less  severity  of  life  according  to  the 
age,  and  at  the  same  time  hold  fast  those  things  which 
are  essential  to  the  family,  —  namely,  absolute  guaranties 
preceding  and  accompanying  the  conjugal  tie,  respect  for 
parental  authority,  and  the  domestic  hearth  always  lighted 
up  and  vivified  by  the  intimate  reunion  of  the  members 
who  compose  it  ? 

The  true  way  to  appreciate  the  change  which  religion, 
marriage,  and  the  family  have  undergone  in  the  United 
States  is  to  compare  their  actual  condition  with  the  sketch 
which  I  have  given  of  their  former  state.  In  the  investi- 
gation which  follows,  I  shall  be  obliged  to  forbear  the 
question  of  religion,  as  it  alone  would  require  a  special 
and  extended  examination.  I  shall  limit  myself  to  inquir- 
ing what  marriage  is  at  the  present  day  ;  whether  society 
has  surrounded  it  with  those  guardian  precautions  which 
are  requisite  to  insure  its  durability,  or  whether  the  per- 
sonal independence  resulting  from  democratic  institutions 
has  not  acted  unfavorably  upon  it.  I  shall  speak  of  the 
home  or  fireside  as  it  now  is,  and  explain  how  the  family 
organization  has  altered.  I  shall  show  that  the  conside- 
ration of  race  has  exercised  a  deplorable  influence,  by 
the  prevention  of  certain  unions,  and  by  its  pernicious 
influence  upon  private  morals.  Divorce  will  be  seen 
to  have  an  important  place  in  this  examination,  and  will 
be  found  to  be  of  no  small  importance  in  affecting  the 
condition  of  marriage.  And  I  shall  finally  show,  that 
what  the  ancients  considered  the  principal   purpose  of 


INTRODUCTION.  XV 

marriage  is  seriously  perverted,  and  how  necessary  it  is  to 
re-establish  to  its  proper  position  so  important  an  institu- 
tion, on  which,  unfortunately,  the  same  degree  of  respect 
is  not  now  bestowed  as  formerly. 

Since  the  Americans  and  English  are  of  the  same  race, 
I  shall  precede  this  investigation  by  some  remarks  upon 
marriage  as  it  exists  in  England.  The  first  colonists  car- 
ried the  English  form  of  marriage  to  America.  It  has, 
however,  been  since  modified  on  both  sides  of  the  Atlantic. 
It  remains,  therefore,  to  ascertain  which  of  these  two  peo- 
ples has  been  more  successful  in  its  reforms. 

I  shall  sketch,  also,  marriage  as  it  is  in  France,  in  order 
to  better  show,  by  a  comparative  examination,  what  this 
institution  is  in  the  United  States.  This  investigation, 
wholly  an  analysis,  is  perhaps  of  itself  somewhat  unprofit- 
able, and  only  redeemed  by  the  interest  which  the  reader 
will  find  in  becoming  acquainted  with  facts,  generally,  I 
believe,  unknown  in  Europe. 


CHAPTER    I. 

MARRIAGE  IN  FRANCE. 

I. 

How  it  takes  place. 

I  COMMENCE  with  marriage  in  France. 

With  us,  the  paternal  authority  has  remained 
tenderly  patriarchal.  The  mother  watches  with 
constant  vigilance  over  the  development  of  her 
daughter's  character  and  feelings.  Never  leav- 
ing her,  she  becomes  her  natural  companion. 
All  the  treasures  of  her  affection  are  constantly 
lavished  upon  her,  as  though  it  was  her  duty  to 
remove  every  thorn  that  might  spring  up  in  the 
path  of  her  child.  Perhaps  this  kind  of  protec- 
tion lasts  too  long,  like  the  leaf  which  is  des- 
tined to  guard  the  gradual  development  of  the 
fruit,  whose  too  protracted  shade  but  retards  its 
ripening.  It  may  be  said  that  the  mother  recog- 
nizes this  condition,  and  the  responsibility  result- 


2  MARRIAGE    IN   FRANCE. 

:bg. 'fro hi  it,  as  she  rather  hastens  the  marriage 
for  which  her  daughter  is  scarcely  yet  prepared. 
It  is  true  that,  without  pressing  her  feelings  upon 
her,  she  is  her  guide ;  yet  it  must  be  confessed 
that,  being  always  spared  anything  that  might 
trouble  her  life,  the  young  girl  cannot  acquire 
that  habit  of  perception  and  appreciation  which 
constitutes  true  responsibility,  so  that  her  deci- 
sion becomes  less  a  matter  of  choice  than  of 
acceptance. 

This  early  marriage,  and  absence  of  sponta- 
neousness  on  the  part  of  one  who  is  engaging 
her  future  forever,  are  strongly  criticised,  both 
by  the  Americans  and  the  English,  who  cannot 
see  in  it  any  assured  guaranty  of  happiness. 
Be  that  as  it  may,  in  such  a  marriage  the  young 
girl  very  often  consents,  less  from  natural  attrac- 
tion than  considerations  of  position,  which  cause 
the  first  defloration  of  her  heart.  It  is  here 
that  the  law  intervenes. 

Although  well  known  to  every  one  in  France, 
I  will  here  give  the  substance  of  it,  in  order  to 
contrast  its  foresight  with  the  indifference  of  the 
American  law. 


MARRIAGE    IX   FRANCE.  3 

II. 

Civil  Capacity  and  Legal  Ceremony. 

The  minimum  age  required  by  French  law  is 
eighteen  years  for  the  husband,  and  fifteen  for 
the  wife.  There  is  also  required  the  consent  of 
the  betrothed,  that  of  the  parents  of  both  par- 
ties, or,  if  there  are  none,  that  of  the  grandfa- 
thers or  grandmothers ;  and  even  the  assent  of 
the  counsel  of  the  nearest  relation,  where  there 
are  no  ascendants.  In  case  of  refusal,  the  cere- 
mony cannot  take  place  unless  the  man  is 
twenty-five  years  old  and  the  woman  twenty-one, 
and  the  one  to  whom  consent  has  been  refused 
must  seek  assent  by  judicial  procedure.  The 
marriage  must  be  preceded  by  a  publication  of 
the  banns,  registered  at  the  offices  of  the  compe- 
tent maires ;  and  is  not  valid  unless  performed 
by  one  of  these  maires,  at  his  office,  in  the  pres- 
ence of  four  witnesses.  The  act  must  be  signed 
by  the  parties,  the  witnesses,  and  the  maire.  It 
is,  moreover,  recorded  in  two  special  registers, 
one  of  which  is  deposited  in  the  archives.  Such 
is  the  substance  of  the  law  which  sanctions  and 
governs  marriage  in  France. 


4  MARRIAGE    IN    FRANCE. 

III. 

Religious  Marriage  Ceremony. 

Independent  of  this  legal  marriage,  which  is 
accompanied  with  no  external  solemnity,  Catho- 
lics and  Protestants,  guided  by  spiritual  impulse, 
have  called  upon  religion  for  its  special  benedic- 
tion. Among  Catholics,  with  whom  marriage  is 
a  sacrament,  no  one  will  deny  that  the  ceremo- 
nies of  the  church  impress  upon  this  important 
act  of  life  such  a  character  of  solemnity  as  to 
often  leave  deep  and  lasting  impressions. 

IV. 

Indissolubility  of  Marriage.  —  Separation  from  "  bed  and  board." 

The  law,  in  accordance  with  Catholic  doctrine, 
declares  marriage  to  be  indissoluble.  The  only 
way  open  to  the  married,  when  living  together 
has  become  impossible,  in  cases  determined  by 
law,  is  the  "separation  from  bed  and  board." 
But  Americans  and  English  consider  that  this 
separation  punishes  the  innocent  more  than  the 
guilty,  and  admits  the  danger  of  children  with 


MARRIAGE   IN    FRANCE.  0 

doubtful,  if  not  criminal,  paternity,  —  a  paternity 
very  often  disputed,  and  one  which  an  injured 
husband  cannot  always  prevent  or  disclaim. 

No  doubt  this  separation  is  not  free  from 
some  of  the  defects  with  which  it  has  been 
charged,  and  which  it  would  perhaps  be  easy  to 
remedy.  It  has,  however,  advantages  not  to  be 
overlooked  ;  the  proof  being  the  part  which  it 
plays  in  the  bill  of  reform  passed  in  England  in 
1857,  as  we  shall  hereafter  see.  Opinion, 
therefore,  in  America,  is  certainly  wrong  in 
rejecting  this  expedient,  which  in  certain  cases 
may  very  properly  supply  the  place  of  divorce, 
so  common  in  that  country. 

Nevertheless  the  number  of  separations  de 
corps,  as  that  of  divorces,  is  a  sort  of  test  of 
the  selection  which  presides  over  marriages,  and 
of  the  greater  or  less  harmony  existing  among 
married  people.  In  this  relation  we  regret  to 
say,  that,  in  France,  the  separations  from  "  bed 
and  board  "  multiply  in  a  ratio  by  no  means  in 
accordance  with  the  gradual  increase  of  popula- 
tion. The  Minister  of  Justice,  in  his  last  Report 
of  the  "  Administration  of  Civil  Justice "  in 
France  for  the  year  1858,*  declares  that  the 
number   of    petitions    for    separation   de  corps, 

*  Moniteur,  17  Avril,  i860. 


6  MARRIAGE    IN   FRANCE. 

which  was  not  more  than  one  thousand  to  eleven 
hundred  a  year  between  185 1  and  1855,  rose  in 
1857  to  seventeen  hundred  and  twenty-seven, 
and  in  1858  to  nineteen  hundred  and  seventy- 
seven. 

If  we  look  for  the  cause  of  such  applications, 
we  shall  find  that,  of  these  nineteen  hundred 
and  seventy-seven,  eighteen  hundred  and  twenty- 
seven  originated  from  ill-treatment  or  serious 
injury,  and  only  two  hundred  and  twenty-three 
on  account  of  adultery ;  which  would  seem  to 
show  that  the  majority  of  the  petitions  came 
from  the  lower  classes,  and,  moreover,  that  con- 
jugal fidelity  is  better  observed  than  certain 
detractors  allow. 

An  important  point  arising  from  this  investi- 
gation is,  that  of  this  large  number  of  petitions, 
seventeen  hundred  and  seventy-seven  are  made 
by  wives,  and  two  hundred  only  at  the  suit  of 
husbands. 

Moreover,  the  Report  states  that  the  tribunals 
granted  only  fourteen  hundred  and  ninety-two, 
and  rejected  two  hundred  and  twelve,  leaving 
two  hundred  and  seventy-two  which  were  either 
withdrawn  or  abandoned. 

We  would  not  from  this  infer,  that  the  misfor- 
tunes of  marriage  are  to  be  found  within  the 
limits   of  statistics.     Not   at   all.     It  must  be 


MARRIAGE   IN   FRANCE.  7 

remembered  that  there  are  in  addition,  in 
France  as  elsewhere,  outside  of  this  class, 
those  who  separate  by  mutual  consent  to  avoid 
the  publicity  of  the  court ;  and  those  who  with 
deep  regret  assume  the  appearance  of  a  sup- 
portable position,  withdrawn  from  all  observers, 
preferring  the  protection  of  the  domestic  hearth 
to  an  amicable  separation,  for  the  sake  of  the 
growing  family  in  whose  interest  this  great  sacri- 
fice is  made.  These  occurrences,  however, 
being  common  to  all  countries,  we  would  con- 
fine ourselves  to  the  official  returns,  which  will 
serve  to  compare  analogous  conditions  in  the 
United  States. 

Let  us  see  what  is  the  position  given  the  wife 
by  law  and  by  custom. 


V. 


Condition  of  the  Wife. 

The  wife  is  in  every  respect  the  equal  of  her 
husband  ;  he  is  in  no  way  superior  to  her,  except 
in  their  civil  relation,  in  carrying  on  their  com- 
mon interests  :  the  wife,  however,  is  not  ignored 
by  this,  for  her  consent  is  indispensable,  and  she 
has  a  right  to  be  consulted,  in  certain  cases,  with 


8  MARRIAGE    IN   FRANCE. 

the  power  of  absolute  veto.  She  retains  the 
ownership  of  her  whole  fortune,  there  being 
some  reservation  as  regards  personal  property. 

The  profits  accruing  from  the  industry  of  the 
husband  and  wife,  and  their  savings,  belong  to 
them  in  common,  the  latter  owning  one-half. 
The  law  has  such  confidence  in  her,  that,  when 
she  becomes  a  widow,  the  right  of  guardianship 
of  the  children  is  vested  in  her,  —  a  situation 
greatly  superior  to  that  of  the  English  or  even 
the  American  wife. 

She  has  the  largest  share  in  the  education  of 
the  children.  In  constant  intercourse  with  them, 
shielding  them  with  the  utmost  solicitude,  the 
better  to  gain  their  confidence,  she  guides  them 
without  her  hand  being  seen.  And,  if  any  grief 
or  any  chagrin  saddens  their  young  life,  it  is  in 
her  bosom  that  they  come  to  pour  out  their 
sorrows,  and  receive  most  soothing  sympathy. 
In  all  these  relations,  the  heart  plays  a  great 
part,  even  when  the  husband  participates.  Per- 
haps this  sort  of  education  leaves  something  to 
be  desired  for  the  better  tempering  of  the  child's 
disposition.  As  to  the  husband,  his  role  com- 
mences later,  when  labor  and  trials  in  common 
finally  bring  him  in  closer  relation  with  his  son. 

If  we  look  at  the  wife  herself,  in  relation  to 
her  brothers  and  sisters,  we  shall  find  that  the 


MARRIAGE    IN   FRANCE.  9 

most  perfect  equality  governs  their  right  of  in- 
heritance from  father  or  mother  •  and,  if  these 
latter  desire  to  disregard  this  equality,  or  favor 
a  third  party  to  the  prejudice  of  their  children, 
the  law  fixes  the  limits  of  this  power  of  disposal. 
It  is  a  protection  afforded  to  all  without  distinc- 
tion. 

VI. 

Position  in  Society. 

With  our  French  habits,  the  wife  is  the  natu- 
ral centre,  not  only  around  whom  the  family  is 
grouped,  but  also  as  an  object  of  attraction  for 
society.  In  all  the  epochs  of  our  history,  she 
has  greatly  contributed  to  the  refinement  of 
manners.  In  the  seventeenth  and  eighteenth 
centuries,  and  during  our  times,  have  there  not 
been  seen  many  women  gathering  around  them 
all  the  wits  d'elite,  all  the  men  of  any  mark, 
whom  they  possessed  the  secret  of  drawing 
together  by  that  irresistible  power  which  we 
yield  to  without  feeling,  the  success  of  which  is 
so  often  but  dependent  upon  a  happy  word 
kindly  said,  always  meeting  some  weakness  of 
our  nature,  of  which  they  have  such  wonderful 
perception  ? 


10  MARRIAGE   IN   FRANCE. 

VII. 

Participation  in  Business. 

But  the  prerogatives  of  the  French  married 
woman  do  not  exist  alone  in  the  family  and 
society.  She  can  engage  in  the  same  spheres  of 
activity  as  her  husband,  —  the  career  of  busi- 
ness, of  commerce,  or  of  industry  is  open  to 
her :  and  she  has  shown  the  same  aptitude  in 
each  as  he.  This  is  very  different  from  the 
condition  of  woman  among  the  Romans,  for, 
married  or  not,  she  was  condemned  to  a  per- 
petual guardianship,  caused  by  her  frivolity  of 
character.  The  "English,  like  the  Americans, 
seem  to  have  taken  the  Romans  as  models  on 
this  point.  I  do  not  think  that  such  freedom 
is  granted  the  married  woman  in  any  country  as 
in  France.  And  the  Americans  might  well 
imitate  us ;  for,  democratic  people  as  they  are, 
they  lavish  a  thousand  marks  of  deference  upon 
woman,  and  yet  hold  her  in  complete  guardian- 
ship. 


MARRIAGE    IN   FRANCE.  11 

VIII. 

Marriage  Considered  as  an  Element  of  Population. 

The  principal,  and  that  which  should  be  the 
sole,  agent  in  the  increase  of  population  is  mar- 
riage. Hence,  aside  from  individual  interests, 
all  nations  have  honored,  sustained,  and  encour- 
aged it  in  every  way.  The  celibate  who  checks 
its  progress  has  always  been  regarded  with  an 
evil  eye,  except,  perhaps,  since  the  appearance 
of  Christianity,  in  accordance  with  which  he  has 
shown  his  reason  for  so  remaining. 

Marriage  is  an  element  of  wealth  for  a  country, 
from  the  family  of  which  it  is  the  source.  And 
if  that  was  considered  the  only  sign  of  pros- 
perity, then  France  would  be  much  behind  Eng- 
land, and  far  in  the  rear  of  the  United  States. 
The  last  two  censuses*  have  shown  that  the 
increase  of  population  in  France  for  the  pre- 
ceding ten  years  has  been  very  slow,  and  less 
than  we  should  have  the  right  to  expect  in  a 
country  in  perfect  peace,  where  emigration  is 
but  slight.  Should  this  result  be  attributed  to  a 
great  increase  of  celibacy,  or  a  transference  of 

*  Moniteur,  Dec.   31,    1S56;  and  Journal  des   Economists,   Feb- 
ruary, 1S57,  p.  225. 


12  MARRIAGE   IN   FRANCE. 

the  habits  of  celibacy  to  marriage  ?    Both  causes 
may  unite  to  produce  it. 

This  result  is  a  subject  of  regret,  even  alarm, 
to  the  economists.  Some  of  them,  in  the 
tumult  of  their  apprehensions,  would  almost 
see  revived  the  law  of  Pappia  Poppea,  which 
made  an  era  in  the  reign  of  Augustus  and 
Roman  legislation,  and  which,  at  the  same  time 
that  it  punished  the  celibate,  encouraged  fecun- 
dity in  a  thousand  ways.  Others,  less  radical, 
would  only  re-establish  the  edict  of  1666,  by 
which  Louis  IV.  granted  certain  pensions  to 
parents  of  ten  children,  with  an  increase  for 
those  who  had  twelve  or  more.  But  these  ideas 
have  had  their  day.  They  testify  to  the  blind 
despotism  that  believes  possible  what  it  wishes. 
As  an  ecclesiastical  historian  *  has  said,  "  as  if 
the  multiplication  of  the  human  species  could 
be  affected  by  our  interference,  when  we  see 
that  the  number  increases  and  decreases  in 
accordance  with  the  will  of  Providence."  Every 
nation  that  has  attempted  to  regulate  this  sub- 
ject has  soon  found  the  futility  of  its  interfer- 
ence ;  and  we  must  remember  that  the  only 
thing  requisite  is  to  improve  morality,  and  ren- 
der life  more  simple,  in  order  to  restore  to  mar- 
riage all  its  charms  and  its  natural  fruitfulness. 

*  Sozcmene,  liv.  i.  chap.  ix. 


CHAPTER    II. 

MARRIAGE  IN  ENGLAND. 


Preliminaries. 

In  England  we  have  an  anticipation  of  the 
practice  of  marriage  in  the  United  States,  as 
respects  the  great  freedom  left  to  young  girls  in 
exercising  their  choice.  There  are,  neverthe- 
less, very  marked  differences.  One  of  the  promi- 
nent features  in  England  is  the  paternal- author- 
ity, which  governs  the  acts  of  the  family,  and  is 
an  object  of  respect  for  all.  A  single  word 
shows  this.  When  a  son  addresses  his  father, 
he  does  not  say  "  father,"  but  "  sir."  To  take 
this  literally  would,  however,  be  attaching  too 
great  importance  to  it;  for  filial  affection  may 
be  readily  reconciled  with  paternal  authority. 
Our  old-fashioned  French  manners  would  bear 
witness   to   this.     It   is,  however,  an   affection 


14  MAREIAGE    IN   ENGLAND. 

restrained,  and  its  exhibition  moderated  by 
respect.  On  the  other  hand,  both  parents  in 
return  for  this  deference,  allow  their  children 
great  freedom  in  all  that  concerns  marriage.  A 
young  English  girl  may  make  her  choice,  with- 
out being  either  guided  or  restrained  ;  she  gen- 
erally, however,  does  it  under  the  eyes  of  her 
mother,  who,  except  under  peculiar  and  grave 
circumstances,  allows  the  attachment  of  her 
daughter  to  arise  and  grow  up  for  the  person 
she  desires  to  marry. 

In  a  country  like  this,  a  great  centre  of  com- 
merce, industry,  and  business  of  all  kinds, 
where  any  one  may,  by  his  perseverance,  intelli- 
gence, and  activity,  attain  a  certain  degree  of 
fortune,  the  dowry  of  the  young  lady  is  less  a 
matter  of  importance  than  her  personal  quali- 
ties and  the  position  of  her  family.  It  is  differ- 
ent in  France,  where  a  large  number  of  men,  in 
civil  or  military  office,  having  fixed  and  very 
moderate  salaries,  are  so  placed  as  to  be  obliged 
to  yield  to  pecuniary  considerations.  It  must, 
moreover,  be  remembered  that  of  later  years  the 
old-fashioned  disinterestedness  in  the  business 
of  marriage  has  gradually  been  changing  in 
England,  as  elsewhere.  It  is  the  re-actionary 
tendency  of  the  century  felt  everywhere. 

However  this  may  be,  the  young  English  girl 


MARRIAGE    IN   ENGLAND.  15 

is,  so  far  as  her  parents  are  concerned,  quite 
free  from  any  restraint  upon  her  choice.  More- 
over, marriage  is  not  so  premature  as  in  France  ; 
time  is  given  for  the  judgment  to  be  formed  and 
matured.  Reason  subdues  the  impulses  so  nat- 
ural at  this  age  and  under  such  circumstances. 

Yet  one  thing  serves  sometimes  to  mislead 
these  young  hearts.  English  life  is  wholly 
domestic,  and  contact  with  the  world  is  often 
quite  limited.  Moreover,  the  immense  posses- 
sions of  England  in  every  latitude,  and  her  great 
marine  interests,  take  from  the  domestic  circle 
a  considerable  number  of  men  who  are  still 
young ;  whence  results  a  large  disproportion 
between  the  sexes.  The  circle  from  which 
young  girls  can  make  their  choice  is  very  lim- 
ited, and  they  often  may  not  find  there  the  man 
with  whom  they  would  unite  their  destiny.  In 
the  hope  of  better  opportunity,  many  English 
families  frequent  the  sea-side  watering-places 
and  Baths,  or  journey  about ;  and  thus  in  this 
atmosphere,  not  always  the  most  pure,  a  certain 
number  of  marriages  take  their  origin.  Here, 
in  this  artificial  life,  marriage  is  urged  on,  and, 
the  mask  often  mistaken  for  the  natural  face, 
fashion  helps  it  forward,  the  young  girl's  judg- 
ment is  blinded,  and  her  selection  is  left  to  all 
the  hazard  of  a  single  meeting.     When  the 


16  MARRIAGE   IN   ENGLAND. 

choice  is  made,  it  must  be  sacredly  kept.     Here 
commences  the  role  of  the  law. 


II. 

Celebration  of  Marriage  in  England. 

In  olden  time  the  validity  of  a  marriage  in 
England  was  questioned,  when  a  minister  of  the 
established  religion  was  not  present ;  but,  for  a 
long  time,  his  presence  has  only  been  considered 
a  matter  of  conscience,  and  not  of  necessity. 
Moreover,  the  consent  of  the  father,  mother,  or 
guardian,  as  well  as  the  publication  of  the  banns, 
were  not  indispensable.  No  particular  form  was 
necessary  ■  and  when,  later,  under  the  action  of 
Lord  Hardwicke's  statute,  certain  formalities 
were  made  imperative,  the  nullity  of  a  marriage 
could  not  be  obtained  on  the  ground  of  absence 
of  prescribed  formalities,  unless  this  nullity  was 
declared  as  sanctioned.  The  consequences  of 
such  imperfect  laws  could  not  but  be  soon  seen, 
and  reformation  was  attempted. 

The  last  statute  regulating  this  matter  dates 
from  the  reign  of  William  the  Fourth.  He 
established  registrars  of  districts,  who  kept  a 
register,    in   which    parties    desiring    to    marry 


MARRIAGE   IN  ENGLAND.  17 

recorded  notice  of  their  intention,  with  details 
necessary  to  inform  those  who  might  be  inter- 
ested in  opposing  it.  This  register  was  open 
and  free  to  the  public.  After  twenty-one  days 
of  this  sort  of  publication,  the  registrar  granted 
a  license  ;  that  is  to  say,  a  certificate  stating  that 
there  was  no  opposition  to  the  marriage,  and 
that  it  might  be  proceeded  with.  If  opposition 
was  made,  the  registrar  had  the  right  to  inquire 
and  see  if  there  was  foundation  for  it ;  and,  in 
case  of  doubt,  it  was  referred  to  the  registrar- 
general,  who  made  final  decision. 

These  formalities  complied  with,  the  marriage 
could  be  performed  by  a  minister  of  the  estab- 
lished church  of  England,  according  to  the  rites 
peculiar  to  it,  or  by  the  rabbi  for  the  Jews,  or 
by  an  elder  for  the  Quakers,  or  by  the  registrar 
for  any  of  these.  The  ceremony  must  take 
place  in  the  registrar's  office,  between  eight  and 
twelve  o'clock  in  the  morning,  in  the  presence 
of  witnesses ;  the  parties  declaring  under  oath, 
in  the  contract,  that  they  did  not  know  any  cause 
why  the  marriage  should  not  be  celebrated. 


18  MARRIAGE   IN   ENGLAND. 

III. 

Gretna  Green. 

To  avoid  these  restrictions,  the  English  very 
often  escaped  over  the  boundary,  to  Scotland. — 
where  the  laws  on  this  point  are  very  different, — 
and  by  the  blacksmith  of  Gretna  Green  were 
quickly  married,  without  formality  or  obstacle. 
But  a  bill,  which  passed  Parliament,  Dec.  31, 
1856,  declares,  henceforth,  such  irregular  mar- 
riages of  the  English  in  Scotland  not  valid  in 
England,  unless  one  of  the  parties  at  the  time 
of  marriage  is  a  resident  of  Scotland,  or  has 
lived  there  twenty-one  days  previously. 

Thus  we  see  that  a  certain  amount  of  for- 
mality is  required  of  persons  in  England  who 
are  about  to  marry,  but  that  the  door  of  Scotland 
is  always  open  for  those  who  desire  to  avoid  it. 
The  one  and  twenty  days'  residence  in  the  latter 
country  is  easily  avoided  by  a  subsequent  short 
absence,  or  by  complacent  witnesses,  so  that  the 
only  barrier  raised  by  the  law  is  broken  through. 
It  is  remarkable  that  in  England,  where  the 
paternal  will  is  received  as  a  dogma  in  the  fam- 
ily, the  father's  or  the  mother's  consent  is  not 
required;   and  the  large  number  of  marriages 


MARRIAGE    IN    ENGLAND.  19 

which  take  place  at  Gretna  Green  proves  that 
their  assent  is  far  from  being  always  obtained, 
which  is  equivalent  to  saying  that  their  authority 
is  very  often  unrecognized.  This  peculiar  trait 
in  manners  is  not  new  :  it  seems  to  be  even  tra- 
ditional, if  we  may  believe  Montesquieu,  who 
states  that  in  his  time  in  England,  "  the  young 
girls  often  abuse  the  law,  to  marry  of  their  own 
choice,  without  consulting  their  parents."  * 


IV. 

Marriage  in  Scotland. 

The  law  in  Scotland,  which  in  certain  respects 
seems  made  to  keep  up  the  separation  of  the 
two  countries,  requires  no  other  formality  than 
the  publication  of  the  banns  in  the  parish  where 
the  parties  reside.  And  a  minister  of  any 
denomination  is  authorized  to  perforin  the  mar- 
riage, with  no  other  requisition  than  the  consent 
of  the  parties  desiring  to  be  united.  Justices  of 
the  peace  cannot  perform  the  rite  ;  but  they  can 
give  a  certificate  of  the  wish  expressed  in  their 
presence,  and  this  is  sufficient  to  render  the 
marriage  valid. 

*  Esprit  des  Lois,  vol.  iii.,  p.  428. 


20  MARRIAGE   IN   ENGLAND. 

Such  is  the  substance  of  the  law  on  this  mat- 
ter in  England  and  Scotland. 


V. 

Position  of  the  English  Wife. 

Let  us  look  at  the  position  of  the  English 
wife,  in  the  family,  in  society,  and  in  the  eye  of 
the  law. 

In  England,  the  married  woman  is  only  the 
equal  of  her  husband  in  a  religious  point  of 
view,  not  otherwise.  She  is,  it  is  true,  the 
object  of  his  affections  and  regards,  but  it  can- 
not be  said  that  she  is  really  his  companion,  the 
confidante  of  his  inmost  thoughts  ;  for  the  Eng- 
lishman does  not  disclose  them  to  his  wife.  This 
is  not  a  want  of  confidence  in  her ;  it  belongs  to 
the  national  character,  and  to  the  consciousness 
every  man  has  of  his  own  personal  dignity  and 
superiority  to  his  wife,  which  public  opinion  and 
the  law  accord  him  under  all  circumstances. 
And,  as  everything  in  society  is  controlled  by  a 
sort  of  code  of  decorum,  custom  is  busied  with 
the  regulation  of  relations  which  amongst  other 
people  are  left  to  mutual  affection,  and  by  it 
alone  guided. 


MARRIAGE    IN   ENGLAND.  21 

The  mother  in  England  is,  it  is  true,  the  cen- 
tre of  the  family,  around  whom  are  grouped  the 
husband  and  children ;  all  are  strongly  bound 
together,  yet  they  cannot  be  said  to  be  united. 
Each  has  a  marked  out  and  defined  position. 
There  is  a  blending  of  deference  and  indepen- 
dence, constituting  one  of  the  characteristic 
traits  of  the  English  family,  which  is  very  strik- 
ing to  the  French,  among  whom  the  family  cir- 
cle has  a  very  different  aspect  of  freedom,  dis- 
tinctions being  less  marked,  but  not  on  that 
account  forgotten.  Nevertheless,  it  may  be, 
that,  in  contrasting  and  comparing  the  two  sys- 
tems, we  come  to  the  conclusion  that  it  would 
be  better  to  modify  both,  by  lessening  the  for- 
malism of  one,  and  the  too  great  freedom  of  the 
other. 


VI. 


The  Domestic  Hearth  turned  into  a  Boarding- House. 

English  domestic  life,  the  home,  otherwise 
so  commended  and  estimable,  has  for  some 
time  past  been  changing  greatly  among  the 
mercantile  class,  especially  of  the  larger  cities. 
The  expense  of  living,  luxury,  and  a  multitude 


22  MARRIAGE   IN   ENGLAND. 

of  new  wants,  press  heavily  on  the  limited 
resources  of  a  large  number  of  the  people. 
These  exigencies  must  be  met ;  and,  to  satisfy 
them,  recourse  is  had  to  means  totally  at  vari- 
ance with  English  manners  and  with  tradition, 
which  is,  notwithstanding,  so  powerful  in  this 
country.  I  speak  of  the  custom  that  has 
grown  ryp  of  taking  pensionnaires,  —  what  in 
English  is  called  keeping  a  boarding-house. 
Thus,  for  example,  in  London  and  the  neighbor- 
hood, many  families  resort  to  this  expedient ;  and 
fill  the  papers  with  their  advertisements  to  the 
public,  especially  to  the  unmarried. 

This  new  element  introduced  into  the  domes- 
tic circle,  often  without  much  circumspection  or 
precaution,  renders  the  family  relations  more 
free,  and  sometimes  compromises  them.  It  is 
the  life  in  common,  with  all  its  hazards,  substi- 
tuted for  the  retired  home  one  ;  and  we  may 
readily  foresee  the  evils  arising  from  it.  At  first, 
excused  by  real,  even  absolute,  necessity,  this 
mode  of  life  has  by  interested  persons  finally 
been  employed  for  abominable  purposes.  Abso- 
lutely snares  set  for  the  good-nature  and  credu- 
lity of  the  public.  A  direct  influence  is  brought 
to  bear  upon  the  weaknesses  of  a  boarder,  to 
entice  him  to  commit  some  offence,  which  has 
been  meanly  watched,  and  for  which  he  is  to  be 


MARRIAGE    IN   ENGLAND.  23 

made  to  pay  dearly.  This  custom  has  been 
sketched  by  the  masterly  hand  of  Dickens,  in 
his  story  of  Pickwick ;  but  the  picture  he  drew 
did  not  permit  him  to  expose  all  the  peculiari- 
ties of  this  mercantile  strategy,  notwithstanding 
their  interest.  From  a  reserve  which  the  reader 
will  appreciate,  I  shall  abstain  also. 


VII. 

Society  Life. 

English  life  is  generally  domestic ;  society, 
in  our  sense  of  the  word,  does  not  exist  in 
England,  except  perhaps  in  some  aristocratic 
salons  in  London.  A  few  distinguished  women 
may  be  found  there,  but  they  appear  rather  as 
meteors  than  constellations.  It  is  not  from  lack 
of  talent,  but  the  field  for  it,  —  a  vital  differ- 
ence in  the  organization  of  French  and  English 
society.  In  a  social  point  of  view  it  is  a  means 
of  influence  now  lost  to  the  English  woman, 
leaving  much  to  be  desired  in  this  country,  and 
its  development  is,  moreover,  checked  by  the 
feeling  of  rank  so  strongly  rooted  in  the  upper 
classes. 


24  MARRIAGE   IN   ENGLAND. 

VIII. 

Civil  Rights  of  the  English  Woman. 

In  civil  life,  the  English  married  woman  is 
quite  ignored.  By  the  Marriage  Act,  her  husband 
becomes  the  proprietor  of  her  personal  property, 
and  has  the  interest  of  her  real  estate.  He  is 
her  legal  guardian  ;  and,  when  by  agreement 
matters  are  arranged  differently,  trustees  are 
appointed,  who  have  charge  and  control  of  her 
property,  —  in  which  case  she  and  her  husband 
are  dependent  upon  their  probity  and  intelligence, 
they  having  the  power  to  misuse  or  mismanage 
it,  not  to  speak  of  the  disputes  which  may  arise 
between  them  and  the  husband  with  regard  to 
the  better  disposal  of  the  wife's  estate.  All  this 
form  reminds  us  of  the  customs  of  a  bygone  age, 
based  on  the  legal  presumption  that  the  wife  was 
incapable  of  taking  care  of  her  own  interests. 
I  will  not  speak  of  the  other  circumstances  in 
which  the  law  takes  for  granted  the  incapacity 
of  the  wife,  and  her  inferiority  to  the  husband. 
It  is  the  peculiar  trait  alone  which  I  wish  to 
point  out,  without  entering  into  technical  details. 

We  can  understand  why,  in  the  face  of  a  law 
so  unjust,  English  women,  even  those  unmarried, 


MARRIAGE   IN   ENGLAND.  25 

should  not,  like  the  French  under  certain  cir- 
cumstances, desire  to  enter  the  sphere  of  busi- 
ness or  industry.  They  would  fail,  certainly  not 
from  a  lack  of  intelligence,  but  because  confi- 
dence and  credit  were  withheld  from  them. 
Whatever  opposes  opinion  or  prejudice  must 
expect  certain  failure. 


IX. 

The  English  Woman  considered  as  an  Heir. 

As  an  heir,  the  English  woman's  position  is 
not  less  subordinate.  She  must  yield  to  con- 
siderations of  policy  or  to  aristocratic  tenden- 
cies, which  influence  the  middling  classes,  who 
also  desire  to  keep  up  primogeniture.  The 
greater  part  of  the  land,  being  held  by  the 
nobility,  falls  by  entail  to  the  eldest  son  of  each 
family.  The  daughters  have  a  share  in  the 
division  of  the  other  property.  But,  very  often, 
their  portion  is  singularly  reduced  by  a  will ; 
which  may  even  entirely  set  them  aside,  in  vir- 
tue of  the  power  granted  without  reserve  to  the 
father  of  the  family.  Hence  the  daughters  are 
often  completely  sacrificed ;  and  fall  from  the 
state  of  opulence,  in  which  they  were  educated, 


26  MARRIAGE   IN   ENGLAND. 

to  a  position  almost  of  dependence.  This  great 
inequality  between  the  daughters  and  their  eldest 
brother  affects  the  family  feeling,  under  any  cir- 
cumstances ;  for  it  tends  to  separate  more  and 
more  the  different  members  from  each  other. 
The  younger  brothers,  if  they  are  as  badly 
treated  as  their  sisters,  have  at  least  the  resource 
of  following  some  career  which  may  lead  them 
to  a  fortune,  and  so  repair  the  injustice  of  the 
law.  But  the  woman  is  by  custom  condemned 
to  a  position  of  helplessness,  which  really  ren- 
ders her  worse  off  than  any  of  her  brothers. 


X. 

Divorce,  and  Separation  from  Bed  and  Board,  in  England. 

If,  passing  by  all  general  considerations,  we 
look  at  the  miseries  of  an  ill-assorted  marriage, 
it  is  then  that  the  English  woman  is  truly  worthy 
of  sympathy.  According  to  the  old  law,  which 
was  in  force  till  1856,  a  wife  who  was  abandoned 
by  her  husband  could  not  keep  the  earnings  of 
her  labor,  or  the  assistance  received  from  her 
family.  What  complaints  and  what  sufferings 
remained  so  long  without  redress  !  Meantime, 
a  necessity  of   radically  altering   the   law  of 


MARRIAGE   IN   ENGLAND.  27 

divorce  induced  Parliament  occasionally  to  in- 
terest itself  in  the  fate  of  the  deserted  wife.  a 

By  the  Bill  of  Reform  of  1857,  every  woman, 
deserted  by  her  husband,  can  withhold  from  him 
and  his  creditors  all  she  can  acquire  by  her 
industry,  and  that  which  she  may  inherit,  or  have 
willed  to  her.  She  has  the  power  to  dispose  of 
her  property,  and  to  proceed  at  law  for  the  pres- 
ervation and  maintenance  of  her  rights,  as 
though  she  were  not  married  ;  and,  finally,  to  give 
married  women  of  all  classes  the  benefit  of  these 
new  provisions,  magistrates  of  the  metropolitan 
police  in  London,  and  justices  of  the  peace  in 
the  counties,  are  invested  with  the  right  of  grant- 
ing this  sort  of  emancipation,  when  they  find  it 
sufficiently  justified. 

This  is  a  great  innovation  in  English  law.  It 
is  a  provision  truly  extravagant  in  the  eyes  of 
the  most  liberal  legislator  ;  for  it  destroys  the 
marital  control,  while  leaving  the  conjugal  knot 
still  tied.  It  does  more  than  protect  the  wife 
against  her  husband  ;  it  overshoots  the  mark,  by 
leaving  her  without  protection  from  herself,  since 
it  allows  her  to  dispose  of  any  future  fortune, 
even  patrimony,  which  she  may  receive.  It  is 
falling  from  one  extreme  into  the  opposite. 
Such,  however,  is  the  general  tendency  of  law 
made  now-a-days. 


28  MARRIAGE   IN   ENGLAND. 

Divorce  has  existed  a  long  time  in  England ; 
*.  but,  until  the  Bill  of  Reform  of  which  I  have 
spoken,  this  legal  redress  has  only  been  acces- 
sible to  the  wealthy.  It  was,  in  fact,  a  law  of 
distinction.  The  inextricable  labyrinth  of  pro- 
cedures, their  injustice,  the  exclusive  jurisdictions, 
and  the  enormous  costs,  all  rendered  an  appeal 
to  the  law  impossible, —  at  least  for  the  large 
majority.  Hence  followed  second  marriages, 
without  the  first  being  broken  by  divorce  ;  more- 
over, adulteries,  and  illegitimate  births.  They 
shut  their  eyes  to  the  crime  of  polygamy,  although 
it  was  declared  a  felony.  Facts  had  a  power 
the  penal  law  could  not  repress.  The  latter 
was  forced  to  retreat.  The  evil  acquired  such 
proportions,  that  Parliament  interested  itself, 
and  totally  changed  the  law,  by  substituting  an 
entirely  new  state  of  things,  which  is  being  tried 
now,  and  which  may  be  summed  up  as  follows  : 
A  husband  can  claim  a  divorce  from  his  wife 
solely  on  the  ground  of  adultery ;  she,  on  the 
contrary,  is  obliged  to  prove  more  against  her 
husband,  to  obtain  a  dissolution  of  the  bond. 
Not  only  must  he  have  been  guilty  of  the  crime, 
but  his  accomplice  must  be  a  woman  whom  he 
would  not  have  the  right  to  espouse,  were  he 
free,  on^.ccount  of  legal  prohibition,  from  con- 
sanguinity or  affinity ;  or  he  must,  by  marrying 


MARRIAGE   IN   ENGLAND.  29 

his  accomplice,  have  thereby  committed  big- 
amy ;  or  else  there  must,  besides  the  commission 
of  the  deed,  be  some  cruelty  on  the  part  of  the 
husband  towards  his  wife,  or  abandonment  for 
two  years  or  more  without  valid  excuse.  The 
wife  can,  besides,  claim  two  other  causes  for 
divorce ;  thus,  she  can  take  advantage  of  her 
husband's  having  been  guilty  of  rape,  or  by 
some  unnatural  crime  rendered  himself  amena- 
ble to  the  law.  To  claim  these  rights,  however, 
there  must  be  nothing  in  the  conduct  of  the  one 
appealing,  to  extenuate  the  fault  of  the  other. 
And  it  lies  with  the  court  to  decide  under  these 
circumstances.  In  the  place  of  the  special  juris- 
dictions for  which  these  sort  of  affairs  were  for- 
merly reserved,  a  court  has  been  substituted 
composed  of  judges  detached  from  the  other 
courts  j  and  the  procedures  and  costs  have  been 
so  modified  and  reduced  as  to  render  this  tribu- 
nal accessible  to  all,  or  at  least  the  majority. 

Divorce  being  naturally  so  extreme  a  measure, 
endeavor  has  been  made  to  induce  the  married 
couple,  under  certain  circumstances,  to  accept 
an  expedient,  which,  not  being  equivalent  to  a 
divorce,  does  not  shut  the  door  to  future  recon- 
ciliation. Separation  from  bed  and  board  {sep- 
aration de  corps)  has  been  introduced,,,  which 
does  not  dissolve  the  marriage  bond,  but  simply 


30  MARRIAGE   IN    ENGLAND. 

loosens  it.  This  may  be  claimed,  ist,  In  case 
of  abandonment  of  either  party,  for  two  years  or 
more ;  2d,  For  adultery ;  and  3d,  For  ill  usage 
so  severe  as  to  cause  fear  of  life.  Jurisdiction 
in  affairs  of  this  sort  is  invested  in  courts  of 
justice,  with  trial  by  jury. 

This  law,  so  suddenly  and  totally  altered,  has 
revealed  one  of  the  weaknesses  of  English  soci- 
ety. In  reality,  statistics  have  shown  that  since 
the  establishment  of  this  new  jurisdiction,  the 
number  of  applications  for  divorce  has  increased 
beyond  all  expectation ;  so  that  the  court  can- 
not get  through  with  the  business  before  it  under 
three  years.  Good  people  now  think  that  they 
have  gone  too  far  on  this  road  of  reform,  —  it 
is  so  difficult  in  experimenting  upon  the  body 
politic,  as  upon  individuals,  to  find  a  remedy 
adapted  to  the  complaint,  and  not  exceed  the 
dose  which  can  be  borne ! 


CHAPTER    III. 

MARRIAGE  IN  AMERICA. 

I. 

Preliminaries. 

I  come  now  to  marriage  in  America. 

The  young  American  enjoys  still  greater  free- 
dom than  the  English  girl ;  for  she  has  the  inde- 
pendence of  race,  and  that  coming  from  tradi- 
tion, increased  by  contact  with  democratic  man- 
ners. It  is,  however,  but  fair  to  remember,  that 
this  liberty  and  independence  do  not  have  the 
same  inconveniences,  and  do  not  present  the 
same  dangers  as  they  would  elsewhere ;  for,  in 
America,  woman  is  under  the  shield  of  public 
opinion,  and  this  is  no  unmeaning  word.  How- 
ever inexperienced  in  life,  she  may  travel  alone, 
and  pass  through  the  whole  United  States  with- 
out a  man  daring  to  hazard  a  word  or  gesture 
in  her  presence  which  could  offend  her.     She 


32  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

is,  moreover,  the  object  of  every  attention  and 
regard.  This  deference  does  great  honor  to  the 
intelligence  of  the  Americans,  who  have  realized 
in  the  midst  of  the  pek-mek  of  democratic  life, 
that  woman  ought  to  be  placed  above  the  gene- 
ral level ;  and  yet  nothing  in  this  affects  the 
idea  of  equality,  since  she  remains  a  stranger  to 
the  struggles  of  active  life. 

The  young  American  girls  very  early  take  part 
in  the  reunions  of  which  they,  together  with  the 
young  men  of  their  own  age,  form,  either  exclu- 
sively, or  nearly  so,  the  nucleus ;  thus  leaving 
out  those  whom  marriage  has  already  received 
under  its  banner.  It  has  been  very  wittily  said 
of  some  of  these  reunions,  that  the  cradles  are 
the  only  things  lacking.  Here  and  there  we 
meet  with  esprit,  but  what  one  mostly  hears  is  a 
certain  small  talk  that  aims  less  at  wit  than 
mere  sound.  If  done  privately,  it  becomes 
what  in  English  is  called  flirtation.  It  is  as  it 
were  a  tilt  of  desultory  remarks  without  appa- 
rent signification,  but  whose  intended  aim  is 
always  marriage,  without  the  episodes  formed  by 
preparatory  incidents.  Interest  will  be  found 
more  or  less  at  the  bottom  of  every  one's 
thoughts.  And  how  can  it  be  otherwise  where 
the  young  girls  know  that  they  must  depend 
upon  themselves  to  find  a  husband  ? 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  33 

But,  if  we  often  can  but  see  in  these  reun- 
ions a  sort  of  champ  d'affaires,  we  must  needs 
recognize  the  true  and  deep  affections  which 
grow  up  in  the  midst  of  these  frivolities,  where 
the  heart  has  staked  much,  and  not  weighed 
obstacles.  Suddenly,  unforeseen  circumstances 
arise  which  prevent  the  projected  union  taking 
place.  The  young  girl,  unaccustomed  to  meet 
with  restraint,  is  crushed  by  this  resistance  that 
is  stronger  than  she.  Sometimes  she  succumbs 
to  it  j  and,  if  she  survives  the  misfortune,  what 
ravages  do  we  not  see  in  her  feelings,  spirits, 
and  heart !  There  remains  only  perfect  indiffer- 
ence to  life,  and  bitter  scorn  for  society.  An 
unfortunate,  whom  a  more  carefully  directed 
education,  a  more  foreseeing  society,  might,  no 
doubt,  have  saved  from  such  danger. 

Besides  these  reunions,  it  is,  as  in  England,  at 
the  Springs,  at  watering-places,  and  in  travelling, 
that  the  young  American  girl  seeks  a  husband  ; 
and,  when  she  thinks  the  occasion  favorable, 
engages  in  this  search  alone,  without  the  advice 
of  those  who  by  nature  and  affection  are  placed 
at  her  side  as  her  most  intimate  and  devoted 
advisers.  When  still  quite  young,  ignorant  of 
herself,  life  not  yet  a  lesson,  when  circumstances 
the  most  frivolous,  appearances  the  most  decep- 
tive,  and   errors   of  judgment,  may  blind   her 


34  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

reason,  —  she  makes  the  most  important  deci- 
sion of  her  life. 

Independent  by  nature  and  education,  she 
feels  less  than  we  can  realize  of  the  hesitation 
which  is  a  part  of  the  character  of  the  young 
French  girl.  She  is,  moreover,  naturally  dis- 
posed to  receive  with  the  greatest  reluctance 
any  opposition  on  the  part  of  her  parents  ;  and, 
with  certain  exceptions,  rarely  met  with  outside 
of  families  where  tradition  has  been  more  a  pre- 
cept, this  delicate  deference  of  a  daughter  to  her 
mother  is  not  seen,  —  in  reality,  the  most  touch- 
ing homage  which  can  be  offered  the  parent  to 
whom  all  is  owed. 

It  is  under  these  conditions  that  marriage  is 
very  often  formed  and  contracted  in  the  United 
States.  We  can  understand  the  law  not  being 
more  exacting  than  custom,  and  therefore  not 
requiring  the  consent  of  the  parents  to  their 
children's  marriage.  Consent  is  in  fact  nearly 
always  given.  But  it  would  be  very  curious  to 
inquire  and  ascertain,  as  a  trait  of  manners,  how 
often  this  consent  is  not  obtained,  except  too 
late,  in  order  to  satisfy  public  opinion.  We  have 
seen  that  the  number  of  English  marriages  made 
at  Gretna  Green  reached  so  high  a  figure  that 
Parliament  interested  itself,  and  endeavored  to 
find  a  remedy ;  but  no  such  provision  exists  for 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA  oO 

the  United  States,  except,  perhaps,  in  reference 
to  elopements,  of  which  I  shall  hereafter  speak. 


II. 

Civil  Capacity  for  Marriage.  —  Celebration. 

In  the  United  States,  following  the  Common 
Law  of  England,  which  is  the  general  rule,— 
modified,  however,  in  some  of  the  States,  —  the 
minimum  age  for  marriage  is  fourteen  years  for  the 
man,  and  twelve  for  the  woman.  Having  passed 
this  age,  the  young  people  can  dispense  with  the 
consent  of  their  father,  mother,  and  guardian. 
It  is  also  true,  that,  according  to  this  same  law, 
the  marriage  contract  can  be  entered  into,  with 
the  consent  of  the  father  and  mother,  at  seven 
years  of  age.  But  it  does  not  seem  that  parents 
could  be  so  unnatural  as  to  promote  such 
unions,  —  except,  perhaps,  under  pretence  of 
betrothing. 

Just  as  the  consent  of  the  parents  is  not 
required,  so  the  Common  Law  does  not  compel 
the  publication  of  the  banns,  or  require  witnesses 
to  the  act,  or  even  the  signatures  of  the  parties  ; 
and  the  marriage  may  be  performed  by  a  justice 
of  the  peace,  or  a  minister  of  religion, —  no  matter 


36  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

where  they  may  reside,  even  outside  of  the  com- 
munity of  the  espoused's  home,  —  at  any  hour,  and 
in  any  place.  What  a  departure  from  the  man- 
ners of  the  Pilgrims  !  No  more  paternal  author- 
ity; clandestinity  is  substituted  in  broad  daylight, 
—  the  salutary  participation  of  a  minister  of  reli- 
gion often  set  aside,  and  his  place  filled  by  the 
presence  of  some  obscure  justice  of  the  peace, 
or  other  subordinate  officer,  unknown  to  all  par- 
ties !  These  customs  are  fortunately  not  yet  very 
widely  spread  :  but  it  is  a  great  defect  in  the 
law,  to  deprive  marriage  of  a  certain  solemnity, 
which  renders  its  importance  better  understood  ; 
and  to  remove  from  it  the  guaranty  of  publicity, 
which  keeps  alive  the  respect  of  mankind,  and 
from  which  only  too  many  people  seek  to  escape. 
It  is  true,  some  people  hold  that  the  publicity 
of  marriage  is  of  no  interest ;  that  the  union  of 
the  individuals  is  their  exclusive  affair  alone,  and 
concerns  no  one  else.  This  reasoning  arises 
from  the  predominant  idea  in  America,  that  the 
individual  is  superior  to  the  community,  and 
that  the  latter  should  not  exercise  any  restraints, 
except  in  rare  cases,  and  from  reasons  of  most 
serious,  moment.  But  it  is  forgotten  that  mar- 
riage is  the  foundation  of  the  family,  and  creates 
new  relations  between  persons  who  have  been 
strangers  to  each  other ;  and  hence  come  rights 


MARRIAGE    IX   AMERICA.  37 

and  duties  of  every  nature,  domestic,  civil,  polit- 
ical :  and  we  cannot  too  much  protect  an  insti- 
tution, the  most  ancient  and  respectable  of  all, 
where  morality  is  tempered  by  social  condition. 
These  ideas,  however,  seem  to  have  made 
some  impression  upon  certain  minds ;  for,  I 
believe,  there  are  two  States  where  the  guaranty 
of  publicity  is  required,  but  without  penal  enforce- 
ment It  should  be  stated,  that,  in  the  United 
States  as  in  England,  the  fact  of  cohabitation 
suffices  to  render  the  judges  very  lenient  in 
making  valid  an  imperfect  marriage.  Probably, 
it  was  with  this  idea  that  the  Court  of  the 
Queen's  Bench,  the  highest  in  England,  decided, 
in  1855,  that  a  Protestant  minister  could  per- 
form his  own  marriage  ceremony ;  and,  on  this 
ground,  declared  valid  one  which  had  taken 
place  under  these  conditions.  In  France,  such 
principles  are  in  opposition  to  our  most  elemen- 
tary ideas  of  right ;  and  nothing  could  be  urged 
less  likely  to  admit  the  possible  application  of 
similar  theories  than  the  consideration  that  the 
act  had  been  accomplished. 


38  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 


III. 


Eccentric  Forms  of  Celebration. 

Circumstances  often  unite  in  giving  the  cele- 
bration of  certain  unions  a  bizarre  appearance. 
Thus  it  is  related,  that,  in  the  State  of  Maine, 
the  conductor  of  a  railroad  train,  who,  no  doubt, 
was  too  much  occupied  to  give  a  day  to  his 
marriage,  invited  his  fiancee  and  a  minister  into 
a  car ;  and,  while  the  train  was  in  motion,  the 
marriage  ceremony  was  performed.  So  that  the 
man  started  from  one  station  a  bachelor,  and 
arrived  married  at  the  next.  It  is  but  one  of 
the  thousand  examples  of  life  as  it  goes  in  this 
fast  country. 

A  still  more  original  marriage  is  that  of  two 
young  fiances  in  Virginia,  who,  in  1855,  had  to 
cross  a  river  in  search  of  the  minister  who  was 
to  unite  them  :  it  was  so  swollen  that  the  pas- 
sage wTas  impossible,  so  the  young  people 
called  to  the  first  person  who  appeared  on  the 
opposite  bank,  and  explained  the  object  of  their 
pursuit.  The  pastor  came ;  the  paper  which 
contained  the  necessary  permission  was  rolled 
up,  attached  to  a  stone,  and  thrown  across  to 
the  minister,  who,   after  reading  it,  and  going 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA. 


39 


through  with  the  usual  questions  and  responses, 
across  the  stream,  married  the  couple  according 
to  the  rites*  of  the  church.  Peculiar  as  these 
marriages  appear  in  form,  they  are  none  the 
less  real,  and  have  all  the  legal  consequences. 


IV. 

Mock  Marriages. 

The  two  facts  which  have  just  been  narrated, 
are  only  peculiar  so  far  as  the  form  is  con- 
cerned ;  but  there  are  others  which  seriously 
injure  the  respect  due  to  marriage,  and  the  law 
which  protects  it.  An  American  author*  has 
well  said,  "Among  the  follies  which  certain 
people  give  themselves  to  are  mock  marriages, 
made  for  amusement."  According  to  this  writer, 
if  two  people,  not  having  the  serious  intention 
of  marrying,  nevertheless,  go  through  with  the 
formalities,  for  excitement  or  amusement,  they 
are  none  the  less  united  by  a  legal  bond,  which 
prevents  their  contracting  another  union  while 
this  exists.  This  is  precisely  what  happened  in 
Pennsylvania,  in  1857.    A  certain  Miss  J.  was  at 

*  Bishop,  On  Marriage  and  Divorce,  §  83. 


40  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

a  party  with  Mr.  B. ;  and,  jesting  about  marriage, 
they  imitated  what  takes  place  under  such  cir- 
cumstances. Mr.  B.  asked  the  hand  of  Miss  J., 
who  consented.  To  continue  the  pleasantry, 
they  went  before  the  pastor  of  the  neighborhood, 
and  the  conjugal  knot  was  tied.  Meantime  the 
young  lady,  after  recovering  her  presence  of 
mind,  would  not  carry  on  the  counterfeit  mar- 
riage. But  the  husband  took  the  thing  in  ear- 
nest, and  claimed  the  execution  of  the  union. 
The  wife  refused  ;  and  was  obliged,  in  order  to 
free  herself  from  the  legal  consequences  of  her 
thoughtless  engagement,  to  make  application  for 
a  divorce.  The  author  of  whom  I  speak  cites 
another  instance  very  analogous,  and  in  this 
case,  as  in  the  former,  a  divorce  was  granted. 
If  the  law  was  more  foreseeing  and  really  pro- 
tective, such  scandals  would  not  take  place,  and 
the  respect  which  ought  to  surround  marriage 
would  be  preserved. 


V. 

Forced  Marriages. 

It  is  a  wonder  that  matters  of  this  kind  are 
not  more  frequent ;  for,  according  to  the  doctrine 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  41 

adopted  by  the  different  courts,  circumstantial 
evidence  alone  may  prove  the  fact  of  an  engage- 
ment to  marry.  "It  is  not  necessary,"  said  a 
judge  to  the  jury,  in  the  State  of  New  York, 
"  that  a  promise  of  marriage  should  be  made  in 
express  terms ;  frequent  visits,  conversation 
aside,  expressions  of  attachment,  some  presents 
offered,  walks  taken  together,  etc.,  are  sufficient 
circumstances  on  which  to  rely  in  proving  the 
existence  of  a  marriage  engagement.  And,  if 
this  evidence  is  such  as  to  convince  the  judge, 
the  law  does  not  require  anything  more  to  prove 
the  tie." 

This  arbitrary  interpretation,  in  a  matter  so 
grave,  has  opened  the  door  to  the  most  shame- 
ful speculations.  Marriageable  girls  and  wid- 
ows, repudiating  the  reserve  which  belongs  to 
their  sex,  set  themselves  in  pursuit  of  wealthy 
men,  always  those  advanced  in  life  ;  and  seek, 
by  artifices  more  or  less  ingenious,  to  attract 
them  to  themselves ;  and  so,  by  some  familiari- 
ties, in  which  they  always  take  the  initiative,  to 
give  rise  to  the  idea  with  the  public,  that  a  mar- 
riage would  follow.  And,  when  they  think  suffi- 
cient evidence  has  been  accumulated,  raising 
the  mask,  they  demand  either  marriage  or  a 
heavy  indemnity.  Sometimes  to  escape  scan- 
dal, even  unmerited,  this  Machiavelian  pressure 


42  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

is  yielded  to  ;  and  a  sum,  generally  pretty  heavy, 
is  sacrificed  to  obtain  peace.  If  the  demand  is 
resisted,  the  affair  is  quickly  laid  before  the 
court,  and  the  jury  decides. 

In  these  questions,  which  touch  prejudices, 
preconceived  opinions,  and  envy,  —  the  special 
enemy  of  a  wealthy  man,  —  the  jury  is  easily  im- 
pressed by  the  appeal  of  the  woman  who  appears 
as  a  victim  ;  and  we  see  verdicts  so  exaggerated 
as  to  be  rather  impulses  ab  irato  than  judicial 
decisions. 

Quite  recently,  a  case  of  this  kind  occurred  in 
the  State  of  Missouri ;  and  the  jury,  yielding  I 
know  not  to  what  impulse,  condemned  a  wealthy 
man  of  the  place,  sued  simply  on  presumption, 
to  pay  $100,000  damage  to  a  woman  who  kept 
a  lodging-house  in  St.  Louis.  The  victim  of 
this  swindle,  not  submitting  to  the  decision,  made 
appeal  ;  and  judges,  more  calm,  and  better 
informed  of  the  precedents  of  the  woman,  an- 
nulled the  verdict,  releasing  the  accused  from 
further  prosecution. 

An  American  journal*  moderate  in  its  opin- 
ions, and  holding  considerable  influence,  accom- 
panies the  narration  of  this  trial  with  the  follow- 
ing remarks : 

*  New  York  Semi-weekly  Times,  April  6,  i860. 


MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA.  43 

"  It  is  time  such  a  lesson  was  taught  [these  sort  of 
women] ;  for  suits  for  breach  of  promise  of  marriage  have 
become  disgustingly  common  throughout  the  United 
States.  Half  a  dozen  heavy  damages  seem  to  have  stim- 
ulated the  appetite  of  a  certain  number  of  women,  more 
or  less  young,  and  excited  them  on  all  sides  to  commence 
prosecutions.  It  has  become  absolutely  dangerous  for 
wealthy  men  to  be  polite  towards  an  unmarried  woman  ! 
We  believe  they  will  now  be  able  to  breathe  a  little  more 
freely." 

This  is  a  trait  in  morals,  of  English  importa- 
tion, nearly  unknown  among  us.  Let  us  hope  to 
escape  the  contagion. 

What  strange  law !  If  it  concerns  the  sale 
of  the  smallest  corner  of  land,  there  must  be  a 
deed  signed,  sealed  in  the  presence  of  witnesses, 
and  recorded  in  a  register.  If  it  is  a  will,  still 
more  is  demanded.  But,  for  the  most  impor- 
tant act  of  life,  the  simplest  tokens  are  suffi- 
cient to  prove  the  existence  of  an  engagement 
between  the  parties.  As  if  marriage  did  not 
involve  consequences  of  fortune  more  important 
than  a  sale  or  a  will !  In  view  of  this  excessive 
readiness  of  the  law  in  the  formation  of  mar- 
riage, should  we  not  be  authorized  in  saying  that 
it  aimed  only  at  a  promiscuous  intercourse,  de- 
signed to  increase  the  population,  without  regard 
to  moral  considerations,  or  the  future  of  the 
family  ?     This  idea  is  still  further  strengthened, 


44  MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA. 

by  the  corresponding  facilities  afforded  for  di- 
vorce, as  we  shall  hereafter  see. 


VI. 

Marriages  in  the  West. 

One  of  the  causes  which  contribute  to  give 
great  impulse  to  sudden  and  inconsiderate  mar- 
riages is  the  rapid  development  of  the  new  States 
of  the  Union,  where  a  large  number  of  adven- 
turers flock  to  seek  their  fortune,  meeting  with 
greater  or  less  prosperity.  They  at  first  form 
only  settlements  of  men ;  but,  with  money,  the 
desire  for  family  makes  itself  felt,  and  many 
young  girls,  who  have  some  education,  seek  a 
husband  there,  —  not  from  motives  of  affection, 
but  impelled  by  ambition  and  the  thirst  for  nov- 
elty, which  incites  them  to  tempt  the  chances  of 
these  alliances. 

The  settlements  in  the  West  are  so  primitive, 
there  is  so  little  civilization,  that  a  peculiar 
stamp  is  impressed  upon  them,  which  is  attrac- 
tive. Circumstances,  however,  sometimes  pre- 
vent the  immigration  of  women,  and  the  gloom 
and  languor  which  pervade  these  sections  can 
scarcely  be  imagined.      Thus,  in  some  of  the 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  45 

rapidly  formed  territories,  we  may  perhaps  find 
only  men,  —  it  having  chanced  that  women  had 
not  thought  to  go  in  this  direction.  We  soon 
find  appearing  in  the  papers  positive  supplica- 
tions from  these  unfortunate  men  to  the  young 
women  of  the  other  States,  entreating  them  to 
come,  and  share  their  life,  giving  them  their 
choice,  and  promising  dowries  quite  comforta- 
ble and  well  assured.  In  good  time,  an  echo  is 
heard  to  this  request;  the  desired  helpmates 
arrive,  and  soon  the  country  beams  with  happi- 
ness and  prosperity,  —  a  result  that  money  alone 
would  have  been  powerless  to  produce. 

The  scarcity  of  women  always  makes  itself 
heard  at  intervals  in  the  regions  of  the  West. 
Thus,  we  find,  in  May,  1857,  a  newspaper  of 
Iowa,  the  Iowa  Reporter,  making  a  most  ener- 
getic appeal  to  the  women  of  all  lands  to  flock 
there.  It  says  that  the  last  census,  taken  in 
June,  1856,  shows  that  the  excess  of  the  male 
population  in  Iowa  is  thirty-three  thousand  six 
hundred  and  forty,  without  counting  the  immi- 
grants who  have  arrived  since  then  (nearly  a 
year),  and  those  who  are  yet  expected.  It  fin- 
ishes by  stating,  "  We  are  sixty  thousand  short 
of  women  to  make  the  balance  equal  ! "  Is 
there  not  in  this  formidable  number  a  lamenta- 
tion fitted  to  touch  the  hearts  of  the  most  indif- 


46  MARRIAGE  IN   AMERICA. 

ferent !  There  are  some  women  who  emigrate 
to  these  countries,  like  those  who  go  to  the 
English  colonies  in  India,  sure,  no  matter  what 
their  position,  of  being  eagerly  sought  after  upon 
their  arrival.  What  takes  place  in  the  West, 
however,  is  merely  a  transitory  condition,  and 
cannot  serve  as  the  basis  for  judgment  in  gen- 
eral. 


VII. 

Misalliances. 

We  might  suppose  that  the  great  liberty 
granted  to  young  girls,  in  America,  would  cause 
them  to  feel  the  responsibility  which  their  deci- 
sion involved  ;  and,  in  doing  an  act  of  freewill, 
they  would  not  offend  any  social  proprieties. 
But  it  is  not  always  so.  Misalliances  now  and 
then  take  place,  which  simple  self-respect  would 
forbid,  and  yet  which  do  occur,  to  the  great 
injury  of  the  domestic  circle  and  public  morality. 

Even  in  the  heart  of  republics,  there  are  inev- 
itable inequalities  of  position.  These  do  not 
result  from  birth,  but  from  education.  And,  if 
this  is  true  of  the  relations  of  man  to  man,  how 
much  greater  must  be  this  inequality  between 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  47 

men  and  women  !  It  would  seem  as  if  the  deli- 
cacy of  their  nature,  perfected  by  education, 
ought  to  form  an  impassable  abyss  between  the 
latter  and  a  coarse  and  vulgar  man,  —  above  all 
as  respects  marriage.  The  exceptions  which 
sometimes  occur  to  this  natural  law  must  there- 
fore be  regarded  as  deviations.  Unfortunately, 
they  are  found  in  the  United  States,  as  we  have 
also  seen,  quite  recently,  in  France ;  and,  in  cit- 
ing two  cases  only  of  this  kind,  it  is  to  prove  that 
even  in  the  country  where  the  family  seems  best 
protected  by  public  opinion,  there  is  no  exemp- 
tion from  these  domestic  evils.  The  two  cases 
of  which  I  speak  are  similar,  although  there  was 
no  connection  between  them.  They  were  the 
marriages,  in  1857,  of  two  young  persons  belong- 
ing to  wealthy  families  of  New  York  and  Boston 
respectively.  Yielding  —  I  know  not  to  what 
infatuation,  they  eloped  with  men  of  low  condi- 
tion, whom  they  afterwards  married.  One  of 
them  chose  her  father's  coachman,  the  other  the 
coachman  of  a  friend  of  the  family.*  The  mar- 
riages were,  most  unfortunately,  legal  \  and  the 
parents,  although  totally  opposed  to  such  alli- 
ances, were  obliged  to  submit  to  these  calami- 
ties, which  they  could  not  avert.     Such  unions 

*  Boston  News  Letter,  Sept.  12,  1857;  and  Semi-weekly  Tribune, 
1857- 


48  MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA. 

are  branded  by  public  opinion  in  America ;  but 
could  not  the  mother  have  prevented  them  by 
a  more  vigilant  solicitude  ? 


VIII. 

Forced  Marriages.  —  Elopements. 

There  are  other  cases  where  social  propriety, 
though  not  so  rudely  shocked,  yet  has  claims 
which  the  parents  would  not  see  disregarded. 
One  cause  of  these  is  the  great  negligence  of 
mothers  in  allowing  their  daughters  to  remain 
alone  with  some  teacher  of  accomplishments, — 
confidence  being  reposed  in  the  latter,  not  in 
view  of  his  character,  but  from  the  art  which  he 
teaches*;  and,  moreover,  it  must  be  said,  in 
order  to  escape  an  hour  of  monotonous  surveil- 
lance. In  this  intimate  intercourse,  where  the 
teacher  seeks  to  awaken  in  his  pupil  the  sense 
of  the  beautiful,  to  develop  her  taste,  her  nat- 
ural talent,  it  is  so  easy  to  make  an  indirect 
appeal  to  the  heart,  to  vanity,  or  to  weaknesses 
of  any  kind  !  The  language  which  gives  to  the 
art  itself  a  seductive  fascination,  and  which  he 
uses  as  no  other,  acts  as  a  dissolvent  upon  the 
purity  of  the  scholar,  and  sometimes  leads  her 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  49 

into  error.  In  such  case,  as  whenever  there  is 
too  great  clashing,  the  parents  set  themselves 
in  opposition  to  their  daughter,  nearly  always 
too  late,  however  j  and,  if  this  resistance  does 
not  soon  cease,  an  elopement  follows. 

This  sort  of  scandal  is  rare,  but  not  perhaps 
sufficiently  so,  —  proof  of  which  may  be  found 
in  the  newspapers  of  every  State.  One  of  these 
has  said,  "  The  mania  for  elopements  has  become 
intermittent,  —  sometimes,  like  a  passing  epi- 
demic, there  seeming  to  be  seasons  when  it  is 
more  severe." 

The  regretable  fact  is,  however,  that  often 
there  is  no  real  pretext  for  these  elopements. 
Sometimes  only  a  little  more  forbearance,  a 
little  more  entreaty,  is  needed  to  obtain  the  con- 
sent of  the  parents.  A  refusal  is  not  waited  for, 
a  request  for  assent  is  not  even  hazarded,  and 
the  elopement  takes  place.  It  is  an  eccentricity 
which  seems  to  give  character  to  the  young  girl 
who  yields  to  it,  and  to  make  her  the  fashion. 
In  this  commonplace  life,  where  each  day  is  like 
the  one  which  has  passed  and  the  one  to  suc- 
ceed, and  where  amusements  are  few,  we  can 
imagine  some  natures  would  feel  they  might  live 
better  by  shaking  off  this  oppressive  atmosphere 
which  surrounds  them,  by  soaring  up  into  regions 
inaccessible  to  the  vulgar,  where  they  may  bios- 


50  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

som  out ;  but,  from  whence,  they  quickly  fall  back 
into  prosaic  reality.  In  all  this,  there  is  no  room 
for  affection  or  freedom  of  action.  It  is  a  mere 
whim,  a  caprice,  which  has  sacrificed  honor,  the 
quiet  of  the  family  circle,  and  the  whole  future, 
where  a  divorce  often  looms  in  the  horizon. 

As  opinion  has  not  the  power  to  effectually 
influence  these  habits,  minds  even  the  most 
pure  seem  to  become  habituated  to  regarding 
such  occurrences  mentioned  as  the  simple  acci- 
dents of  life,  which  time  will  perhaps  some  day 
explain.  It  is  chance  which  finally  decides  the 
morality  of  the  act.  There  is  a  story  of  a  young 
lady,  well  brought  up,  and  of  excellent  family, 
whose  sister  had  eloped  with  a  wealthy  gentle- 
man. The  elopement  was  a  complete  success  ; 
and  marriage  following  it  was  some  consolation 
for  the  parents.  As  soon  as  the  young  sister 
heard  this  good  news,  she  went  to  tell  it  to  a 
lady  of  her  acquaintance  as  a  fortunate  circum- 
stance ;  because  it  would  make  good  a  position 
which  had  been  compromised.  The  lady  re- 
marked, that  the  result  was  a  matter  for  congrat- 
ulation, especially  as  the  family  and  fortune  of 
the  husband  seemed  to  be  suitable.  "  See,"  she 
added,  "the  danger  of  such  situations."  —  "Ah! 
yes,"  replied  the  young  girl ;  "  it  does  not  always 
turn  out  so  well !  " 


MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA.  51 

What  shocking  naivete  / 

I  hasten  to  say  that  these  eccentricities  very 
rarely  occur  in  the  old  families  where  we  find 
good  principles  inculcated  by  the  mother  in  her 
children,  and  which  they  hold  as  a  precious 
heritage.  But,  in  this  country  of  marvels,  so 
many  new  fortunes  are  suddenly  made,  that  a 
vast  field  is  open  to  all  sorts  of  irregularities, 
even  to  those  which  should  last  cross  the 
threshold  of  the  home.  Moreover,  the  foreign 
element  which  is  gradually  insinuating  itself 
into  American  society  does  not  contribute  to 
refine  it :  quite  the  contrary ;  and,  if  we  may  be- 
lieve true  and  unprejudiced  people,  the  nation 
has  only  swerved  from  the  course  which  it  held 
during  the  most  brilliant  period  of  its  history, 
since  foreign  immigration  has  become  so  im- 
mense as  to  modify  its  civil  and  political  condi- 
tion. 

IX. 

Aristocratic  Tendencies. 

In  opposition  to  these  ill-assorted  unions, 
which  avowedly  shock  social  propriety,  must  be 
mentioned  one  of  the  characteristic  traits  of  the 
marrying  disposition    of  the   young  American 


52  MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA. 

girl.  Her  greatest  ambition  is  to  espouse  a 
man  with  a  title.  It  is  a  weakness  which  affects 
all  classes,  and  to  which  everything  is  sacrificed. 
An  European  having  a  noble  title,  doubtful  per- 
haps, may  go  to  the  United  States,  and,  no  mat- 
ter how  little  recommended,  can  be  sure  of 
marrying  wealth,  after  a  short  stay.  It  is  sur- 
prising to  see  the  number  of  aristocratic  buds, 
and  they  are  not  always  the  best,  on  this  repub- 
lican shoot. 

There  are,  undoubtedly,  men  of  talent  able 
to  uphold  by  their  personal  qualities  the  title 
they  have  received  from  their  ancestors,  and 
nothing  is  more  praiseworthy  than  to  seek  their 
alliance.  That,  however,  is  not  generally  the 
first  thought  of  the  American  girl.  The  title 
is  what  she  aspires  to ;  all  else  is  of  secondary 
importance.  Place  before  her  two  men,  one  of 
whom  has  but  his  noble  title ;  and  the  other  a 
man  distinguished  in  science,  in  letters,  or  in 
business,  —  there  will  be  no  doubt  of  the  young 
American's  choice.  Her  eyes  are  fixed  before- 
hand on  the  wedding  cards,  where  her  title  of 
baroness,  countess,  or  marquise  will  be  spread 
out  for  the  first  time  in  large  letters.  Her  very 
visiting  cards  will  pay  her  homage  each  day; 
moreover,  to  hear  herself  announced  in  salons 
as  a  lady  of  rank  will  be  a  melody  delicately 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  53 

flattering  to  her  vanity.  And  what  renders  it 
more  piquant  is  that  her  friends  will  congratu- 
late themselves  on  the  union  as  a  conquest 
made  by  their  little  circle,  which  will  receive  its 
share  of  the  ennoblement.  We  shall  not  find 
here  the  solid  basis  of  a  democracy. 


X. 

The  Law  Favoring  Fraud. 

We  have  seen  how  improvident  the  law  is 
respecting  guaranties  for  maintaining  the  true 
character  of  marriage,  causing  the  community  to 
give  place  to  the  individual,  instead  of  combin- 
ing these  two  interests  for  mutual  advantage. 
But  a  crime  committed  in  New  York  in  1857 
has  rendered  this  truth  prominent,  by  proving 
not  only  that  the  law  is  improvident,  but  that  it 
is  even  an  accomplice  in  great  crimes.  These 
are  the  principal  facts  of  the  case  : 

A  doctor  by  the  name  of  Burdell  lived  in  a 
house  belonging  to  him,  in  New  York,  a  few 
steps  only  from  the  most  frequented  thorough- 
fare. His  rooms  were  on  the  ground  floor. 
On  the  next  story  lived  a  woman  by  the  name 
of  Cunningham,  with  whom  it  was  claimed  Bur- 


54  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

dell  had  had  a  liaison.  Several  persons  were  in 
the  habit  of  visiting  her,  especially  a  man 
named  Eckel,  who  was  supposed  to  have  re- 
placed Burdell  in  his  intimacy.  She  had  eagerly 
and  repeatedly  urged  the  doctor  to  marry  her, 
but  he  had  always  refused.  Meantime  it  was 
said,  that,  as  he  was  worth  sixty  or  eighty  thou- 
sand dollars,*  this  woman  Cunningham  had 
formed  the  design  of  murdering  him,  and, 
probably,  securing  the  right  of  succession.  As 
all  which  relates  to  the  murder  was  not  legally 
proved,  I  can  only  repeat  the  facts  as  charged 
by  the  accusation. 

According  to  the  accusation,  the  woman  Cun- 
ningham went  out  one  evening  with  a  man,  sup- 
posed to  be  Eckel,  to  the  house  of  quite  an 
obscure  Protestant  minister,  whom  neither  of 
them  knew.  The  man  had  a  false  beard,  the 
better  to  disguise  himself;  he  gave  his  name  as 
Burdell ;  and  they  both  requested  to  be  united 
in  marriage.  No  other  witness  was  present, 
except  a  young  daughter  of  the  Cunningham 
woman.  The  minister,  without  ascertaining  the 
identity  of  the  parties,  married  them  in  a  few 
minutes,  under  the  names  which  were  told  him. 
No  marriage  contract  was  drawn  up,  and  thus 
no  signatures  given ;  in  a  word,  no  trace 
remained  of  this   guilty  deed,  except  the  cer- 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  55 

tificate  which  the  pretended  married  ones  made 
the  complaisant  minister  give  them,  attesting 
the  performance  of  the  ceremony.  All  this 
remained  a  secret  in  the  house. 

Two  or  three  months  afterwards,  the  City  of 
New  York  was  startled,  as  by  a  clap  of  thunder, 
at  the  news  of  the  assassination  of  Burdell  in 
his  study,  one  night  in  the  month  of  January. 
Upon  the  first  suspicion,  Eckel  and  the  woman 
Cunninghan  were  arrested,  and  kept  in  secret 
confinement  j  the  proper  investigations  were 
instituted  ;  but  no  light  was  thrown  upon  the 
affair,  and  they  were  released  and  discharged. 

If  matters  had  rested  here,  the  intent  of  the 
crime  would  not  have  been  seen ;  for  the  mar- 
riage would,  at  the  most,  have  created  a  right 
of  dower  for  this  woman  Cunningham,  which 
was  relatively  of  small  importance.  But  the 
marriage  was  necessary,  in  order  to  feign  a 
grossesse  which  would  give  an  heir  to  the  unfor- 
tunate Burdell.  In  reality,  a  grossesse  was 
announced,  and  a  false  accouclwnent  prepared. 
But,  thanks  to  skilfully  taken  measures,  the 
falseness  of  the  grossesse  and  accouchei7ie?it  were 
established  and  legally  proved ;  so  that  the  crime 
committed  upon  Burdell  remained  without  result 
for  its  presumed  authors. 

Let  us  suppose,  for  a  moment,  that  marriage 


56  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

in  America  was  surrounded  by  the  same  for- 
malities and  requirements  as  in  France,  then 
certainly  this  assassination  would  have  been 
prevented.  If  there  had  been  a  required  pub- 
lication of  the  banns  in  an  official  bureau  of  the 
parish  ;  if  the  identity  of  the  parties  must  have 
been  assured  ;  if  the  ceremony  must  have  been 
authenticated  by  the  presence  of  witnesses  who 
were  of  age  and  residents ;  if  its  performance 
had  been  required  during  the  day,  and  not  at 
night,  in  a  register's  office ;  if  the  signatures  of 
the  parties  and  the  witnesses  were  to  have  been 
taken,  and  the  marriage  contract  recorded  in 
the  archives ;  had  all  this  been  required,  even 
the  thought  itself  of  the  crime  would  not  have 
arisen  in  the  mind  of  whoever  committed  it. 


XI. 

Situation  of  the  American  Wife.  —  Revolt  against  the  Laws  of  Marriage. 

Not  only  the  law  which  regulates  the  forma- 
tion of  marriage  is  faulty,  but  also  that  which 
governs  the  relations  and  interests  of  the  mar- 
ried between  themselves.  It  is  difficult  to 
explain  the  wife's  passing  suddenly  and  without 
transition  from  a  state  of  absolute  independence 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  57 

to  one  of  complete  dependence  on  her  husband, 
and  so  legally  incapacitated  for  civil  rights  as  to 
place  her  nearly  in  the  condition  of  minors,  and 
those  declared  incapable  of  directing  their  own 
affairs.  It  is  insulting  the  intelligence  she  was 
supposed  to  possess  before  marriage.  We  shall 
see,  further  on,  what  the  civil  incapacities  are. 
This  antiquated  law  comes  from  England, 
whence  it  was  imported  into  the  first  colonies, 
and  has  there  been  preserved ;  as  if  with  old, 
worn-out  materials  a  new  community  could  be 
built  up,  whose  very  spirit  was  in  revolt  against 
the  causes  which  originated  it !  And  such  is 
the  force  of  precedent,  that  the  refinement  of 
civilization  has  produced  little,  if  any,  modifica- 
tion in  these  laws. 

The  following  are  some  of  the  most  offensive 
points  of  the  law  : 

i.  The  husband  has  ownership  of  all  the  per- 
sonal property  of  the  woman,  at  the  time  of 
marriage,  unless  special  reservation  has  been 
made  to  prevent  it. 

2.  The  married  woman  cannot  possess  any- 
thing in  her  own  name.  Her  property  stands 
in  the  name  of  her  husband,  or  in  the  hands  of 
trustees. 

3.  All  that  she  may  earn  by  her  industry 
belongs  to  her  husband. 

4.  She  cannot  make  a  will. 


58  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

5.  At  her  death,  her  husband  has  the  right  of 
possession  of  her  property  •  and  other  powers, 
greater  than  what  the  law  grants  her,  in  case,  of 
the  husband's  death,  etc.,  etc. 

The  excessive  privileges  granted  the  latter 
are  an  anomaly  in  a  democratic  country.  They 
cannot  be  justified  by  any  plausible  reasoning, 
except  the  force  of  tradition, — which  influences, 
more  than  we  think,  the  minds  even  of  the  most 
intelligent.  Although  some  of  the  States  have 
timidly  entered  upon  the  road  of  reform  in  this 
matter,  the  greater  number  oppose  an  invincible 
resistance  to  all  innovation.  Of  this  we  can 
judge  from  two  facts  which  I  will  now  relate. 

In  1857,  the  Legislature  of  Delaware  was 
engaged  with  a  motion  to  authorize  married 
women  holding  property  in  their  own  name, 
without  at  all  abridging  the  marital  power.  But 
the  proposition  was  vigorously  opposed,  and 
finally  defeated.  It  did  not,  it  will  be  noticed, 
do  anything  more  than  bring  the  married  woman 
into  civil  life,  without  giving  her  any  power  to 
make  over  property.  The  simple  idea  of  change, 
however,  prevented  this  just  demand. 

Here  is  another  example,  in  one  of  the  most 
advanced  and  intelligent  States  of  the  Union.* 

In  the  session  of  1857,  the  Legislature  of 

*  Vide  The  Boston  Post,  April  28,  1857. 


MARRIAGE   I*T   AMERICA.  59 

Massachusetts,  sitting  at  Boston,  was  occupied 
with  a  proposition,  the  object  of  which  was  to 
grant  a  widow  greater  rights  of  survivorship 
than  then  allowed  by  the  law,  so  as  to  place  her 
upon  nearly  an  equal  footing  with  her  husband, 
when  he  outlived  his  wife.  There  was  here  no 
excessive  right  or  privilege,  and  yet  this  propo- 
sal was  violently  opposed  and  defeated.  One 
of  the  senators  maintained  as  a  motive  for  his 
opposition,  that  wives  were  already  too  much 
inclined  to  disembarrass  themselves  of  their 
husbands,  without  our  seeking  to  give  more 
stimulus  to  this  desire.  The  senator  made 
allusion  to  certain  crimes  committed  a  short 
time  previously  by  wives  upon  their  husbands, 
—  crimes  which  were  imputed  to  a  desire  for 
succession. 

We  can  scarcely  conceive  such  reasons  having 
weight  with  a  legislative  body,  who  ought  to 
regard  things  from  a  higher  point  of  view.  Such 
crimes  are  only  the  very  rarest  exceptions.  And 
the  charge  cannot  be  exclusively  brought  against 
women,  for  they  are  generally  less  open  to  con- 
siderations of  interest  than  men. 

This  legislative  opposition  to  claims,  just  and 
moderate,  excites  a  desire  for  reform ;  and  calls 
forth  rebellion  against,  and  contempt  for,  the 
law. 


60  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

For  some  years  past,  there  has  been  growing 
up  in  the  United  States  a  phalanx  of  strong- 
minded  women,  who  hold  that  woman  is  as 
trodden  down  there  as  in  England;  and  who 
want  to  throw  off  this  yoke,  and  obtain  impor- 
tant changes  of  the  law.  To  gain  their  ends, 
they  keep  up  discussion,  hold  meetings,  write 
in  the  papers,  send  petitions,  even  deputations, 
to  the  legislatures.  They  appear  before  the 
committees,  and  warmly  defend  the  claims  for 
whose  success  they  hope.  Up  to  the  present 
time,  their  radical  attempts  have  been  defeated ; 
but  we  may  be  assured,  that,  so  long  as  they  do 
not  obtain  some  signal  result,  the  agitation  will 
continue.  A  single  instance  will  show  how  far 
the  fanaticism  of  these  reformers  of  the  weaker 
sex  has  gone. 

One  of  them,  a  very  intelligent  woman,  Miss 
Lucy  Stone,  well  known  in  Abolition  circles, 
married  in  May,  1855,  in  Massachusetts.  She 
espoused  one  of  the  leaders  of  this  party.  The 
marriage  was  performed  by  the  Rev.  T.  W.  Hig- 
ginson,  of  Worcester.  In  the  contract,  those 
making  it  protest  against  the  laws  of  the  State 
concerning  marriage.  This  very  curious  pro- 
testation is  thus  expressed  : # 

*  New  York  Tribune,  Boston  Traveller,  May  4,  I855. 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  61 

"  While  we  acknowledge  our  mutual  affection,  by  pub- 
licly assuming  the  sacred  relationship  of  husband  and 
wife,  yet,  in  justice  to  ourselves  and  a  great  principle,  we 
deem  it  a  duty  to  declare,  that  this  act  on  our  part  implies 
no  sanction  of,  or  promise  of  voluntary  obedience  to,  such 
of  the  present  laws  of  marriage  as  refuse  to  recognize  the 
wife  as  an  independent  rational  being,  while  they  confer 
upon  the  husband  an  injurious  and  unnatural  superiority, 
investing  him  with  legal  powers  which  no  honorable  man 
would  exercise,  and  which  no  man  should  possess.  We 
protest  especially  against  the  laws  which  give  to  the  hus- 
band— 

"  i.  The  custody  of  the  wife's  person. 

"  2.  The  exclusive  control  and  guardianship  of  their 
children. 

"3.  The  sole  ownership  of  her  personal,  and  use  of  her 
real  estate,  unless  previously  settled  upon  her  ;  or  placed 
in  the  hands  of  trustees,  as  in  the  case  of  minors,  lunatics, 
and  idiots. 

"  4.  The  absolute  right  in  the  product  of  her  industry. 

"  5.  Also,  against  laws  which  give  to  the  widower  so 
much  larger  and  more  permanent  an  interest  in  the  pro- 
perty of  his  deceased  wife  than  they  give  to  the  widow  in 
that  of  her  deceased  husband. 

"  6.  Finally,  against  the  whole  system  by  which  '  the 
legal  existence  of  the  wife  is  suspended  during  marriage,' 
so  that  in  most  States  she  neither  has  a  legal  part  in  the 
choice  of  her  residence,  nor  can  she  make  a  will,  nor  sue 
or  be  sued  in  her  own  name,  nor  inherit  property. 

"  We  believe  that  personal  independence  and  equal 
human  rights  can  never  be  forfeited,  except  for  crime ; 
that  marriage  should  be  an  equal  and  permanent  partner- 
ship, and  so  recognized  by  law  ;  that,  until  it  is  recognized, 


62  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

married  partners  should  provide  against  the  radical  injus- 
tice of  present  laws,  by  every  means  in  their  power. 

"  We  believe,  that,  when  domestic  difficulties  arise,  no 
appeal  should  be  made  to  existing  tribunals  ;  but  all  diffi- 
culties should  be  submitted  to  the  equitable  adjustment 
of  arbitrators,  mutually  chosen.  Thus,  reverencing  law, 
we  enter  our  earnest  protest  against  rules  and  customs 
which  are  unworthy  of  the  name,  since  they  violate  jus- 
tice,—  the  essence  of  all  law." 


XII. 

Protestation  against  the  Law,  by  the  Pastor  who  performs  the  Cere- 
mony. 

Setting  aside  the  protestation  which  I  have 
just  transcribed,  and  taking  into  view  only  the 
grievances  enumerated,  one  cannot  but  admit, 
that  there  are  several  which  the  Legislatures  of 
all  the  States  ought  to  redress,  as  being  more 
in  harmony  with  the  spirit  of  the  times,  and 
also  the  customs  of  society  in  the  United  States. 
But  what  we  cannot  favor  is  the  protestation 
itself.  I  know  that  this  sort  of  protest  is  quite 
rare  and  very  eccentric;  but  it  has  and  will 
have  its  imitators,  especially  in  the  Eastern 
States,  where  the  desire  for  reform  is  almost  an 
endemic  malady.  As  a  voucher  for  the  exten- 
sion of  this  spirit  of  resistance  to  the  law,  we 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  63 

have  a  letter  to  an  editor  of  a  newspaper,  by 
the  same  minister  who  performed  the  marriage 
of  Miss  Stone,  and  which  was  published  in  a 
journal  called  the  "Worcester  Spy,"  edited  in 
Massachusetts.     This  is  the  text :  * 

"  I  never  perform  the  marriage  ceremony,  without  a 
renewed  sense  of  the  iniquity  of  our  present  system  of 
laws  in  respect  to  marriage,  —  a  system  by  which  man 
and  wife  are  one,  and  that  one  is  the  husband.  It  was 
with  my  hearty  concurrence,  therefore,  that  the  following 
protest  was  read  and  signed,  as  a  part  of  the  nuptial  cere- 
mony ;  and  I  send  it  to  you  that  others  may  be  induced 
to  do  likewise,    t.  w.  h." 

We  cannot  here  in  France  understand  this 
open  opposition  to  the  law,  encouraged  and 
sanctioned  by  the  very  person  whose  mission  is 
to  administer  and  defend  it.  We  have  too 
much  respect  for  its  authority  not  to  obey  it,  till 
it  is  revoked.  In  the  United  States,  individual 
freedom  acts  differently,  and  revolt  against  the 
law  is  not  rare.  Can  we  not  say,  with  Lord 
Carlisle,  "America  is  anarchy  and  a  consta- 
ble "  ? 

*  Boston  Traveller  and  New  York  Tribune,  May  4,  1855. 


C4  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

XIII. 

Considerations  of  Inheritance.  —  The  Rights  of  Women. 

The  Americans,  while  adopting  the  Common 
Law  of  England,  as  the  basis  of  their  civil  law, 
have  yet  repudiated  some  provisions,  as  too 
opposed  to  the  spirit  of  their  political  institu- 
tions. Thus  they  have  abolished  the  rights  of 
primogeniture,  and  all  distinction  between  the 
children  of  the  two  sexes  relative  to  the  division 
of  the  inheritance  from  their  parents.  In  this 
respect,  the  American  woman  is  more  fortunate 
than  the  English,-receiving  an  equal  share  of 
the  paternal  estate  with  her  brothers. 

It  is  true  that  the  father  or  mother  has  the 
right  to  dispose  of  all  their  fortune  to  the  exclu- 
sion of  their  children,  or  of  openly  favoring  one 
to  the  injury  of  the  others,  in  unlimited  dispro- 
portion ;  but  public  opinion  is  so  opposed  to 
everything  of  this  kind,  that  it  rarely  happens 
that  parents  make  such  dispositions,  or  that  the 
child,  in  whose  favor  they  are  made,  takes 
advantage  of  them.  Would  it  not  be  better, 
when  a  law  is  in  opposition  to  public  opinion, 
to  sacrifice  it  to  the  latter,  rather  than  to  tempt 
human  weakness  to  take  advantage  of  it  ? 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  65 

But  there  is  a  dominant  idea  with  the  Ameri- 
cans, which  greatly  affects  the  force  of  these 
considerations.  The  lack  of  stability,  which  has 
till  now  prevented  many  fortunes  from  being 
built  up,  forces  every  one  to  see  that  he  must 
be  the  maker  of  his  own  position,  without  count- 
ing too  much  upon  the  resources  which  his 
parents  may  leave  him.  Inheritances,  that  in 
France  get  the  scandalous  title  of  les  esperances% 
are  in  the  United  States  entirely  consigned  to 
future  contingencies.  Hence,  few  idle  people 
are  seen  in  this  country.  Each  fills  his  own 
pocket,  and  appears  satisfied  in  so  doing.  It 
is  a  real  advantage  which  America  has  over 
France,  where  many  young  men  of  the  upper 
classes,  even  of  those  who  do  not  yet  count  a 
generation,  refuse  all  honorable  employment, 
and  spend  in  advance  their  family  patrimony  ; 
as  if  the  dial  hand  to  indicate  the  time  of  pos- 
session had  moved  too  slowly. 

We  see  from  what  has  preceded,  that,  if  the 
condition  of  the  American  woman  leaves  much 
to  be  desired  in  regard  to  her  married  position, 
this  is  not  the  case  as  respects  her  relation  to 
her  brothers,  with  whom  she  is  on  a  perfect 
footing  of  equality. 


66  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

XIV. 

The  Family  and  its  Deviations  in  the  North. 

Now  that  we  have  seen  how  marriage  is  con- 
tracted, there  remains  to  be  stated  what  mar- 
ried life  becomes. 

The  American,  more  especially  the  Yankee,* 
brought  up  in  the  bosom  of  the  family,  appre- 
ciates, while  still  young,  the  happiness  of  the 
domestic  circle ;  he  has  contracted  habits  of 
regularity,  which  wonderfully  adapt  him  to  wres- 
tle with  life.  He  recognizes  the  sanctity  of  the 
conjugal  tie,  early  takes  the  obligation  upon 
himself,  and  does  not  refuse  any  of  its  duties. 
Yet,  although  he  does  this,  his  wife  is  never  the 
confidante  of  his  intimate  and  real  thoughts. 
With  another,  the  heart  will  overflow  under 
grave  and  painful  circumstances  ;  at  home,  it  is 
hermetically  sealed.  Is  it  stoicism?  No:  he 
is  very  impressible,  and  has  little  resignation. 
Or  is  it  not  rather  a  mask,  with  which  he  covers 
a  real  trouble  that  he  would  not  have  suspected. 
His  natural  pride  allows  this  supposition.  Hav- 
ing the  greatest  respect,  in  other  things,  for  his 

*  This  word  Yankee  is  a  corruption  by  the  Indians  of  the  French 
word  A  nglais. 


MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA.  67 

wife,  he  considers  her  less  his  companion,  dur- 
ing prosperity  and  adversity,  than  as  the  pre- 
ceptor of  his  children,  and  the  one  whom  he 
loves  best.  He  does  not  fail  to  render  her 
marks  of  attachment,  during  the  short  time  that 
he  can  spare  from  the  affairs  of  the  commu- 
nity, of  the  parish,  of  the  county,  of  the  State, 
or  of  the  Union,  and,  most  of  all,  his  own  per- 
sonal business.  His  confidences  are  but  the 
flitting  incidents  of  his  life ;  and,  if  we  could 
read  his  thoughts,  there  would  always  be  found 
a  reserved  corner  for  all  kinds  of  speculations, 
—  even  in  those  moments  when  a  man  forgets 
himself. 

The  American  wife  is  generally  attached  to 
her  husband,  —  the  father  of  her  children.  She 
devotes  her  care  and  attention  to  him.  She  is 
faithful ;  that  is  to  say,  she  generally  keeps  the 
faith  she  has  sworn.  For  this  there  are  two 
causes  :  first  of  all,  principle ;  then  the  quiet 
life  she  is  so  often  oblige!  to  lead.  She  devotes 
herself,  above  all,  to  the  cares  of  the  house; 
and  the  task  is  hard  enough  in  a  country  where 
there  is  such  independence,  that  the  servant 
dismisses  the  master,  and  lets  caprice  get  the 
better  of  duty.  Moreover,  this  servant  being 
almost  always  Irish,  the  antagonism  of  race  is 
called  forth,  and  the  Celt  takes  a  secret  pleas- 


68  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

ure  in  obliging  his  American  master  to  take  his 
place,  by  quitting  him  abruptly. 

This  is  one  of  the  unpleasant  sides  of  domestic 
life,  which  tends  to  compromise  it,  and  cause  it 
to  lose  all  its  advantages.  And  thus,  to  escape 
all  these  vexations,  we  see  a  certain  number  of 
families  in  the  large  cities  installing  themselves 
in  the  hotels  or  boarding-houses, — veritable  car- 
avansaries, where  one  lives  somewhat  ptle-mele, 
with  the  appearance  of  luxury  and  show.  It  is 
a  great  trial  for  the  wife.  For,  relieved  of  all 
occupation,  she  forgets  the  domestic  life,  con- 
tracts bad  habits  of  thoughtlessness,  sometimes 
dangerous  liaisons ;  and  the  husband,  as  well  as 
children,  having  no  real  centre  for  reunion,  and 
separated  moreover  by  this  life  of  variety,  with- 
draw themselves,  with  different  purposes,  till 
there  is  nothing  left  of  the  domestic  circle  but 
the  name :  its  true  meaning  is  completely  lost. 
As  to  the  married  who  have  really  a  home,  their 
life  may  be  divided  iifto  two  parts :  the  one 
passed  during  the  winter  in  the  city  is  truly  the 
American  home  \  but,  in  summer,  things  have 
quite  another  aspect. 

A  desire  for  going  into  the  country  has  come 
into  vogue,  which  tends  to  completely  modify 
the  family,  nearly  in  the  same  way  I  have  just 
spoken  of.     At  the  commencement  of  summer, 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  69 

every  lady  wants  to  leave  the  city,  and  go  to  one 
of  the  numerous  and  immense  hotels  that  are  to 
be  found  at  the  seaside  or  the  Springs,  especially 
where  there  is  some  particular  attraction  for  vis- 
itors. Here  every  day  is  a  round  of  dissipation 
and  festivity.  Pride  and  folly  call  for  lavish 
expenditure.  It  is  the  "  Vanity  Fair  "  Thackeray 
describes.  This  gay  world,  which  renders  every 
one  constantly  conspicuous,  is  relished  all  the 
more  as  the  life  in  winter  has  been  triste  and 
monotonous.  The  husband  stays  in  the  city  to 
attend  to  his  business,  or  take  part  in  politics  ; 
and  does  not  visit  his  wife,  except  at  intervals, 
—  very  much  as  a  conservatory  act  to  prevent 
prescription.  The  children,  brought  up  in  the 
midst  of  all  this,  especially  the  young  girls,  can- 
not regard  life  seriously,  or  appreciate  the  idea 
of  duty.  Amusement  is  what  attracts  them  ; 
and,  in  this  general  excitement,  young  people 
busy  themselves  only  with  extravagance,  parties, 
and  flirtation.  The  young  men  easily  fall  into 
bad  habits,  the  most  frequent  of  which  is  drink- 


70  MARRIAGE   IN  AMERICA. 

XV. 

Domestic  Life  in  the  South. 

Home  life  in  the  South  is  modified  by  the 
service  being  performed  by  the  slaves,  whose 
sudden  quitting  is  not  feared.  There  is  no  need 
of  having  recourse  to  hotel  life  ;  and  yet,  the 
session  of  Congress,  and  the  sessions  of  the 
State  Legislatures,  induce  a  certain  number  of 
families  to  lead  this  life  of  ease,  which  relieves 
the  wife  of  all  care,  and  offers  occasions  for 
amusement  and  pleasure.  New  Orleans,  from 
its  climate  and  charming  society  ;  Washington, 
as  the  place  of  reunion  of  politicians  during  the 
session,  always  attract  many  visitors.  As  to  life 
in  summer,  it  is  an  universal  emigration,  ren- 
dered necessary  by  the  intensity  of  the  heat ; 
and  caused,  moreover,  by  the  desire  for  excite- 
ment, which  every  American  constantly  feels. 

The  domestic  habits  of  the  women  of  the 
South  are  generally  good ;  but  slavery,  increas- 
ing the  servants  of  both  sexes,  sometimes  exer- 
cises a  bad  influence  on  the  men,  which  educa- 
tion is  not  always  sufficient  to  control.  It  is  a 
bad  school  for  the  white  children,  who  live  in 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  71 

contact  with  degraded  servants.     This  associa- 
tion cannot  but  be  prejudicial. 


XVI. 

Emigration  into  the  Interior. — Dispersion  of  Families. 

One  important  fact  acts  upon  the  families  of 
the  North  like  those  of  the  South ;  and  it  will 
affect  for  a  long  time  to  come  certain  parts  of 
the  Union,  as  it  is  intimately  associated  with  the 
development  of  the  yet  unexplored  countries  of 
the  vast  American  continent.  Most  of  the 
States,  especially  those  which  compose  New 
England,  send  to  the  West,  each  year,  emi- 
grants taken  from  their  own  midst.  These  are 
generally  young  men  endowed  with  great  activ- 
ity, who,  not  finding  in  the  State  which  gave 
them  birth  the  means  of  comfortable  living,  and 
urged  on,  moreover,  by  ambition,  quit  the 
home  hearth,  and  go  to  try  their  fortune  at  a 
distance. 

When  this  emigration  appears  to  increase  ex- 
cessively, the  local  organs  of  public  opinion  bestir 
themselves  to  make  known  the  grievances  of  the 
community,  and  endeavor  to  check  the  depopu- 
lation,—  which   affects  all,   but   especially  the 


72  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

laboring  classes.  A  religious  journal,*  in  New 
York,  only  lately  showed  the  general  conse- 
quences of  this  interesting  fact,  stating  that  it 
greatly  affected  the  family,  religion,  the  sacred 
calling,  agriculture,  etc.,  —  in  fine,  all  which 
forms  the  foundation  of  the  social  edifice. 

I  shall  here  confine  myself  to  specifying  the 
object  of  these  complaints,  by  saying  that  the 
immediate  consequences  of  this  emigration 
are  the  scattering  of  the  members  of  the  same 
family,  and  the  consequent  loss  of  bons  tradi- 
tions ;  the  withdrawal  of  the  most  vigorous  and 
energetic  portion  of  the  population,  which  in 
course  of  time  must  involve  the  degeneracy  of 
the  race ;  the  great  disproportion  of  the  sexes 
which  occurs  locally,  and,  consequently,  an 
excess  of  unmarried  women ; .  and  the  neces- 
sity of  calling  for  European  emigration,  to  fill 
up  the  void,  and  give  labor  the  arms  which  it 
needs.  But  this  auxiliary  itself  is  not  without 
inconvenience  ;  for  its  action  may  some  day  dis- 
tort the  primitive  character  of  the  people.  Such 
are,  briefly,  the  principal  results  of  emigration 
to  the  interior ;  results  which,  according  to  cir- 
cumstances, may  act  as  most  powerful  dissolv- 
ents. 

*  The  New  York  Weekly  Examiner,  Jan.  22,  1857. 


MARRIAGE   IN  AMERICA.  73 

XVII. 

Education  of  the  American  Family. 

"What,  then,  is  needed,"  demanded  Napo- 
leon of  Mme.  Campan,  "  for  the  proper  educa- 
tion of  the  youths  of  France  ?  "  —  "  Mothers," 
she  replied. 

Where  shall  we  find  them  in  the  United 
States,  if  this  deplorably  restless  life  continues  ? 
It  is  not  enough  that  a  mother  attends  to  the 
physical  development  of  her  children,  —  that  is 
but  the  protection  of  maternity.  She  must  do 
more ;  she  must,  above  all,  watch  over  their 
instruction,  and,  as  far  as  possible,  herself  take 
part  in  their  education,  —  a  distinct  pathway  in 
the  work  of  life.  Education  will  consist  in 
opening  the  hearts  of  her  children  to  generous 
sentiment  and  elevated  thoughts,  teaching  them 
to  practise  religion,  and,  above  all,  to  compre- 
hend the  spirit  which  vivifies  its  practice.  She 
is  to  inculcate  the  sense  of  duty,  resignation, 
sacrifice  ;  in  a  word,  all  which  strongly  fortifies 
man,  by  forcing  him  to  reflect,  and  rely  upon 
himself,  in  order  to  struggle  successfully  with 
the  trials  cf  life. 

If  you  ask  instructors,  they  will  reply  that  the 


74  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

father  of  the  family  takes  little  part  in  the  edu- 
cation of  his  children,  —  he  has  not  the  leisure. 
As  to  the  mother,  her  will  is  easily  overcome 
by  theirs,  —  either  because  she  brings  but  a 
distracted  attention  to  the  discharge  of  her 
duty,  or  that  the  independence  which  her  chil- 
dren so  readily  acquire  opposes  an  invincible 
obstacle.  Teachers  thereby  lose  their  true,  point 
d'appui :  their  authority  is  but  a  phantom  ;  for, 
so  soon  as  discipline  is  maintained,  or  severity 
exercised,  they  at  once  lose  their  pupil. 

I  do  not  mean  here  to  speak  of  University 
instruction,  which  belongs  in  another  order  of 
ideas,  and  applies  only  to  a  limited  number  of 
young  men,  in  comparison  with  the  mass. 

As  respects  primary  and  secondary  educa- 
tion, the  average  age  at  which  the  pupils  quit 
their  studies,  is  from  twelve  to  fourteen  years. 
What  can  they  know  at  that  age ;  and  what 
becomes  of  them  on  leaving  school  ?  They  go 
into  a  lawyer's  or  merchant's  office,  or  into  busi- 
ness. They  soon  receive  a  salary  of  four  or  six 
hundred  dollars,  and  from  this  time  become 
independent  of  parental  control.  It  is  one  of 
the  traits  of  new  manners.  What  will  society 
gain  by  this  ?  Fortunately,  there  are  a  goodly 
number  of  families  whom  one  portion  of  these 
irregularities  has  not  as  yet  affected,  and  who 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  75 

will  not  recognize  themselves  in  the  sketch  which 
I  have  above  made.  But  the  evil  is  on  the 
increase  ;  and,  as  the  ideas  of  business,  money, 
and  haste  predominate,  the  danger  is  serious. 

The  education  of  young  girls  appears  to  be 
more  carefully  attended  to,  either  because 
mothers  feel  more  competent  to  watch  over  it, 
or  that  the  lady  teachers,  in  charge  of  their 
studies,  know  how  to  render  these  more  attrac- 
tive. And  on  this  point  it  may  be  permitted  me 
to  pay  a  just  tribute  of  eulogium  to  the  French 
ladies  who  have  established  schools  in  the  Uni- 
ted States.  Their  methods  of  teaching  seem  to 
me  superior  to  those  of  the  Americans,  and 
they  have,  moreover,  the  art  of  giving  a  tone  of 
good  breeding  to  the  young  girls  intrusted  to 
their  care  which  makes  itself  appreciated.  The 
ladies  of  New  York,  Philadelphia,  Baltimore, 
New  Orleans,  and  other  cities*  who  have  been 
educated  in  this  school,  or  animated  by  it,  have 
something  in  their  manners  which  reveals  the 
source  from  which  they  are  derived. 

Ideas  in  America  do  not  yet  seem  to  be  suffi- 
ciently settled  in  reference  to  the  range  of 
women's  education.  This  is  often  superficial ; 
at  other  times  it  embraces  the  Latin  language, 
mathematics,  trigonometry,  algebra,  etc.  I 
have  sometimes  asked  the  Principals  of  schools 


76  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

why  the  exact  sciences  were  brought  into  this 
range  of  studies,  and  the  reply  has  generally 
been,  that  it  was  rather  with  the  intention  of 
balancing  the  natural  frivolity  of  the  girl  than 
with  the  idea  of  increasing  the  amount  of  her 
knowledge.  I  can  hardly  believe  in  the  success 
of  this  correction,  however  useful  it  may  be  to 
make  a  trial  of  it.  That  which  is  only  transient, 
particularly  in  dry  matters,  leaves  no  durable 
impression ;  and  we  run  the  risk  of  spoiling 
what  is  natural,  in  attempting  to  mould  it. 


XVIII. 

•        Reforms  in  the  Condition  of  the  American  Woman. 

Although  the  education  of  women  is  gene- 
rally kept  within  its  proper  limits,  yet  there  are 
female  reformers  whose  ambitious  aspirations 
would  extend  its  field  indefinitely.  We  have 
seen  above,  that  there  are  some  women  in  the 
United  States  who  are  tormented  with  the 
desire  of  reform  in  all  that  respects  their  sex, 
and  who  wish  to  exercise  the  same  civil,  and 
even  the  same  political,  rights  as  the  men  of 
their  country.  They  wish  to  be  American  citi- 
zens, with  the  privilege  of  voting  at  elections, 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  77 

becoming  members  of  the  Legisl aturer appointed 
to  public  offices,  and  I  know  not  what,  —  per- 
haps, become  President  of  the  Union  !  Others, 
less  ambitious,  only  demand  access  to  the  public 
lectures  of  the  schools  of  law,  of  medicine,  and 
of  theology,  with  the  right  of  taking  diplomas 
and  practising  as  advocates,  physicians,  and 
ministers  of  religion. 

We  may  rest  assured,  that  the  majority  of 
these  demands,  which  are  exorbitant,  will  meet 
with  an  invincible  resistance  each  and  every 
time  they  are  put  fortl^  When  more  modest, 
and  more  in  unison  with  our  social  condition, 
the  claims  of  women  no  doubt  will  not  fail  to 
meet  with  the  reception  due  to  them  in  the  Leg- 
islatures ;  as,  in  the  opinion  of  enlightened 
men,  no  reason  exists  for  refusing  woman  now- 
adays such  civil  rights  as  she  enjoys  in  France. 

We  see  the  advance  which  reform  has  already 
made  outside  of  the  restricted  circle  of  which  I 
have  spoken.  These  are  so  many  truths  which 
creep  into  society,  awaiting  but  the  majority,  to 
make  them  held  sacred  as  principles. 


78  MARRIAGE  IN   AMERICA. 

XIX. 

The  Female  Physician. 

In  the  professional  path,  women  have  not  met 
with  an  equal  success  in  contending  with  public 
opinion,  or  with,  what  they  call,  prejudice.  Up 
to  the  present  time,  at  least,  they  have  not  suc- 
ceeded in  forcing  their  way  into  the  schools  of 
law,  and  being  admitted  to  the  bar,  in  spite 
of  the  efforts  they  have  put  forth  on  various 
sides  to  accomplish  this  important  result.  But 
failure  to-day  does  not  insure  it  to-morrow ;  and 
it  may  be  that  in  one  of  the  three  and  thirty 
States,  especially  the  new  ones,  there  may  be 
found  a  place  where  some  men,  fond  of  change, 
will  wish  to  try  this.  And  who  knows  if  the 
New  World  is  not  destined  to  produce,  I  will 
not  say  a  Demosthenes,  but  a  female  Cicero  ? 

As  respects  medicine,  the  attempts  have  been 
more  fortunate,  although  here  there  has  been  but 
partial  success,  —  yet  quite  encouraging.  Thus 
there  has  been  formed  in  Boston  a  special  med- 
ical school  for  women,  and  another  in  Philadel- 
phia. The  one  at  Boston  has  received  support 
from  the  Legislature  and  the  citizens.  The  one 
at  Philadelphia  is  only  sustained  by  subscrip 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  iV 

tions  from  the  admirers  of  this  novelty.  Besides 
this,  the  medical  schools  of  Syracuse,  N.  Y., 
and  of  Cincinnati,  Ohio,  admit  female  students 
to  the  regular  lectures  of  these  institutions.  I 
would  add  that  a  certain  number  of  women  have 
taken  their  diplomas,  and  practise  medicine  in 
many  parts  of  the  Union. 

These  results,  limited  as  they  are,  give  good 
omen  for  the  future,  if  the  women  who  under- 
take this  career  only  commence  with  a  solid 
instruction  as  a  foundation,  and  do  not  hasten 
to  begin  practice  before  having  acquired  in  the 
hospitals  the  experience  which  alone  can  com- 
mand for  them  a  legitimate  and  lasting  success. 

Moreover,  medicine  is  the  only  —  at  the  same 
time,  scientific  and  practical  — branch,  where  un- 
prejudiced minds  can  admit  the  co-operation  of 
females.  There  are  many  circumstances  where 
the  physical  sufferings  of  women  would  claim,  as 
their  first  confidants,  persons  of  their  own  sex. 
There  are  ills  which  the  female  from  modesty 
reluctantly  confides  to  a  physician.  She  suffers 
a  long  time  before  doing  this  ;  and  sometimes, 
when  she  has  become  resigned,  it  is  too  late. 
If,  on  the  contrary,  she  could  at  once  address  a 
woman  of  professional  experience,  she  might 
have  found  a  relief  for  the  evils  which  care  in 
season  would  have  remedied. 


80  MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA. 

These  reasons  are  not,  however,  sufficiently 
conclusive  for  the  mind  of  the  majority  \  and 
the  best  way  is  to  await  the  experiment  com- 
menced, for  proofs  of  the  success  of  the  trial. 


It  seems  in  place  here,  as  several  years  have  elapsed  since 
the  establishment  of  these  schools,  to  quote  some  extracts  from  a 
letter  to  the  "  Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,"  Sept.  27,  1866, 
by  Professor  H.  R.  Storer,  who  says :  "  On  the  one  hand,  I  have 
desired  to  do  what  I  personally  could  towards  the  real  enfran- 
chisement of  women  ;  and,  on  the  other,  I  have  thought  that,  by  ele- 
vating the  few  women  who  might  be  better  educated  than  the  mass  of 
those  of  their  sex  assuming  medical  honors  and  responsibilities  and 
masculine  appellations,  our  profession  might  be  purged,  to  a  certain 
extent  at  least,  of  many  claimants  utterly  unfitted  for  its  membership. 
...  It  is  sufficient  for  me  to  say,  that,  despite  certain  exceptional  cases 
upon  which  so  much  stress  has  been  laid,  exceptions  in  every 
sense  of  the  word,  I  think  that  the  experiment  has  been  a  failure 
and  that,  were  there  no  other  reason  than  for  a  physiological  one, 
perfectly  patent,  though  its  importance  has  been  so  much  lost  sight  of, 
women  can  never,  as  a  class,  become  so  competent,  safe",  and  relia- 
ble practitioners,  no  matter  what  their  zeal  or  opportunities  for  pupil 
age."  After  speaking  in  commendation  of  one  or  two  female  medical 
practitioners,  Dr.  Storer  says  :  "  Such  are,  however,  at  best,  but  very 
exceptional  cases ;  and  I  am  driven  back  to  my  old  belief,  —  the  same 
that  is  entertained  by  the  mass  of  mankind,  —  that,  in  claiming  this 
especial  work  of  medicine,  women  have  mistaken  their  calling;  a 
belief  that,  contrary  to  assumptions  that  have  been  made  by  certain 
interested  parties,  I  have  found  to  be  generally  held  by  ladies  of  true 
refinement  and  delicacy,  and  by  the  majority  of  female  patients,  no 
matter  what  their  station  in  life."  —  Note  by  Translator. 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  81 

XX. 

Women  as  Ministers  of  Religion. 

If  there  are  women  who  believe  themselves 
called  upon  in  professional  life  to  relieve  phys- 
ical evils,  how  much  greater  is  the  number  of 
those  who  consider  themselves  as  still  better 
endowed  to  afford  the  mind  soothing  consola- 
tion, so  necessary  in  this  harassing  and  vexa- 
tious life,  where  man  is  —  if  I  may  so  express 
myself —  beside  himself,  and  without  a  moment 
for  holy  meditation. 

Without  denying  any  of  the  gifts  which  God 
has  liberally  distributed  to  woman,  may  we  not 
say  that  the  consolations  of  the  spirit  are  of 
various  natures,  and  that  the  field  reserved  for 
her  in  this  is  limited.  All  within  the  domain  of 
religion  claims  a  freedom  from  wordly  passions, 
without  which  the  soul  cannot  be  elevated ; 
and  our  organization  is  not  so  immaterial  that 
the  choice  of  a  mediator  between  God  and 
ourselves  can  be  a  matter  of  indifference. 

May  we  not  fear  that  in  this  forlorn  state, 
when  the  soul  has  no  secrets,  and  confidences 
are  expressed  with  tears,  —  man  may  be  misled, 
having  only  as  guide  a  female  preceptor;  and 


82  MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA. 

the  creature  sometimes,  perhaps,  rather  forget 
the  Creator? 

I  do  not  know  whether  the  American  female 
reformers  have  thought  over  these  problems,  and 
others  which  I  refrain  from  following  out.  I  do 
not  know  what  solution  they  would  give  them  ; 
but,  according  to  all  appearance,  that  which 
would  cause  me  to  doubt  has  ceased  to  be  an 
objection  for  them,  since  their  ambition  has  car- 
ried them  so  far  as  to  desire  to  minister  religion. 
It  seems,  their  attempts  in  this  direction  have 
not  been  without  some  success.  And  a  remark- 
able fact  is,  that  they  have  not  gained  access  to 
one  of  the  new  sects  which  spring  up  so  easily 
in  the  United  States,  but  into  a  denomination 
already  quite  old,  renowned  for  its  austerity,  and 
its  attachment  to  old  traditions, —  I  mean  the 
Presbyterians.  This,  at  least,  is  what  occurred 
in  the  House  of  Representatives  during  the 
session  of  1856-1857  * 

Each  year  the  House,  at  the  commencement 
of  its  session,  chooses  by  ballot  the  chaplain 
who  performs  the  religious  service.  In  one  of 
the  preparatory  sittings  of  which  I  speak,  the 
names  of  various  ministers  were  proposed  to  the 
assembly  ;  and  amongst  the  number  figured  that 

*  Richmond  Whig,  Jan.  7,  1857. 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  83 

of  Miss  Antoinette  L.  Brown,  a  ministress  of 
the  Presbyterian  denomination.  At  the  reading 
of  this  name,  a  member  arose  and  made  a  mo- 
tion of  order,  asking  if  there  was  any  precedent 
for  nominating  a  woman  for  chaplain. 

The  chairman  replied  that  it  was  for  the  House 
to  decide.  Another  member  formally  opposed 
the  nomination  of  a  female  candidate,  saying, 
"  that  Saint  Paul  had  ordained  that  women 
should  preserve  silence  in  the  church,  and  thus 
it  would  be  a  neglect  of  this  great  apostle's 
maxims  to  choose  one  for  chaplain." 

This  spirited  a-propos  cut  short  all  debate. 
The  vote  was  proceeded  with  without  discussion, 
and  the  feminine  candidate  rejected  on  principle. 

It  is  a  fact  that  women  have  been  invested 
with  sacred  office  in  the  Presbyterian  denomina- 
tion, which  presupposes  theological  studies,  if 
not  at  the  seminary,  at  least  with  ministers 
of  this  sect*  According  to  all  appearances, 
these  occurrences  are  rather  rare.  But  who  can 
say  when  they  will  cease  in  a  country  where  it 
is  so  loudly  asserted,  that  all  the  problems  of  life 
have  been  wrongly  studied,  and  that  they  must 
be  solved  again.  It  is  needless  to  say  that 
Catholicism  opposes  these  sort  of  novelties  with 

*  See  Appendix,  No.  i. 


84  MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA. 

an  energy  which  results  from  its  fundamental 
principles. 

XXL 

The  desirable  Role  for  the  American  Woman. 

But,  if  there  are  fields  where  the  ambition  of 
some  women  mislead  them,  there  is  a  much 
more  natural  object  which  they  should  seek  to 
attain  ;  for  it  seems  indicated  as  connected  with 
their  mission  in  society.  In  America,  more  than 
anywhere  else  perhaps,  women  should  be  the 
centre  of  the  reunion  of  men  engaged  in  public 
affairs. 

What  is  in  reality  the  case  now-a-days  ?  Pub- 
lic life  is  confined  within  the  narrow  circle  of 
purely  local  interests.  Foreign  politics  belong 
only  to  Congress,  and  it  is  but  rarely  concerned 
with  them.  The  question  of  slavery  alone  offers 
some  variety  of  opinions  which  may  give  activity 
to  the  mind,  but  has  been  argued  for  so  many 
years,  that,  whatever  efforts  are  made  to  rejuve- 
nate it,  it  but  repeats  itself.  The  only  thing 
that  is  new  is  that  a  few  more  ambitious  persons 
desire  to  make  it  a  stepping-stone  to  arrive  at 
power.  Such  a  life  has  nothing  to  enlarge  the 
mind,  although  it  is  frequently  combined  with 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  85 

quite  individual  ideas,  often  opposed  to  the  gen- 
eral welfare.  The  peculiarity  of  this  condition 
is,  that  it  draws  the  man  within  a  more  or  less 
limited  circle  of  interests,  and  buries  his  natural 
qualities. 

A  distinguished  man,  the  Reverend  Henry 
Ward  Beecher,  has  said  with  much  truth,  that 
what  is  lacking  in  the  American  is  mirthful- 
ness,  —  that  is  to  say,  capacity  for  enjoyment, 
that  relaxation  of  mind  unattainable  by  men 
who  are  devoted  to  business ;  in  a  word,  true 
happiness,  where  interest  is  but  false  coin. 

Is  not  the  sphere  of  woman  most  naturally 
indicated,  in  a  society  thus  constituted?  We 
cannot  reproach  her  with  incapacity,  as  she  does 
not  lack  intelligence  and  vivacity  of  mind.  Her 
presence  at  the  reunions  of  men  could  not  but 
refine  manners,  which  too  much  recall  the  rude- 
ness and  uncouth  manners  of  another  age.  She 
would,  moreover,  introduce  an  agreeable  diver- 
sity in  the  subjects  of  conversation,  which  are 
at  present  fatally  stereotyped,  and  which  give 
the  national  mind  a  tint  so  uniform  as  to  be 
almost  monotonous.  Women  themselves  would 
profit  by  these  relations ;  their  minds  would 
gain  in  solidity  an  equivalent  for  the  refinement 
and  delicacy  which  they  imparted  to  the  men. 


86  MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA. 

But,  to  attain  this  result,  the  reform  must  be 
commenced  in  the  bosom  of  the  family.  The 
husband  must  consent  to  associate  his  wife  with 
all  his  interests,  with  all  his  intimate  thoughts, 
and  make  her  truly  his  confidante.  This  would 
be  an  indispensable  preparation,  and  the  family 
would  be  the  first  to  receive  the  benefits.  Here 
is  the  desirable  role  for  women  •  it  is  vastly 
above  those  chimeras  which  some  weak  minds 
cherish,  and  which  will  but  prove  an  illusion  for 
themselves  and  society. 

M.  de  Tocqueville,  whose  testimony  the  Amer- 
icans will  not  refuse,  wrote  Mme.  Swetchine  his 
ideas  of  woman's  role  in  society,  and  he  says, 
(Letter  of  Oct.  20,  1856):* 

"Nothing  has  more  struck  me,  in  my  already  some- 
what long  experience  of  public  affairs,  than  the  influence 
which  women  always  exert  in  these  matters  ;  an  influence 
greater,  the  more  indirect  it  is.  I  do  not  doubt  that  they 
give  to  every  nation  a  certain  moral  tone,  which  finally 
manifests  itself  in  politics.  I  might  mention  by  name  a 
large  number  of  examples  which  would  illustrate  what  I 
say.  A  hundred  times,  in  the  course  of  my  life,  have  I 
seen  weak  men  show  true  public  virtue,  because  a  wife 
was  at  their  side  who  sustained  them  in  this  path,  not  by 
advising  this  or  that  particular  act,  but  by  exercising  a 
strengthening  influence  upon  the  manner  in  which  they 
should  in  general  regard  duty,  or  even  ambition." 

*  Mme.  de  Swetchine,  by  M.  de  Falloux. 


MARRIAGE    IX    AMERICA.  87 

M.  de  Tocqueville,  in  rendering  all  homage  to 
this  salutary  influence  of  woman,  does  not  con- 
ceal that  of  an  entirely  opposite  character  which 
she  may  exercise  upon  her  husband,  from  a  sor- 
did or  personal  interest.  But  the  more  women 
are  kept  aloof  from  the  current  of  social  life, 
the  less  will  they  be  able  to  face  danger  and 
strengthen  themselves  to  meet  it,  and  thus 
encourage  the  companion  of  their  life.  This  is 
one  of  the  principal  purposes  of  woman's  edu- 
cation, in  a  republic  worthy  of  the  name.  And, 
if  the  Americans  have  neglected  it  till  now,  it  is 
perhaps  but  in  remembrance  of  woman's  posi- 
tion in  England,  although  in  reality  no  similar- 
ity exists  between  the  institutions  of  the  two 
countries. 


XXII. 

Prohibition  of  Marriage  with  Colored  People. 

So  far,  I  have  considered  marriage  only  as 
respects  the  white  race.  Let  us  see  what  the 
Americans  have  done  in  this  matter  for  the  col- 
ored race. 

Notwithstanding  the  great  liberty  allowed  in 
contracting  marriage,  there  is  yet  a  very  charac- 


88  MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA. 

teristic  prohibition  which  should  be  here  men- 
tioned, as  it  is  a  trait  in  morals  which  proves 
how  far  the  antagonism  of  the  white  to  the  other 
races  has  gone  in  America,  even  in  those  parts 
of  the  Union  where  slavery  is  prohibited.  In 
several  States,  we  might  say  in  the  majority* 
the  local  statute  prohibits  marriage  of  whites 
with  the  Indians,  negroes,  and  mulattoes,  what- 
ever the  degree  of  whiteness  of  the  skin  of  these 
latter.  But  where  the  statute  is  silent,  or  even 
favorable  to  this  sort  of  alliance,  the  force  of 
prejudice  is  such  that  no  one  would  dare  to 
brave  it.  It  is  not  the  legal  penalty  which  is 
feared,  but  a  condemnation  a  thousand  times 
more  terrible.  If  such  a  marriage  should  take 
place,  especially  between  a  white  woman  and  a 
colored  man,  scandal  would  be  at  its  height. 
It  would  be  such  a  disgrace  to  the  woman  that 
she  could  never  free  herself  from  it,  and  for 
safety  would  have  to  leave  the  district  where  the 
union  had  occurred.  It  cannot  be  denied  that 
such  marriages  sometimes  happen,  but  it  is 
always  amongst  the  lowest  classes  of  the  com- 
munity; and,  even  there,  it  is  not  always  safe 
for  the  persons  braving  established  ideas,  since 
among  the  lower  the  prejudice  of  race  is  as 

*  Bishop,  On  Marriage  and  Divorce,  $  223. 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  89 

deep  rooted  as  in  the  upper  classes,  perhaps 
even  more  so.  But,  somewhat  curiously,  it  has 
been  found  that  within  the  last  few  years,  in  two 
of  the  free  States,  more  women  than  men  of  the 
white  race  have  married  colored  people. 

However,  these  cases  are  so  few  that  they  are 
not  of  appreciable  importance. 


XXIII. 

Marriage  of  Slaves  between  themselves  prohibited  by  Law. 

Shall  I  speak  of  the  marriage  of  slaves? 
Held  both  as  a  chattel,  and  as  a  being  responsi- 
ble before  God  and  the  law,  it  would  seem  as  if 
this  thinking  thing  ought  to  be  authorized  to 
contract  a  legitimate  union,  in  order  to  better 
associate  his  life  with  the  idea  of  duty  and  the 
family,  —  two  great  elements  of  civilization.  Yet 
it  is  quite  otherwise.  No  colored  man,  while  a 
slave,  has  the  right  of  legal  marriage  with 
another  slave  or  with  a  free  person.  He  is 
condemned  to  a  promiscuous  intercourse,  which 
may  often  have  the  appearance  of  marriage,  but 
which  as  often  varies  and  fluctuates  at  the  will 
of  his  brute  nature,  and  is  not  conducive  of  any 
civil  benefit.     The  master  has  always  the  right 


90  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

to  break  the  natural  relation,  slight  as  it  may 
be,  which  the  slave  has  formed,  even  by  his 
consent.  And,  as  the  law  refuses  to  regulate 
this  tie,  there  is  no  recognized  paternity.  Man 
and  wife  may  be  separated,  father  and  mothei 
from  their  children,  at  the  master's  will !  It  is 
degradation  inflicted  upon  misfortune !  It  is 
overthrowing  the  most  elementary  ideas  of  mo- 
rality !  It  is  a  violation  of  the  precepts  of  the 
church  !  See  what  Pope  Adrian  I.  has  said  on 
this  subject : 

"  According  to  the  word  of  the  Apostle,  and  also  of 
Jesus  Christ,  no  one  should  discard  the  sacraments  of  the 
church,  neither  free  man  or  slave  ;  so  likewise  in  no  wise 
is  it  permitted  to  prevent  marriage  between  slaves.  Al- 
though these  marriages  may  have  been  contracted  in  spite 
of  the  refusal,  and  against  the  wish,  of  the  masters,  yet 
they  should  in  no  wise  be  dissolved/'  * 

St.  Thomas  was  still  more  explicit.  He 
openly  declared,  "  that,  in  relation  to  marriage, 
slaves  ought  not  to  be  subject  to  their  mas- 
ters." f 

To  defend  the  system  of  legislation  of  the 
Southern  States,  it  must  be  proved  that  there 


*  De  Conjug.  Scrv.,  lib.  IV.  t.  ix.  cap.  i. 

t  See  Balmes,  Le  Protestantisme  compare  avec  le  Catholicisme,  t.  L 
p.  146  (Bruxelles,  1854),  2e  q.  104,  art.  5. 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  91 

are  two  Bibles  and  two  Gospels,  —  one  for  the 
whites,  and  another  for  the  blacks.  If  not,  then 
they  must  cease  to  say,  that  they  wish  to  elevate 
the  moral  condition  of  the  slave,  to  render  him 
amenable  to  civilization.  His  welfare  is  never 
consulted  in  these  sort  of  illegal  unions  ;  which 
are  allowed  or  prohibited  according  to  the  per- 
sonal interest  of  the  master.  They  are  tolerated, 
even  encouraged  in  the  United  States  ;  because, 
the  slave  trade  being  prohibited,  and  the  laborers 
needed,  great  attention  is  paid  to  the  multiplica- 
tion of  the  black  race.  On  the  other  hand,  in 
Cuba,  where  the  trade  introduces  surreptitiously 
a  large  number  of  new  slaves  eaqh  year,  at  mod- 
erate prices,  the  promiscuous  intercourse  between 
the  servants  of  the  black  race  is  prevented  as 
much  as  possible  ;  because  the  care  of  their 
progeny  would  be  onerous  to  the  master. 

Such  is  the  varying  and  mobile  morality  of 
slave  countries !  And,  as  if  it  was  not  enough 
the  business  of  the  slave  to  increase  the  stock 
of  this  kind,  the  whites  do  not  hesitate  to  lend 
their  aid.  In  this,  we  do  not  blush  for  morality, 
but  for  marriage.  Sadly  confused  ideas  of  mo- 
rality among  a  people  who  profess  to  be  reli- 
gious, and  where  the  sins  of  the  white  are  traced 
in  the  traits  and  color  of  the  mulatto ! 


92  MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA. 

XXIV. 

Counterfeit  of  Marriage  with  Mulattresses. 

What  shall  I  say  of  the  lot  of  the  young,  free 
mulatto  girls,  whose  color  by  successive  cross- 
ings has  become  white,  or  nearly  so  ?  In  the 
South,  the  law,  which  in  this  only  reflects  the 
morals,  absolutely  refuses  them  legal  union  with 
the  whites  ;  and,  on  the  other  hand,  the  supe- 
riority of  their  education,  as  well  as  the  luxury 
in  which  they  are  brought  up,  places  them  much 
above  a  marriage  with  a  man  of  color.  Hence 
a  false  and  cruel  position,  which  weighs  upon 
their  whole  existence. 

These  women  are  often  pretty :  some  are 
really  beautiful.  They  have  a  graceful  and  easy 
carriage,  and  not  a  drop  of  dark  blood  that  has 
found  its  way  into  their  veins  but  gives  a  charm 
to  their  persons.  By  an  education  equal  to  that 
of  young  white  girls,  it  is  early  sought  to  develop 
their  natural  qualities.  Some  are  sent  to  Paris 
to  complete  their  education,  and  nothing  is 
spared  to  render  them  worthy  of  a  better  lot 
than  that  which  awaits  them.  Great  effort  is 
made  to  marry  them  in  Europe  ;  for  what  should 
not  be  tried  to  aid  their  escaping  the  dreadful 


MARRIAGE   IN    AMERICA.  93 

alternative  of  perpetual  celibacy,  or  prostitution, 
so  fatally  pointed  out.  It  is  under  this  latter 
class  that  the  majority  of  those  who  live  in  New 
Orleans  come,  —  a  city  where,  being  more  nu- 
merous than  elsewhere,  they  form  a  separate 
caste.  Here  this  irregularity  of  life  takes  a  form 
quite  peculiar,  which  is,  as  it  were,  an  aspiration 
towards  a  better  existence,  and  a  sort  of  a  mise 
en  demeure  made  to  society  to  open  its  ranks  for 
those  worthy  to  enter  them. 

The  whites  are  easily  captivated  by  the  natu- 
ral attractions  of  these  women,  especially  if 
they  are  heightened  by  education  and  powers  of 
pleasing.  But,  as  a  legitimate  union  is  impos- 
sible, a  negotiation  is  entered  into  for  a  quasi 
marriage,  and  the  affair  proceeds  as  if  there  was 
a  legal  bond.  The  suitor,  who  has  offered  him- 
self and  been  accepted  by  the  young  girl,  is 
generally  sent  to  the  mother,  who  conducts  the 
business  portion  of  the  affair.  She  informs  her- 
self most  thoroughly  with  regard  to  his  charac- 
ter, habits,  and  the  resources  at  his  command ; 
and,  if  all  confirms  the  first  impression  in  respect 
to  him,  a  contract  is  made.  The  white  man 
binds  himself  to  establish  the  young  girl  in  a 
style  of  life  and  comfort  similar  to  that  which 
she  has  enjoyed  till  then,  sometimes  even 
superior  in  certain  respects ;   and,  in  anticipa- 


94  MARRIAGE   IN    AMERICA. 

tion  of  its  happening  that  he  may  one  day 
desert  her,  he  engages  to  pay  a  fixed  sum,  to 
insure  her,  and  the  children  she  may  have  by 
this  union,  a  comfortable  position. 

These  agreements  being  made,  a  house  is 
rented  in  a  special  quarter  of  the  city,  where  the 
young  couple  establish  themselves.  The  woman 
maintains  her  former  relation  with  connections 
and  friends  ;  and  the  man,  who  is  attached  to 
her,  finds  himself  more  or  less  engaged  in  these 
family  ties,  which  are  for  him  a  sad  reverse  to 
that  condition  which  presented  itself  so  seduc- 
tively. It  is  said  of  these  women  that  they  are 
susceptible  of  deep  attachments,  and  a  fidelity 
above  suspicion.  They  give  a  charm  to  the 
household,  are  often  orderly  and  economical, 
and  some  of  them  shame  the  prejudice  which 
proscribes  them.  Worldly  fear  obliges  the  man 
to  throw  a  more  or  less  impenetrable  veil  over 
this  portion  of  his  life,  in  order  to  be  still 
admitted  into  society.  He  cannot  abandon  rela- 
tions and  friends  without  desiring  to  return ; 
and  finally  the  time  comes,  when,  waking  from 
a  long  dream,  sometimes  at  the  importunity  of 
creditors,  he  meditates  contracting  a  legitimate 
marriage,  in  order  to  establish  a  real  family,  and 
make  good  the  loss  which  such  errors  too  often 
create.     But  he   cannot   do   this  without  first 


MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA.  95 

breaking  his  former   engagement.     Right    and 
duty  trace  for  him  the  path  to  follow. 

But  sometimes,  a  return  to  the  past,  disagree- 
able comparisons,  a  thousand  circumstances, 
will  make  him  regret,  too  late,  having  aban- 
doned the  first  object  of  his  choice.  He 
hesitates,  then  falls  back  into  these  relations 
again,  and  becomes  criminal  perforce  of  weak- 
ness. 

But,  if  faithful  to  his  legitimate  wife,  and 
breaking  off  forever  his  first  engagement,  he  acts 
honorably  towards  the  colored  woman  by  paying 
her  the  promised  sum.  These  partings  some- 
time cause  deep  pain  to  the  deserted  women, 
and  render  them  all  the  more  worthy  of  interest. 
But,  if  the  separation  takes  place  without  regret, 
they  are  in  the  condition  of  widows,  who  only 
await  a  favorable  opportunity  to  contract  a  new 
engagement;  and  all  conspires  to  offer  what 
they  desire. 

These  unions  give  birth  to  children,  brought 
up  under  the  ban  of  the  law  and  society,  which 
are  their  natural  enemies,  —  an  inseparable  con- 
sequence of  every  violation  of  established  order. 

A  high  dignitary  of  the  Catholic  Church  told 
me,  that  the  clergy,  pained  at  seeing  the  majority 
of  young  colored  girls  falling  into  these  immo- 
ralities, and   noticing  that   they  did  not  yield 


96  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

till  after  the  first  taking  the  communion,  to 
which  they  attach  great  value,  adopted  this 
rule  :  that  none  of  them  hereafter  should  be 
admitted  to  participation  in  this  sacrament,  un- 
less they  and  their  mothers  obliged  themselves, 
by  a  sort  of  oath,  to  live  honestly  by  their  labor, 
and  refuse  every  illegitimate  union. 

For  some  time  no  infraction  of  the  rule  was 
noticed ;  but,  insensibly,  laxity  crept  in,  seduc- 
tions assailed  these  young  girls  :  a  future  without 
end  was  always  before  them ;  the  contagion  of 
example,  the  desire  of  being  well  off,  —  all  com- 
bined to  cause  these  poor  victims  to  yield,  and 
this  form  of  promise  had  to  be  abandoned,  that 
it  might  not  be  too  long  a  witness  of  its  own 
inefficiency,  and  in  order  not  to  expose  those 
who  made  it,  while  yet  so  young,  to  scandalously 
violating  it  with  impunity.  So  that,  at  present, 
in  spite  of  the  fatherly  remonstrances  addressed 
to  these  young  girls  before  the  communion,  in 
spite  of  every  measure  which  solicitude  for  the 
future  could  suggest  to  the  clergy,  it  is  very  dif- 
ficult for  them  to  resist  any  length  of  time  this 
current  of  depravity.  Yet  there  are  honorable 
exceptions,  all  the  more  meritorious  as  they  must 
ever  contend  against  an  implacable  prejudice 
and  an  incessant  allurement.  May  we  not  hope 
that  a  day  will  come,  when  a  legitimate  marriage 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  97 

will  be  the  recompense  of  such  efforts  made  to 
deserve  it.  This  is  doubtful,  if  the  prejudice 
of  race  remains  as  strong  as  it  is  now  seen  to 
be.  Moreover,  the  illegitimate  birth  of  these 
colored  girls  is  an  obstacle  of  another  nature, 
which  seems  to  be  a  justification  for  the  severity 
of  opinion.  Nevertheless,  would  it  not  be  better 
to  legalize  by  marriage  an  existing  irregular 
union,  when  the  woman,  faithful  to  her  only 
affection,  justifies  in  other  respects  also  the 
right  which  the  law  shall  grant  her  ?  These  are 
questions  too  important,  for  the  legislator  not  to 
treat  them  with  circumspection,  and  yet  there  is 
no  disinterested  person  but  will  admit,  that  the 
actual  condition  is  the  very  worst  that  can  be. 


XXV. 

Mormons. 

I  will  not  give  the  name  of  marriage  to  the 
immorality  introduced  by  the  Mormons,  and 
which  is  not  less  revolting  to  Americans  than 
to  foreigners.*  First  established  at  Nauvoo,  on 
the  banks  of  the  Mississippi,  they  were  soon 

*  See  Appendix,  No.  2, 


98  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

driven  from  this  den  of  corruption,  and  their 
temple  burned ;  as  if  to  show  that  fire  alone 
could  purify  this  pestiferous  atmosphere.  They 
sought  refuge  beyond  the  Rocky  Mountains, 
but  there,  as  at  Nauvoo,  they  are  branded  by 
general  sentiment;  and,  without  European  em- 
igration, especially  from  England,  furnishing 
them  recruits,  they  are  destined  to  die  out : 
for  we  must  render  this  justice  to  the  Ameri- 
cans, that  all  which  openly  violates  the  sacred- 
ness  of  the  family  is  deeply  repulsive  to  them. 


XXVI. 

Celibacy  Proclaimed  as  a  Principle  by  the  Shakers. 

It  is  worth  noticing,  how  all  sorts  of  eccentri- 
cities rendezvous  in  this  land  of  independence. 
At  the  same  time  that  we  see  polygamy  pushed 
to  its  utmost  limits,  there  exists  a  sect  called 
the  Shakers  whose  principal  object  is  the  most 
absolute  celibacy.  Their  life  has  none  of  the 
asceticism  of  the  anchorite,  or  the  holy  medita- 
tion of  the  cell.  They  live  in  a  sort  of  a  com- 
munity composed  of  men,  women,  and  children ; 
and  all  practise  the  continence  which  they 
preach.     Their  morals  are  known  to  be  irre- 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  99 

proachable.  Their  fixed  idea  is,  that,  according 
to  the  Gospel,  and  particularly  according  to  the 
second  revelation  made  to  their  foundress,  celi- 
bacy is  the  only  means  of  obtaining  regenera- 
tion of  the  spirit.  Further  on,  I  will  give*  some 
particulars  in  regard  to  this  sect  *  At  present, 
I  would  merely  say,  it  is  a  matter  of  surprise 
that  it  should  have  been  established  in  America, 
where,  from  tradition,  marriage  has  always  been 
held  in  great  honor,  and  where  it  has  contribu- 
ted so  much  to  the  prosperity  of  the  country. 
This  is  as  yet  the  only  sect  that  has  protested 
against  the  commandment  of  the  Scriptures,  "  to 
increase  and  multiply ; "  and  it  is  doubtful  if 
this  Protestantism  will  have  the  same  success  as 
Luther's.  Should  it  be  otherwise,  we  shall  no 
doubt  see  a  modern  Metellus  f  arising  to  rein- 
vigorate  the  institution  of  marriage.  But  the 
American  is  too  prudent  to  admit  such  innova- 
tions. He  will  never  be  the  one  to  shut  the 
great  book  of  humanity. 


*  See  Appendix,  No.  3. 

t  It  will  be  remembered,  that  the  censor  Metellus,  seeing  the  great 
diminution  of  citizens,  proposed  to  the  Roman  people  to  require  all 
the  celibates  to  marry.  "Romans,"  said  he  to  them,  "if  we  could 
live  without  women,  we  should  be  saved  great  trouble ;  but,  since 
nature  has  willed  it  that  we  cannot  live  comfortably  with  them,  and 
without  them  we  cannot  live  at  all,  we  should  regard  the  perpetuity 
of  the  State  rather  than  our  own  contentment." 


100  MARRIAGE   IN    AMERICA. 

XXVII. 

Divorce. 

If  the  law  shows  itself  so  indifferent,  so 
improvident,  at  the  commencement,  neglecting 
to  surround  marriage  with  precautions  and  pro- 
tective formalities,  should  it  be  severe,  if  a  time 
comes  that  finds  the  union  ill-assorted  and  the 
chain  too  heavy  ?  Two  means  are  presented  to 
meet  this  situation,  —  separation  and  divorce. 
Considerations  of  various  character  affect  this 
subject.  Religion,  political  economy  and  social 
advancement  all  act  diversely;  as  we  have 
example  in  the  past. 

There  is,  perhaps,  no  point  upon  which  there 
has  been  such  diversity  of  opinion,  as  in  respect 
to  the  principle  of  divorce  itself,  and  the  causes 
which  should  determine  it.  Certain  persons, 
and  Milton  was  of  the  number,  would  not  only 
have  divorce  possible  for  both  the  married  per- 
sons, but  also  the  right  of  repudiation,  which 
according  to  the  law  of  Moses  belonged  to  the 
husband  alone.  Milton  said,  "that  marriage 
was  created  for  man,  but  that  woman  was 
created  for  marriage."  And  he  asserts,  in  the 
same  train  of  ideas,  "that  full  and  unreserved 


MARRIAGE    IN"   AMERICA.  101 

importance  should  be  *  allowed  'those*  mental 
causes,  which,  though  just  in  themselves,  can- 
not be  carried  into  law,  since  there  is  no 
human  balance  that  can  weigh  them."*  So,  in 
this  system,  the  husband  is  both  judge  and 
plaintiff;  he  has  not  only  the  law,  but  the  juris- 
diction, —  which  decides  without  appeal. 

In  Greece  and  Rome,  during  the  early  periods, 
the  right  of  repudiation  was  granted  the  husband, 
in  imitation,  more  or  less  exact,  of  the  Jewish 
law.  But  morals  relaxed  in  consequence,  and 
divorce  was  substituted  for  repudiation  ;  so  that 
the  wife,  as  well  as  the  husband,  had  the  right 
of  appealing  to  its  decision. 

Christianity  came,  and  proclaimed  a  new  law, 
holding  that  man  could  not  sunder  what  God 
had  joined  together.  Marriage  became  a  sacra- 
ment ;  and,  at  a  single  stroke,  repudiation  and 
divorce  were  annulled.  The  struggle  to  establish 
these  principles  was  long;  but,  in  the  twelfth 
century,  opposition  finally  ceased,  and  victory 
was  complete.  Affairs  changed  their  aspect 
during  the  fifteenth  century,  when  the  Refor- 
mation commenced.  Then,  both  the  sacrament 
and  the  law  of  indissolubility  were  denied.    And, 


*  Milton's  Prose  Works;  and  Bishop,  On  Marriage  and  Divorce, 
$288. 


1Q2  ,MARRJAGE   iN  AMERICA. 

although  Catliolics  remained  faithful  to  this 
law,  Protestants  chose  not  only  ancient  repu- 
diation, but  also  divorce  for  both  husband  and 
wife. 

Milton  lived  while  this  law  was  in  force  ;  but 
his  influence,  interested  as  it  was,  could  not 
effect  a  change  of  the  law  and  a  renewed  accep- 
tance of  repudiation.  A  dissolution  of  the  tie 
is  now  considered  possible,  rendering  the  wife 
the  equal  of  her  husband ;  and  yet  she  cannot 
present  the  same  claims  for  divorce  as  he. 

To  regard  the  husband  only,  is  to  look  at  but 
one  side  of  the  question,  and  to  forget  that 
social  interest  should  have  more  weight  in  this 
matter.  Society  has  the  right,  and  should 
frown  at  disagreements  which  can  have  nothing 
real  in  them,  and  which  would  give  way  to 
serious  considerations,  if  they  were  viewed  in 
the  light  of  calm  reflection.  Hence  the  guards 
with  which  divorce  is  surrounded  in  some  coun- 
tries, to  prevent  its  degenerating  into  license. 

The  example  of  Pagan  Rome  should  have 
been  sufficient  to  enjoin  a  stricter  sense  of  duty 
on  the  Christian  legislator  of  our  day.  In 
reality,  men  and  women  could  at  that  date  be 
divorced  for  the  most  trivial  causes ;  and  the 
abuse  of  this  power  was  pushed  to  the  extreme. 
St.  Jerome  relates  that  he  assisted  at  the  fu- 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  103 

neral  of  a  woman  who  had  had  twenty-two  hus- 
bands. And  Seneca  says,  that  in  his  day  a 
woman  counted  her  years,  not  by  the  names  of 
the  consuls,  but  by  the  number  of  her  husbands. 
Can  \ye  admit  such  loose  morality  in  our  day  ? 
If  marriage  itself  is  partly  a  sacrifice,  should  it 
not  be  the  role  of  the  law  to  regulate  it,  by 
endeavoring  to  reconcile  the  necessities  of 
society  and  of  the  married  pair  ?  To  that,  all 
good  legislation  should  tend. 

This  recalls  what  used  to  occur  in  Zurich 
under  similar  circumstances.  When  the  mar- 
ried couple  made  an  application  for  divorce, 
based  on  incompatibility  of  temper,  the  magis- 
trate, according  to  the  customs  of  the  country, 
had  the  couple  applying  shut  up  in  an  isolated 
tower  on  the  lake.  They  remained  there  fifteen 
days,  obliged  to  inhabit  the  same  room,  having 
only  one  bed,  one  chair,  one  knife,  one  fork  ; 
so  that  they  were  entirely  dependent  upon  each 
other  for  their  mutual  comfort.  If,  after  this 
trial,  they  persisted  in  their  demand,  then  the 
ordinary  procedure  commenced,  and  the  tribu- 
nals decided.  It  is  said,  that  quite  often  this 
preparatory  trial  sufficed  to  cause  abandonment 
of  the  application  for  divorce,  at  first  warmly 
solicited. 

Let  us   now   see   how  the   Americans  have 


104  MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA. 

profited  by  the  experience  of  the  past,  and  after 
having  been  prompted  to  wrong  legislation 
concerning  marriage  whether  they  have  done 
better  in  that  which  relates  to  the  dissolution  of 
the  bond. 


XXVIII. 

Numerous  Causes  for  Divorce. 

The  law  of  divorce  is  not  the  same  in  all  the 
States  of  the  Union.  Each  one,  besides  the 
Common  Law  of  England,  has  a  particular  stat- 
ute upon  this  matter ;  but  there  is  a  general 
tendency  to  adopt  the  same  reasons  for  deciding 
divorce.  In  America,  there  is  a  common  name 
for  two  things  which  in  France  receive  different 
appellations.  Thus,  there  is  divorce,  properly 
so  called,  —  which  is  the  dissolution  of  the  tie  ; 
then  this  is  qualified  by  divorce  a  mensa  et  toro, 
—  what  we  call  separation  de  corps.  The  latter  is 
only  admitted  in  very  few  of  the  States,  and 
meets  with  no  favor.  This  separation  is  consid- 
ered immoral ;  since,  according  to  Lord  Howell's 
expression,  it  leaves  a  wife  without  a  husband, 
and  a  husband  without  a  wife.  It  is  celibacy 
in   marriage.     It  offers  great    temptations   for 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  105 

adultery,  and  punishes  the  innocent  more  than 
the  guilty. 

I  shall  only  speak  here  of  divorce,  properly 
so  called,  and  not  enter  into  detail  in  refer- 
ence to  the  causes  admitted  in  each  State,  but 
merely  select  a  variety  of  those  sanctioned  in 
different  sections.  This  is  pretty  nearly  the 
list: 

i.  Bigamy. 

2.  Adultery. 

3.  Voluntary  desertion  for  one,  two,  three,  or 
five  years. 

4.  Absence  continued  for  five  years. 

5.  Imbecility,  or  mental  alienation. 

6.  Union  with  a  negro,  mulatto,  or  an  Indian. 

7.  A  state  of  vagrancy. 

8.  Cruelty  or   abuse   of  one   party  by  the 
other. 

9.  Slighting  conjugal  duties. 

10.  Habitual  drunkenness  during  a  certain 
time,  and  the  excessive  use  of  opium. 

11.  Imprisonment  for  crimes  determined  by 
the  local  statute. 

12.  Impotence  of  either  party. 

13.  Not  providing  the  wife  sufficient  means 
of  subsistence. 

14.  The  wife's  refusal  to  follow  the  husband 
to  where  he  removes  his  home. 


106  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

15.  Immorality  of  either  party. 

16.  Either  one  belonging  to  the  sect  of  Shak- 
ers, —  which  I  spoke  of  above,  and  explained 
their  system. 

•  17.  One  State,  Kentucky,  has  gone  so  far  as  to 
make  a  law,  that,  "when  a  husband  announces 
in  the  papers  his  intention  of  not  paying  the 
debts  of  his  wife,  she  has  sufficient  cause  for  a 
divorce." 

There  is  only  wanting  in  this  list  the  divorce 
by  computation,  which  Cicero  invoked  to  repu- 
diate Terentia,  —  not  that  he  had  any  complaint 
against  her,  but  that  he  needed  a  new  dowry  to 
pay  his  creditors. 


XXIX. 

Decision  left  to  Tribunals.  —  Divorces  decreed  by  the  Legislature. 

Besides  the  causes  for  divorce  that  I  have 
indicated,  there  exists  in  some  of  the  States  a 
statutory  provision,  which  is  very  important, 
and  ought  to  be  adopted  in  turn  by  the  others. 
It  was  said  that  the  courts  of  justice,  accord- 
ing to  their  discretionary  power,  could  grant  a 
divorce  in  all  cases  where  they  found  the 
demand  just  and  well  founded.     It  cannot  be 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  107 

disguised  that  such  provisions  are  extravagant 
in  common  law,  as  they  leave  the  parties  to  the 
mercy,  intelligence,  integrity  and  passions  of 
the  judge  ;  indeed  to  everything  which  might 
influence  his  judgment. 

But  this  is  not  all.  In  some  of  the  States,  the 
Legislature  *  decides  upon  divorce  in  concur- 
rence with  the  courts  of  justice,  which  is  an 
additional  abuse  ;  for  then  these  Legislatures 
hold  in  the  same  hand  legislative  and  judicial 
power.  We  know  how  accessible  they  are  to 
party  influences  or  coteries,  and  are  sometimes 
even  affected  by  considerations  of  the  lowest 
kind.  A  proof  of  this  is,  that,  where  this  concur- 
rent jurisdiction  exists,  it  is  without  hesitation 
the  Legislature  that  is  appealed  to,  although  the 
causes  of  the  divorces  declared  by  them  are 
much  less  important  than  of  those  decided  by 
the  courts  of  justice.  One  can  understand  this 
anomalous  omnipotence  in  England,  where  Par- 
liament can,  without  offending  the  Constitution, 
absorb  all  the  power  ;  which  has  given  rise  to 
the  remark  that  Parliament  has  full  power  to  do 
what  it  sees  fit  to,  with  but  one  exception, 
namely,  that  it  cannot  turn  a  man  into  a  woman, 
or  a  woman  into  a  man.  But,  in  the  United 
States,  a  democratic  country,  where  there  is  a 
fundamental  separation  of  public  powers,  this 


108  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

concentration  of  legislative  and  judicial  author- 
ity in  the  same  hand  is  an  anomaly  and  a 
danger. 

XXX. 

English  and  American  Laws  of  Divorce  compared. 

A  law  so  radical  could  not  have  been  called 
forth,  except  by  what  was  seen  in  England  ante- 
rior to  the  amended  Bill  of  Divorce  cited  above. 
The  immoralities  arising  from  the  impossibility 
of  having  recourse  to  the  tribunals  would  make 
the  American  law  seem  a  step  in  advance.  Yet, 
if  the  English  law  was  in  fact  only  applicable 
to  a  small  number,  on  the  other  hand,  it  is  fair 
to  state  that  it  recognized  but  one  cause  for 
divorce,  —  adultery.  This  is  far  from  the  almost 
indefinite  power  granted  to  the  caprices  of  the 
married  couple  in  America,  which  tends  to  noth- 
ing less  than  indirectly  producing  polygamy. 

The  new  English  law  has  made  the  courts 
accessible  to  a  much  larger  number ;  and,  wiser 
than  the  American,  it  has  introduced  no  inno- 
vation in  regard  to  the  causes  of  divorce.  It 
admits  but  one  as  before,  namely,  adultery.  A 
longer  experience  will  show  the  Americans  that 


MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA.  109 

they  must  greatly  modify  legislation  upon  this 
point.  The  door  is  too  open  to  license.  And 
it  must  never  be  forgotten,  that,  the  older  a  soci- 
ety grows,  the  more  important  it  is  to  watch 
over  its  progress,  and  by  applying  the  curb  pre- 
vent its  hastening  its  own  decadence. 


XXXI. 

Prohibition  of  Divorce.  —  Concubinage  legalized  in  South  Carolina. 

There  is  one  of  the  States  of  the  Union,  and 
one  only,  which  stands  in  contrast  to  the  others 
in  this  matter ;  for  it  admits  no  divorce,  legisla- 
tive or  judicial,  for  any  motive  whatsoever. 
This  is  South  Carolina.  Does  that  mean  that 
marriages  are  better  assorted  there  than  else- 
where ?  "  No,"  replies  an  American  writer, 
"  divorce  is  just  as  necessary  there  as  elsewhere 
in  the  Union."  *  But,  has  the  law  acted  more 
wisely  in  making  this  prohibition,  under  the 
same  circumstances  ?  It  will  not  be  so  regarded 
if  we  examine  this  subject  more  closely  :  for, 
in  this  State,  not  only  is  adultery  not  subject  to 
judicial  prosecution,  but  cannot  be  a  cause  for 

*  Bishop,  On  Marriage  and  Divorce,  §  285. 


110         ,  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

divorce ;  and,  still  further,  it  receives  a  sort 
of  sanction  from  the  legislator,  by  his  thinking 
it  necessary  to  determine  by  a  special  statute 
what  portion  of  his  property  a  married  man  may 
give  to  his  concubine,  even  under  pretext  of  a 
compact  previous  to  adultery. 

It  was  no  doubt  thought  that  with  such  a 
tolerance  of  loose  morality,  which  is  no  less 
than  legalized  polygamy,  there  was  no  necessity 
for  the  existence  of  divorce  !  But  the  wife  can- 
not avail  herself  of  this  law  (a  tacit  homage  to 
the  delicacy  of  her  nature),  and,  besides,  immo- 
rality is  not  the  only  cause  for  divorce. 

However  that  may  be,  this  law  has  found  its 
apologists,  even  in  the  courts  of  justice,*  as  a 
contre  coup  to  the  excessive  abuse  of  divorce. 

It  does  not  seem  to  me  to  require  a  great 
effort  of  reason  to  perceive,  that  both  systems 
are  equally  deplorable,  and  that  the  faults  of 
one  do  not  excuse  those  of  the  other.  In  both 
cases,  the  woman  is  more  or  less  sacrificed ; 
and,  whatever  the  alternative,  have  we  the  right 
to  be  very  severe  with  the  Mormons  ? 

*  Bishop,  On  Marriage  and  Divorce,  §  289. 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  Ill 


XXXII. 

Divorces  numerous. 

In  the  United  States,  we  see  in  even-thing 
deeds  and  acts  the  most  opposite  meeting  each 
other,  —  so  true  is  it  that  the  human  mind  is  far 
from  having  found  its  path,  and  must  yet  run 
a  long  while  into  extremes  before  recovering  it. 

In  opposition  to  this  law  of  South  Carolina, 
we  see  in  a  neighboring  State,  Alabama,  upwards 
of  a  hundred  divorces  annually  declared  by  the 
Legislature,  without  counting  those  granted  by 
the  courts.*  A  little  further  off,  in  Ohio,  a 
judge  made  this  remark,  "that  there  was  no 
law  more  abused  in  that  State  than  that  of 
divorce  ;  and  that  a  majority  of  the  inhabitants 
thought,  of  all  contracts,  marriage  was  the  least 
obligatory,  and  nothing  further'was  necessary  to 
dissolve  it  than  to  make  an  appeal  to  the  com- 
petent tribunals."  f 

This  doctrine  is  nearly  that  in  practice  in 
Indiana,  where  the  law  sympathizes  strongly 
with  conjugal  misfortunes.  Hence,  the  courts 
of  justice  are  literally  crowded  with  applications 

*  Baltimore  Sun,  Feb.  22,  1856. 

t  Bishop,  On  Marriage  and  Divorce,  §  290. 


,112  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

for  divorce,  —  whose  authors,  it  is  true,  are  very 
often  citizens  of  other  States.  But  their  grea* 
number  sufficiently  proves  the  existence  of  facil 
ities  there,  rarely  found  elsewhere.  These  impro- 
vised decisions  are  not  impeded  by  any  question 
of  legality ;  a  simple  affirmation  is  sufficient  to 
prove  a  residence  in  the  State,  and  no  one 
would  hesitate  to  lie  to  the  court  in  a  question 
considered  of  so  little  importance. 

The  Washington  "National  Intelligencer," 
one  of  the  most  respectable  papers  in  the  Union, 
relates,*  that  Judge  Test,  in  one  of  the  Indiana 
courts,  in  giving  his  opinion  upon  a  case  of 
divorce  brought  before  him,  said,  "that  the 
advocates  of  '  free  love '  (a  new  sect  which  finds 
love  lacking  liberty  in  the  United  States)  could 
not  ask  a  statute  more  favorable  to  their  views 
than  the  law  of  divorce  in  Indiana,  and  that  the 
polygamy  of  the  Mormons  was  preferable ;  for 
it  at  least  obliged  husbands  to  provide  for  the 
subsistence  and  protection  of  their  wives."  In 
reference  to  this  state  of  things,  an  anecdote  is 
told,  piquant  enough  to  be  mentioned  here.  It 
seems  that  a  resident  of  Syracuse  (State  of 
New  York)  had  been  deserted  for  some  time  by 
his  wife,  who,  at  best  conjecture,  had  gone  to 

*  Nov.  i,  1858. 


MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA.  113 

the  West  to  obtain  a  divorce.  The  husband 
had  no  objection  to  his  wife's  demand  ;  and  his 
only  desire  was  to  know  positively,  that  she  had 
succeeded,  and  that  he  had  henceforth  full  lib- 
erty to  engage  in  a  second  marriage.  To  avoid 
uncertainty,  he  thought  it  best  to  write  to  the 
several  District  Recorders,  and  request  them  to 
inform  him,  if  they  knew  of  a  divorce  concerning 
him,  that  might  have  been  declared  in  their 
jurisdictions.  Amongst  the  replies  which  were 
made  him  was  the  following : 

Indiana,  Sept.  18,  1858. 
Dear  Sir,  —  There  has  not  yet  been  an  application  for 

divorce  made  to  our  court,  in  the  name  of ;  but  I 

think  we  have  divorced  half  of  the  citizens  of  your  State, 
so  that,  if  we  continue  in  the  same  train,  I  imagine,  in  a 
few  years,  we  shall  exhaust  the  marriages  of  New  York 
and  Massachusetts. 

Awaiting  opportunity  to  be  of  service  to  you, 
I  am,  etc.,  etc. 

Whatever  exaggeration  there  may  be  in  the 
form  of  expression,  the  letter  of  the  Indiana 
registrar  will  serve  none  the  less  to  prove,  that 
the  number  of  applications  for  divorce  is  large ; 
and  that  the  courts,  thanks  to  an  unwise  law,  are 
crowded  with  business  of  this  nature. 

Throughout  the  States,  it  is  thought  that  all 
which  tends  to  separate  the  married  contributes 


114  MARRIAGE   IN    AMERICA. 

to  the  increase  of  population,  and  that  facilitating 
the  dissolution  of  the  tie  is  of  social  utility ; 
because  it  allows  the  parties  to  seek  another 
union,  better  assorted,  destined  to  fulfil  the  ends 
of  marriage. 

Under  the  influence  of  these  ideas,  and  the 
legislation  which  they  create,  we  need  not  be 
surprised  that  the  number  of  divorces  is  very 
considerable  in  the  United  States.  I  have  said, 
above,  what  the  state  of  things  was  in  Alabama. 
In  the  State  of  Pennsylvania,  at  Philadelphia, 
a  quiet  city  founded  by  die  Quakers,  it  has  been 
stated  that  during  the  nine  years  up  to  1856 
inclusive,  the  courts  have  declared  eleven  hun- 
dred and  thirty-five  divorces,  without  counting 
those  granted  by  the  Legislature,  —  which  are 
also  numerous.* 

In  Connecticut,  an  old  colony  founded  by  the 
Puritans,  a  distinguished  man,  President  Dwight, 
of  Yale  College,  said,  as  long  ago  as  18 16, 
before  an  assembly  of  the  State  officers,  "  that 
in  the  city  of  New  Haven  alone,  then  quite 
a  village,  there  had  been  more  than  fifty  di- 
vorces granted  in  the  five  preceding  years,  and 
more  than  four  hundred  in  the  whole  State, 
during  the  same  time.     That  is  nearly  one  for 

*  See  Philadelphia  Ledger,  April  17,  1857. 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  115 

every  hundred  homes."  *  Since  then,  they  have 
increased.  If  we  may  credit  a  Southern  paper, 
which,  like  its  confreres  of  this  part  of  the  Un- 
ion, takes  up  eagerly  any  charge  against  Massa- 
chusetts, we  shall  find  that  in  a  single  session 
of  the  County  Court  sitting  at  Dedham,  Mass., 
the  last  term  of  1856,  or  the  first  of  1857, 
eleven  divorces  were  declared  for  this  small 
circuit,  seven  of  which  were  for  adultery,  f 
Statistics  would  give  similar  results  for  the 
other  States  of  the  Union.  It  is  useless  to 
dwell  longer  upon  this  point. 

To  the  honor  of  the  American  women  it  must 
be  said,  that  the  majority  of  the  divorces  are 
granted  at  their  request,  and  not  against  them. 
It  is  often  in  consequence  of  their  husbands 
abandoning  them  to  seek  their  fortunes  in  the 
West,  in  California,  where  the  thirst  for  gold 
alters  all  that  is  noble  and  pure  in  human  na- 
ture, and  contributes  to  the  overthrow  of  all 
institutions,  even  those  which  ought  to  counter- 
act this  deleterious  influence. 

In  the  United  States,  the  one  who  gains  the 
case  has  a  perfect  right  to  contract  another  mar- 
riage, whilst  the  lot  of  the  defeated  one  varies 

*  Bishop,  On  Marriage  and  Divorce,  §  275. 
t  New  Orleans  Picayune,  March  10,  1857. 


116  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

according  as  the  special  State  regards  the  cir- 
cumstances, with  more  or  less  severity.  Some 
of  the  States  authorize  an  immediate  second 
marriage  \  others  refuse  this  right  during  the  life 
of  the  other  party.  But  the  proximity  of  the 
various  States  allows  these  prohibitions  to  be 
easily  avoided :  a  simple  change  of  residence  suf- 
fices to  attain  the  object.  This  diversity  of  law 
upon  the  same  point,  in  neighboring  localities, 
often  produces  curious  consequences  Thus  it 
has  been  thought,  that  a  person  could  build  a 
house,  composed  of  two  distinct  buildings,  upon 
the  border  line  between  adjacent  States :  each 
portion  would  be  in  a  different  State ;  so  that 
a  man,  who  could  not  engage  in  a  second 
marriage  on  account  of  the  divorce  declared 
against  him,  might  live  alone  in  one  portion  of 
the  house,  whilst  he  had  established  his  wife  in 
the  other  part,  where  the  second  marriage  was 
legal  under  the  same  circumstances,  —  thus  being 
on  one  side  a  bachelor,  and  on  the  other  mar- 
ried. 


MARRIAGE    IX   AMERICA.  117 

XXXIII. 

Legitimation  by  a  subsequent  marriage  prohibited. 

Marriage  is  not  always  the  result  of  a  first 
impulse ;  it  is  also  an  act  of  reparation  which 
ought  to  be  especially  encouraged.  In  fact,  how 
many  unions  are  formed  only  to  legalize  the  birth 
of  children  previously  born.  It  would  seem  that 
the  purity  of  the  motive  ought  always  to  find  grace 
in  the  eyes  of  a  Christian  legislator.  Nevertheless, 
the  American  law,  which  on  this  point  is  simply 
a  copy  of  the  English,  refuses  without  pity  legit- 
imation by  subsequent  marriage.  One  can 
scarcely  understand  that  in  a  country  of  extreme 
liberty,  where  there  is  such  indulgence  for  mis- 
demeanors even  the  most  serious,  where  society 
commiserates  the  guilty  and  the  criminal,  where 
every  means  are  sought  to  restore  the  individual 
who  has  broken  the  law,  —  we  can  scarcely,  I 
say,  understand  why  it  is  so  inexorable  upon 
this  point,  as  to  refuse  the  entree  of  the  family  to 
those  children,  the  irregularity  of  whose  origin 
their  parents  desire  to  have  forgotten.  Why  is 
it  not  seen,  that  this  legitimation  is  one  of  the 
greatest  attractions  of  marriage  for  those  who 
have  at  first  avoided  it.  Does  not  the  refusal  of 
it  lay  a  perpetual  weight  of  remorse  upon  the 


118  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

repentant,  and  cruelly  torture  the  parents,  by  strik- 
ing at  their  dearest  affections  ?  Why  is  it  not 
seen,  that  this  is  including  in  the  same  proscrip- 
tion unfortunate  beings  who  must  always  carry 
the  stigma  of  bastard  upon  their  brow,  and  who 
cannot  retain  the  same  respect  and  regard  for 
their  parents  as  if  the  original  stain  had  been 
effaced  ? 

Yet  this  is  the  English  law,  which  is  the  Com- 
mon Law  of  the  United  States,  and  which  has 
been  repudiated  in  but  a  single  State  (Ohio),  — 
where  the  local  statute  recognizes,  as  in  France, 
the  legitimation  of  a  natural  child  by  the  subse- 
quent marriage  of  the  parents.  This  cruel  law 
was  called  forth  by  an  excessive  Puritanism, 
which  to-day  is  quite  an  anachronism. 

The  Romans,  although  very  partial  to  mar- 
riage, and  prescribing  penalties  for  celibacy, 
nevertheless  admitted  concubinage  ;  that  is  to 
say,  a  quasi  union  between  persons  for  whom  no 
other  impediment  to  marriage  existed,  but  which 
had  nothing  obligatory  in  it,  since  the  parties 
could  break  it  off  at  will.  In  this  tolerated 
commerce,  the  father  of  the  children  was  known, 
and  the  latter  could  be  rendered  legitimate  by  a 
subsequent  marriage.  Such  was  the  last  state 
of  the  law,  when  brought  under  the  influence  of 
Christianity. 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  119 

If  the  English  and  Americans  examine  the 
records  of  this  law,  they  will  find  that  several  em- 
perors devised  various  methods  of  legitimating  the 
birth  of  natural  children,  the  issue  of  concubinage. 
Amongst  these  was  the  subsequent  marriage  of 
the  parents.  It  was  under  Constantine  (three 
hundred  and  thirty-five  years  after  Christ)  that 
the  first  general  statute  respecting  legitimation 
appeared,  designed  to  place  natural  children 
under  the  control  of  the  father.  This  part  of 
the  law  was  developed  by  his  successors,  and  at 
the  time  of  the  Institutes  the  result  could  be 
obtained  in  two  ways,  —  an  oblation  to  the 
curia,  and  subsequent  marriage.* 

In  France,  we  have  borrowed  this  latter 
method  from  the  Roman  law,  and  applied  it  to 
recognized  natural  children, — whose  position  is 
in  some  sort  identical  with  those  who  are  the 
issue  of  concubinage.  In  doing  this,  we  have 
paid  true  homage  to  civilization.  Let  us  hope 
that  the  Americans,  who  have  already  so  greatly 
reformed  English  law,  will  take  another  step  in 
advance,  by  adopting  the  principles  of  the 
Roman  law.  By  doing  this,  they  can  claim  to 
have  bettered  their  civil  code. 

*  Cod.  liv.  V.  tit.  xxvii. 


120  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 


XXXIV. 


Have  Democratic  Institutions  had  a  marked  Effect  upon  the  Family. 
—  What  is  Woman's  Influence  in  American  Society. 


In  speaking  of  America,  it  is  requisite  to  be 
acquainted  with  what  M.  de  Tocqueville  has 
said ;  for  he  has  written  the  most  important 
work  on  this  country  that  we  have.  The  facts 
which  he  has  collected,  his  method  of  systemiz- 
ing  them,  the  official  manner  which  he  has 
adopted,  all  tend  to  render  them  a  valuable 
subject  of  thought  for  those  who  are  not  content 
with  a  superficial  view  of  affairs,  but  desire  to 
know  their  whole  bearing.  M.  de  Tocqueville's 
book  had  a  successful  debut,  and  it  gained 
him  an  extensive  reputation  as  a  writer,  which 
his  subsequent  works  have  increased.  The 
Americans  attach  great  importance  to  his  book, 
an  abridged  translation  of  which  has  been  made 
a  classic  work  for  the  higher  studies  at  West 
Point  (the  chief  scientific  school  in  the  United 
States).  It  is  a  tribute  of  encomium,  the  most 
delicate  and  best  expressed  which  could  be  paid 
his  high  intellect.  The  grand  scientific  and  lite- 
rary bodies  of  France  have,  as  it  were,  made  this 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  121 

reputation  sacred,  by  appropriating  to  them- 
selves this  eminent  man,  who  has  thrown  so 
much  light  upon  the  art  of  observation  in  the 
domain  of  politics,  morals,  economy,  etc. 

But  the  greater  the  authority  of  a  superior 
man,  the  more  must  we  guard  against  the  sway 
which  he  may  exercise ;  for,  if  he  perchance 
attributes  to  circumstances  which  are  only  in- 
complete or  transient  a  character  of  perma- 
nency and  normality,  or  if  in  spite  of  himself 
he  yields  to  the  allurement  of  certain  ideas,  we 
run  the  risk  of  receiving  that  as  a  trait  of  the 
physiognomy  of  a  people,  which,  more  closely 
observed,  will  often  prove  but  an  accident,  with- 
out real  importance. 

I  studied  with  care  what  M.  de  Tocqueville 
has  said  upon  marriage  and  the  family,  in  order 
to  see  if  the  facts  which  I  had  collected  could 
be  reconciled  with  the  theories  which  he  has 
developed  upon  these  important  subjects. 
Agreeing  with  him  on  certain  points,  I  do  not 
in  others ;  and,  as  disagreement  with  a  man  of 
such  weight  is  a  serious  matter,  it  must  needs 
be  explained  at  length.  The  reader  ought  to 
be  thoroughly  acquainted  with  the  points  in  con- 
troversy to  be  able  to  judge  fully  of  the  case  :  I 
therefore  will  bring  before  him  all  the  elements 
of  the  discussion,  reproducing,  as  literally  as  I 


122       •  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

can,  the  principal  propositions  of  M.  de  Tocque- 
ville.  I  shall  be  scrupulous  to  omit  none,  both 
from  conscientiousness  and  as  a  mark  of  defer- 
ence for  so  noble  an  opponent. 

The  learned  author,  after  devoting  the  princi- 
pal part  of  his  book  to  an  exposition  of  demo- 
cratic institutions  as  they  are  seen  in  the  United 
States,  and  to  the  development  of  his  theories 
upon  this  form  of  government,  finally  endeavors 
to  show  what  is  the  influence  of  democracy  in 
America  upon  morals,  properly  so  called.  Wo- 
man and  the  family  are  among  the  prominent 
points  of  this  study.  He  devotes  a  few  chapters 
to  these,  in  which  the  facts  apply  more  or  less 
happily  in  support  of  his  doctrines. 

The  author  examines,  first,  the  position  of  the 
young  girl.  He  finds  that  *  "  among  almost  all 
Protestant  nations,  they  are  far  more  the  mis- 
tresses of  their  own  actions  than  they  are  in 
Catholic  countries.  This  independence  is  still 
greater  in  Protestant  countries  like  England, 
which  have  retained  or  acquired  the  right  of 
self-government."     He   thinks,  f   "  that   in   the 

*  De  la  Democratic  en  Amerique,  vol.  IV.  p.  71,  se.  ddition. 

The  words  of  the  American  translation  of  De  Tocqueville  are 
quoted,  and  sometimes,  for  the  sake  of  clearness,  the  quotation  is 
more  full  than  Mr.  Carlier's.  —  Note  by  Translator. 

f  Idem,  p.  72. 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  123 

United  States  the  doctrines  of  Protestantism  are 
combined  with  great  political  freedom  and  a 
most  democratic  state  of  society,  and  nowhere 
are  young  women  surrendered  so  early  or  so 
completely  to  their  own  guidance." 

Long  before  an  American  girl  arrives  at  the 
age  of  marriage,  her  emancipation  from  mater- 
nal control  begins.  She  has  scarcely  ceased  to 
be  a  child,  when  she  already  thinks  for  herself, 
speaks  with  freedom,  and  acts  on  her  own  im- 
pulse. The  great  scene  of  the  world  is  con- 
stantly open  to  her  view.  Far  from  seeking 
concealment,  it  is  every  day  disclosed  to  her 
more  completely,  and  she  is  taught  to  survey  it 
with  a  firm  and  calm  gaze.  Thus  the  vices  and 
dangers  of  society  are  early  revealed  to  her. 
As  she  sees  them  clearly,  she  views  them  with- 
out illusions,  and  braves  them  without  fear ;  for 
she  is  full  of  reliance  on  her  own  strength,  and 
her  reliance  seems  to  be  shared  by  all  who  are 
about  her."  Thus*  "she  is  remarkable  rather 
for  purity  of  manners  than  for  chastity  of  mind  ; " 
"  and  they  hold  it  of  more  importance  to  protect 
her  conduct  than  to  be  over-scrupulous  of  her 
innocence." — "A  democratic  education  is  indis- 
pensable, to  protect  women  from  the  dangers 

*  Idem,  p.  73. 


124  MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA. 

with  which  democratic  institutions  and  manners 
surround  them." 

To  more  fully  illustrate  his  views,  the  author 
compares*  "the  cautious  and  reserved  educa- 
tion of  the  young  French  girl  with  the  freedom 
of  the  American ;  and  the  preference  is,  no 
doubt,  in  favor  of  the  American  system."  Such 
are  the  principal  points  indicated  by  the  author. 

I  have  had  occasion  to  notice,  in  the  course 
of  my  work,  the  marked  differences  which 
exist  between  the  education  of  the  young 
French  girl  and  that  which  the  American  re- 
ceives. In  the  education  of  the  latter,  com- 
pared with  that  of  English  girls,  I  have  only 
indicated  the  shades  of  difference.  But  M.  de 
Tocqueville  thinks  he  saw  more  in  this,  —  as  he, 
with  preconceived  idea,  accounts  for  all,  by  the 
independent  education  of  the  young  American 
girl.  Here  commences  my  disagreement  with 
the  author. 

For  one  familiar  with  English  society  and  the 
English  family,  this  first  proposition  of  M.  de 
Tocqueville  will  seem  rather  doubtful :  more- 
over, he  fails  to  compare,  in  this  respect,  the 
United  States  with  England ;  for  he  should 
remember,  that,  in   the   latter   country,   where 

*  Idem,  p.  73.  Idem,  p.  75. 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  125 

the  organization  of  society  is  purely  aristo- 
cratic, where  the  law  of  marriage  is  especially 
made  with  this  feeling,  the  young  girls  are  edu- 
cated with  the  same  independence,  the  same 
liberty,  the  same  acquaintance  with  the  dangers 
which  society  offers,  as  the  young  American 
girl.  With  them,  acceptance  has  not,  as  its 
prelude,  that  timid  diffidence  which  is  so  charm- 
ing. The  fruit  has  ripened  without  the  flower 
which  is  its  lovely  precursor.  And  if  we  find  a 
degree  of  exaggeration  of  the  system  among  the 
Americans,  it  is  but  a  variation  of  it,  which  does 
not  affect  its  principal  features.  When  analo- 
gous results  are  produced  under  the  influence 
of  institutions  so  different,  what  has  democracy 
to  do  with  such  matters  ?  Is  it  not  more  natu- 
ral and  more  just  to  say,  that  these  manners  are 
traditional,  and  brought  by  the  first  colonists 
from  England  to  America ;  that  they  have  been 
transmitted  from  generation  to  generation,  and 
grown  stronger  by  being  favored  by  demo- 
cratic institutions,  which  are,  as  it  were,  their 
preserver  ?  The  political  form  of  government 
is  not,  therefore,  their  determining  cause ;  it 
simply  guides  them.  This  it  is  very  important 
to  notice. 

M.  de  Tocqueville  has  said,  as  I  above  stated, 
that  the  young  American  girl  must  be  fortified 


126  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

against  the  perils  with  which  the  manners  and 
institutions  of  a  democracy  surrounded  her.  I 
have  asked  myself,  What  are  these  perils  ?  But 
the  author  quickly  undertakes  the  refutation  of 
his  own  proposition  by  saying :  # 

"  Not,  indeed,  that  the  equality  of  conditions  can  ever 
succeed  in  making  men  chaste,  but  it  may  impart  a  less 
dangerous  character  to  their  breaches  of  morality.  As  no 
one  has,  then,  either  sufficient  time  or  opportunity  to 
assail  a  virtue  armed  in  self-defence,  there  will  be  at  the 
same  time  a  great  number  of  courtesans  and  a  great  num- 
ber of  virtuous  women." 

This  should  reassure  us  with  regard  to  the 
perils  with  which  the  author  at  first  startled  us. 
But,  as  if  this  was  not  sufficient  to  fully  allay 
our  fears,  he  says,f  "  that  the  Americans  always 
show  by  their  conduct  that  they  consider  women 
virtuous  and  refined,  and  that  in  their  presence 
every  one  is  guarded  in  his  remarks,  to  avoid 
obliging  them  to  hear  language  which  might 
offend  them."  This  being  so,  the  safeguard,  it 
seems  to  me,  would  have  been  less  necessary  to 
protect  innocence ;  and  the  young  American 
girl,  having  nothing  to  fear  from  democratic 
manners,  would  not  need  a  special  democratic 
education. 

*  Work  quoted,  p.  91.  J  P.  102. 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  127 

After  having  praised  the  morals  of  the  Amer- 
icans, M.  de  Tocqueville  says*  "  It  is  evident, 
that  on  this  point  the  Americans  are  very  supe- 
rior to  their  progenitors,  the  English.  A  super- 
ficial glance  at  the  two  nations  will  establish  the 
fact."  He  defends  his  remark  by  saying,  "In 
England,  as  in  all  other  countries  of  Europe, 
public  malice  is  constantly  attacking  the  frail- 
ties of  women.  Philosophers  and  statesmen  are 
heard  to  deplore  that  morals  are  not  sufficiently 
strict,  and  the  literary  productions  of  the  country 
constantly  lead  one  to  suppose  so.  In  America, 
all  books,  novels  not  excepted,  suppose  women 
to  be  chaste,  and  no  one  thinks  of  relating 
affairs  of  gallantry."  The  author  considers, 
that,t  "  no  doubt,  this  great  regularity  of  Amer- 
ican morals  originates  partly  in  the  country,  in 
the  race  of  the  people,  and  in  their  religion ; 
but  all  these  causes,  which  operate  elsewhere, 
do  not  suffice  to  account  for  it :  recourse  must 
be  had  to  some  special  reason.  This  reason 
appears  to  me  to  be  the  principle  of  equality, 
and  the  institutions  derived  from  it."  There 
are  scattered  through  these  few  lines  several 
assertions  which  it  is  necessary  to  separate,  in 
order  the  better  to  refute  them  individually. 

*  P.  84.  f  P-  85,  work  quoted. 


128  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

i.  Greater  morality  in  America  than  in  Eng- 
land. 

2.  The  influence  of  race  and  religion. 

3.  Especially  the  influence  of  equality  and  of 
democratic  institutions. 

M.  de  Tocqueville  says  that  a  superficial 
glance  will  prove  the  first  of  these  propositions. 
I  admit  with  him  that  observation  is  superficial, 
for  he  does  not  go  to  the  bottom  of  the  subject, 
and  sees  only  the  surface.  It  is  from  this  that 
he  will  fail  to  convince.  I  will  do  what  the 
author  has  not  done,  namely,  elucidate  the 
question. 

In  England,  the  morals  of  the  family  could 
not  have  been  so  pure  as  in  the  United  States, 
because,  till  1856,  divorce  and  separation  existed 
only  nominally  for  the  majority.  In  fact,  the 
costs  of  a  case  of  this  kind  could  not  be  counted 
less  than  ten  thousand  dollars,  without  reckoning 
that  an  enormous  length  of  time  must  be  wasted 
in  struggling  through  a  labyrinth  of  procedures, 
complicated  and  iniquitous,  which  repelled  even 
those  whose  fortune  allowed  of  assailing  them. 
Ill-assorted  couples  were  forced  to  prolong  indefi- 
nitely an  intolerable  existence  under  the  same 
roof;  or  to  separate,  more  or  less  voluntarily,  with 
all  the  dangers  attached  to  that  equivocal  and 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  129 

unhappy  condition.  Hence  immoralities,  which 
the  law  must  bear  the  principal  responsibility 
of. 

Suppose,  for  an  instant,  the  same  laws  to  ex- 
ist in  the  United  States,  the  same  immorality 
would  probably  occur,  —  a  proof  of  which  is  the 
three  thousand  divorces  that  are  declared  every 
year.  A  country  Where  divorce  and  separation 
are  impossible  differs  widely  from  one  where 
they  are  frequent. 

In  searching  further,  M.  de  Tocqueville  would 
have  seen,  that  there  was  no  ground  for  his  argu- 
ment, and  have  spared  the  English.  It  is 
to  be  regretted  that  he  should  have  trusted  to 
appearances  only,  which,  as  he  himself  has  said, 
afford  but  a  superficial  view; 

The  learned  author  does  not  insist  upon 
causes  deduced  from  race  and  religion,  and  in 
reality  they  would  have  afforded  here  no  sup- 
port. The  English  may  appeal  to  them  as  well 
as  the  Americans.  The  same  blood  flows  in 
the  veins  of  both  people,  and  both  profess  the 
same  religion. 

Nothing  therefore  remained  for  the  author, 
but  to  confine  himself  to  equality  of  condition 
and  democratic  institutions,  in  attempting  to 
establish  the  superiority  of  American  morals 
compared  with  those  of  the  people  of  Europe. 


130  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

He  explains,*  "  that  where  social  position  and 
condition  are  identical  there  is  nothing  to  inter- 
fere with  choice  in  marriage,  and  from  this  full 
liberty  there  can  but  result  fortunate  selections, 
and  hence  good  morals." 

This  argument  has  for  him,  it  is  true,  all  the 
appearance  of  indisputable  fact,  but,  examined 
more  closely,  its  refutation  readily  appears.  If 
the  question  is  only  in  regard  to  freedom  in  the 
choice  of  a  husband,  it  must  be  admitted  that  the 
English  girl  has  not  as  much  as  the  American. 
But,  according  to  the  author,  this  independence 
is  but  nominal  for  the  English  girl,  since  in  an 
aristocratic  countiy  there  are  lines  of  demarca- 
tion which  are  a  barrier  to  freedom  of  choice,  — 
and  which  do  not  exist  in  a  democratic  coun- 
try. To  a  certain  extent,  I  admit  the  force 
of  the  argument.  Yet  in  England,  as  elsewhere, 
every  one  living  in  a  fixed  sphere,  the  selections 
which  would  overstep  certain  limits  are  so  rare 
that  they  cannot  authorize  a  rule  so  absolute  as 
that  given  by  M.  de  Tocqueville. 

But  I  will  go  further :  France,  which  he  re- 
gards as  entirely  monarchical,  has,  nevertheless, 
very  democratic  civil  institutions,  comparable 
with  those  of  the  United  States.     Yet  following 

•  Work  already  quoted,  p.  85. 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  131 

the  reasoning  of  M.  de  Tocqueville,  who  does 
not  admit  this  similarity,  we  must  grant  that  the 
morals  of  the  family  are  less  pure  in  France 
than  in  the  United  States  ;  because  in  our  aris- 
tocratic and  monarchical  country  there  is,  in 
fact,  no  equality  of  condition  any  more  than 
democracy  in  our  institutions.  It  is  seen  that 
I  give  the  author's  statement  fully. 

If  this  be  so,  how  is  it  that  among  the  thirty- 
six  millions  of  inhabitants  of  France  there 
are  but  each  year,  taking  the  highest  number, 
about  nineteen  hundred  separatio?is  de  corps, 
two  hundred  of  which  only  are  for  adultery; 
whilst  in  the  United  States,  with  a  population 
of  thirty  millions,  there  is  reckoned  at  least 
three  thousand  divorces  per  year  (about  one 
hundred  for  each  State),  a  part  of  which  are  for 
adultery?  I  am  not  informed  of  the  precise 
number  of  divorces  of  the  latter  nature,  but,  if 
one  may  judge  by  the  information  given  from 
time  to  time  in  the  newspapers,  it  will  greatly 
exceed  that  of  the  separations  de  corps  declared 
in  France  for  the  same  cause. 

It  is  seen  that  I  oppose  positive  facts  to 
hypothetical  data,  thus  annulling  the  conjec- 
tures drawn  therefrom. 

How,  now,  can  American  morality  be  declared 
superior  to  that  of  the  people  of  Europe.     It 


132  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

must,  moreover,  not  be  forgotten  that  the  numer- 
ous divorces  in  America  are  nearly  always  fol- 
lowed by  subsequent  marriage,  which  in  the 
eyes  of  many  moralists  is  considered  as  polyg- 
amy and  has  been  called  'successive,  to  distinguish 
it  from  that  which  is  si?nultaneous.  The  author, 
desiring  to  connect  everything  with  institutions, 
does  not  give  to  religion  the  influence  due  to  it. 
This  it  is  which  acts  upon  the  morals  much 
more  than  any  special  form  of  government. 
But  in  putting  religion  in  the  front  rank  the 
author  encountered  two  obstacles.  Support- 
ing Protestantism,  England,  whose  morals  he 
accuses  of  being  so  bad,  came  in  his  way; 
or,  if  just  towards  Catholicism,  he  invalidated 
what  he  had  said  in  favor  of  the  Americans. 
It  is,  without  doubt,  under  this  embarrassment 
that  religion  is  seen  in  the  second  range  of  con- 
siderations presented  by  him  in  this  important 
matter. 

M.  de  Tocqueville  follows  the  young  Ameri- 
can into  the  married  state.  He  shows  her* 
"henceforth  sacrificing  this  freedom  that  she 
enjoyed  with  such  pleasure,  to  resign  herself  to 
the  home  that  is  entitled  to  the  name  of  clois- 
ter, such  is  to  be  the  austerity  of  her  life  !  "     He 

*  Work  already  cited,  p.  77. 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  133 

represents  her  as  a  sort  of  heroine,*  "  support- 
ing the  reverses  of  fortune  of  her  husband  with 
tranquillity  and  indomitable  energy."  And  he 
does  not  hesitate  to  attribute  these  marvellous 
results  tot  "the  domestic  education  she  has 
received, — that  is  to  say,  to  the  freedom  without 
limits  which  she  has  enjoyed  in  her  young  days, 
and  which  enabled  her  to  calculate  well  before- 
hand the  importance  of  the  act  which  she  con- 
summated in  marrying." 

Looking  back  on  the  picture  which  I  have 
presented  above,  one  may  see  that  the  judgment 
of  the  young  American  girl  is  far  from  being  so 
matured  as  M.  de  Tocqueville  imagines.  It 
has  its  intermissions,  and  may  perhaps  fail  here 
as  elsewhere.  The  marriages  ex  abrupto,  the 
misalliances,  the  unions  decided  by  aristocratic 
instincts,  and  the  large  number  of  divorces,  ren- 
der any  other  proof  needless. 

As  to  the  cloister  life,  and  the  sacrifice  of 
everything  by  the  married  woman,  I  regret  to 
lessen  the  interest  which  always  attaches  to 
devotion  and  resignation ;  but  the  page  of  his- 
tory should  not  borrow  from  fiction,  and  abso- 
lute truth  alone  should  find  place  here. 

It  must  be  admitted,  that  the  doors  of  the 

*  Work  already  cited,  p.  80.  \  Work  already  cited,  p.  77. 


134  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

cloister  are  but  poorly  fastened,  when  wives 
escape  every  day  for  visits,  walks,  and  the  thea- 
tre,—  in  a  word,  for  all  that  "corresponds  to 
European  life. 

I  remember  in  this  connection,  to  have  lis- 
tened to  a  sermon,  in  a  Presbyterian  church, 
by  a  learned  and  eloquent  preacher.  The 
sermon  turned  Upon  the  employment  of  their 
time  by  wives  and  young  girls.  The  sacred 
orator  spoke  with  guarded  and  dignified  firm- 
ness against  the  abuse  of  their  leisure  time  by 
the  American  women,  in  promenading  without 
purpose,  unless  that  of  displaying  their  extrav- 
agance, and  of  seeing  and  being  seen.  He  told 
them  that  there  was  something  better  to  do,  and 
called  their  attention  to  a  charitable  institution, 
which  received  a  certain  number  of  young  girls 
who  were  poor,  and  had  ever  need  of  counsel 
and  encouragement,  that  would  be  so  valuable 
to  them,  if  it  came  from  women  of  the  world 
who  had  no  professional  function  to  discharge 
with  them.  The  minister  recommended  ladies 
to  visit  this  institution,  and  others  of  similar 
character,  to  console  these  afflicted  ones.  It 
would  be,  next  to  their  domestic  duties,  the  best 
employment  of  their  time,  and  the  best  educa- 
tion for  the  young  girls  of  society. 

It  is  to  be  regretted,  that  M.  de  Tocqueville 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  135 

did  not  hear  this  touching  homily  upon  the  duty 
of  the  Christian  woman.  He  would  have  seen, 
that  we  are  far  away  from  that  cloister  which 
he  makes  us  dread  ;  and  that,  on  the  whole,  the 
English  woman  lives  much  more  retired  in  her 
cottage  than  the  American,  in  spite  of  her 
so-called  democratic  education. 

Here  is  another  statement*  "The  Ameri- 
cans," says  the  learned  author,  "  consider  mar- 
riage as  a  contract,  often  onerous,  but  which 
they  have  entered  upon  meaning  to  carry  out 
all  its  clauses  ;  because  there  has  been  full 
liberty  to  bind  themselves  to  nothing." 

An  eminent  judge,  in  the  United  States,  over- 
throws this  edifying  theory  by  saying,!  "  that,  in 
the  State  in  which  he  lh*s,  the  citizens  consider 
that  of  all  contracts  marriage  is  the  one  least 
binding ;  and  that  nothing  more  is  necessary 
to  dissolve  it  than  a  simple  petition  addressed 
to  the  competent  tribunal."  The  number  of 
divorces  declared  each  year,  with  the  long  list  of 
causes  which  induced  them,  more  than  prove 
that  this  remark  of  the  magistrate  is  applicable 
to  all  the  States  of  the  Union.  In  the  face  of 
these  facts,  which  are  indisputable,  what  becomes 
of  the  theory  of  M.  de  Tocqueville  ? 

*  Work  already  quoted,  p.  87. 

f  Bishop,  On  Marriage  and  Divorce,  §  290. 


136  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

The  author  does  not  conceal  his  wish,  that  the 
■wife    should  hold  an  equal   position  with   her 
husband,  and  he  says,  "The  social  movement 
which  brings  together  the  father  and  son,  the  ser- 
vant and  master,  elevates  the  woman,  and  ought 
to  do  it  more  and  more,  in  making  her  equal 
to  the  man."    I  have  expressed  this  view  above, 
as  M.  de  Tocqueville  has  done ;  but  it  seems 
that  the  movement  which  has  approached  ser- 
vant and   master  is  very  slow  in  producing   a 
similar  equality  between  husband  and  wife.     It 
must  be  admitted,  that  there  is  not  the  same 
connection  between   the  facts  of  practical  life 
as  between  the  ideas  of  the  author,  especially 
in  positions  so  dissimilar.     We  have  seen  above, 
how,  very  recently,  in*two  States,  the  Legisla- 
tures have  rejected  propositions  whose  object 
was  to  grant  to  woman  rights  the  most  moderate 
that  could  be  claimed  for  her.     And,  with  few 
exceptions,  general   opinion   has   persisted    in 
leaving  her  in  the  inferior  civil  position  she  has 
so  long  held.     Democratic  institutions,  we  see, 
are  much   less   favorable   to  woman  than   our 
French  ones,  called  monarchical.     If  it  is  in- 
sisted that  institutions  are  nothing  in  all  this, 
we  still  have  the  right   to  say  that   the  Frank 
race  is  more  advanced  in  civilization  than  the 
Anglo-Saxon,  recognizing  in  woman  a  mind  and 


MARRIAGE   IN  AMERICA.  137 

an  aptitude  which  cannot  be  doubted  ;  we  grant 
her  rights  in  accordance  with  her  faculties, 
whilst  they  are  obstinately  denied  her  the  other 
side  of  the  Channel  and  of  the  Atlantic. 

Yet  M.  de  Tocqueville  endeavors  to  maintain, 
that  the  position  of  woman,  such  as  it  is,  has  its 
advantages  ;  and  he  says,*  "In  no  country  has 
such  constant  care  been  taken  as  in  America  to 
trace  two  clearly  distinct  lines  of  action  for  the  two 
sexes,  and  to  make  them  keep  pace  one  with  the 
other ;  but  in  two  pathways  which  are  always  dif- 
ferent." He  thinks,  "  if,  on  the  one  hand,  an 
American  woman  cannot  escape  from  the  quiet 
circle  of  domestic  employments,  on  the  other 
hand  she  is  never  forced  to  go  beyond  it.  Hence 
it  is  that  the  women  of  America,  who  often  ex- 
hibit a  masuline  strength  of  understanding  and 
a  manly  energy,  generally  preserve  great  delicacy 
of  personal  appearance,  and  always  retain  the 
manners  of  women,  although  they  sometimes 
show  that  they  have  the  hearts  and  minds  of 
men." 

I  at  once  avow  that  I  do  not  admit  the  logical 
consequences  which  the  author  draws  from  his 
proposition.  How  does  the  necessity  for  the 
wife  to  occupy  herself  with  domestic  cares,  and 

*  Work  already  quoted,  p.  97. 


138  MARRIAGE   IN    AMERICA. 

not  being  drawn  from  them  for  other  occupa- 
tions, give  hei  such  judgment  and  energy  so  mas- 
culine ?  What  is  the  connection  between  these 
two  ideas  ?  But,  granting  the  justice  of  the 
reasoning,  why  should  it  not  be  recognized  in  the 
English  woman,  whose  situation  is  perfectly  iden- 
tical, possessing  the  same  virtues  and  the  same 
courage.  The  author  has  closely  observed  society 
in  England  and  in  America,  as  I  myself  have 
done,  and  he  cannot  say  that  the  English  is 
inferior  to  the  American  woman  in  those  quali- 
ties which  pertain  to  the  other  sex. 

If  the  same  results  are  produced  among  wo- 
men of  the  same  origin  in  countries  governed 
by  institutions  so  different,  what  has  democracy 
to  do  with  it  at  all. 

The  author  continues, #  "  The  Americans 
never  have  supposed  that  one  consequence 
of  democratic  principles  is  the  subversion  of 
marital  power,  or  the  confusion  of  the  natural 
authorities  in  families."  —  "  It  seems  to  me,"  he 
says  a  little  further  on,  "  that  the  American  wo- 
men attach  a  sort  of  pride  to  the  voluntary  sur- 
render of  their  own  will,  and  make  it  their  boast 
to  bend  themselves  to  the  yoke,  not  to  shake  it 
off."     He  finishes  these  remarks  by  observing, 

*  Work  already  cited,  p.  99.    Idem,  pp.  100,  ioi. 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  139 

"  In  the  United  States,  it  is  not  the  practice  for 
a  guilty  wife  to  clamor  for  the  rights  of  woman, 
while  she  is  trampling  on  her  holiest  duties." 

In  reading  these  passages,  which  are  literally 
transcribed,  I  seem  to  see  the  early  Spartan  mat- 
rons brought  to  life,  who  affected  a  stoicism 
that  has  so  long  been  held  up  to  us  as  the  beau 
ideal  of  life,  but  which  now-a-days  seems  simply 
an  excess  of  pride.  Very  fortunately,  the 
American  woman  is  not  thus  influenced,  and 
does  not  mar  her  happy  nature  by  the  assump- 
tion of  conventional  virtues  which  do  not  belong 
to  this  our  age.  At  the  domestic  hearth,  she 
has  her  proper  position,  but  she  desires  also  to 
have  her  place  in  the  world  ;  and,  if  the  instiga- 
tors of  reform  seek  to  make  it  too  great,  it  is 
the  fault  of  manners,  and  not  of  democratic 
institutions,  which  the  author  still  brings  in,  —  we 
know  not  why.  This  movement  of  reform  ex- 
ists everywhere,  —  in  the  atmosphere,  among  all 
classes  of  people,  There  is  nothing  in  it  which 
can  be  considered  anomalous  in  America. 

Must  a  woman  be  adulterous,  as  M.  de  Tocque- 
ville  seems  to  say,  in  order  to  claim  legitimate 
rights.  And  supposing  even  these  demands 
exaggerated,  and  •  the  form  in  which  they  are 
made  exorbitant,  as,  for  example,  the  protesta- 
tion made  by  Miss  Stone  in  her  contract  of 


140  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

marriage,*  these  eccentricities  do  not  in  any- 
way prove  immorality  on  the  part  of  those  who 
make  this  mistake.  The  breeze  is  towards 
reform,  and,  if  it  stirs  the  imagination,  it  does 
not  necessarily  affect  virtue. 

The  reform  movement  in  favor  of  women  gains 
ground ;  slowly,  it  is  true,  but  it  will  surely  obtain 
for  them  a  reasonable  amelioration  of  condition. 
In  practical  life,  we  may  already  see  an  emanci- 
pation, which  has  been  sufficiently  remarked 
upon,  and  aspirations  still  greater  hoped  for. 

It  is  precisely  the  opposite  of  the  life  of 
retirement  and  sacrifice  that  M.  de  Tocqueville 
has  shown  us. 

The  author  concludes  his  remarks  upon  this 
important  subject  by  the  following  :  f 

"As  for  myself,  I  do  not  hesitate  to  avow,  that,  although 
the  women  of  the  United  States  are  confined  within  the 
narrow  circle  of  domestic  life,  and  their  situation  is  in 
some  respects  one  of  extreme  dependence,  I  have  nowhere 
seen  women  occupying  a  loftier  position." 

The  author  undoubtedly  refers  to  what  he  has 
previously  said,  when  speaking  of  the  uncer- 
tainty of  American  fortunes,  where  he  repre- 
sents the  wives  "supporting  these  revolutions 
with  calm  and  unquenchable  energy,  following 

*  See  above,  p.  60.  t  Work  quoted,  p.  104. 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  141 

their  husbands  to  the  Western  wilds,  to  share 
with  them  the  countless  perils  and  privations 
which  always  attend  the  commencement  of 
these  expeditions."  —  *  "  I  have  often  met,  even 
on  the  verge  of  the  wilderness,  with  young 
women,  who,  after  having  been  brought  up 
amid  all  the  comforts  of  the  large  towns  of 
New  England,  had  passed,  almost  without  any 
intermediate  stage,  from  the  wealthy  abode  of 
their  parents  to  a  comfortless  hovel  in  a  forest. 
Fever,  solitude,  and  a  tedious  life  had  not 
broken  the  springs  of  their  courage.  Their 
features  were  impaired  and  faded,  but  their 
looks  were  firm  ;  they  appeared  to  be  at  once 
sad  and  resolute."  The  author  does  not  doubt, 
t "  that  these  young  American  women  had 
amassed  in  the  education  of  their  early  years 
that  inward  strength  which  they  displayed 
under  these  circumstances."  He  ends  by  say- 
ing, $  "  If  I  were  asked,  now  that  I  am  drawing 
to  the  close  of  this  work,  in  which  I  have 
spoken  of  so  many  important  things  done  by 
the  Americans,  to  what  the  singular  prosperity 
and  growing  strength  of  that  people  ought 
mainly  to  be  attributed,  I  should  reply,  To  the 
superiority  of  their  women." 

*  Idem,  pp.  80,  81.  t  Idem,  p.  8x.  I  Idem,  p.  104. 


142  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

I  imagine  that  Americans  who  have  read 
these  passages  in  the  original,  or  find  them  here 
for  the  first  time,  will  be  a  little  surprised  to 
learn  that  their  great  prosperity  is  owing  to  the 
superiority  of  their  women. 

I  certainly  shall  not  be  wanting  whenever 
homage  is  to  be  paid  to  the  virtues  and  all  good 
qualities  of  the  women  of  America.  But  to 
give  them  the  special  credit  of  the  great  success 
of  this  country  is  to  grant  them,  not  only  an 
exceptional,  but  a  general,  superiority  of  intel- 
lect to  their  husbands,  completely  at  variance 
with  the  observation  of  facts,  and  with  the 
nature  of  the  thing  itself.  It  does  not  agree 
with  what  several  teachers  of  the  higher 
schools  for  girls  told  me,  —  namely,  that  the 
exact  sciences  are  taught,  less  to  increase  their 
knowledge  than  to  counterbalance  the  natural 
unsteadiness  of  their  mind. 

I  admit,  with  M.  de  Tocqueville,  that  the 
American  women  are  capable  of  great  sacri- 
fices, and  perfect  resignation  in  the  face  of  mis- 
fortunes which  may  come  upon  their  husbands  ; 
and  that  they  possess  energy  sufficient  to  aid 
them  in  restoring  their  fortune,  not  by  any  abso- 
lute labor  (for  custom  prevents  that),  but  in 
following  them  in  the  midst  of  privations,  and 
exposure  to  the  diseases  of  desolate  countries 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  143 

where  they  take  refuge.  This  is  a  real  and 
undoubted  merit.  But  is  it  true  that  the  in- 
fluence of  a  democratic  education  can  alone  call 
forth  such  grand  qualities. 

The  author  says,  that  he  has  often  seen  examples 
of  self-denial  on  the  borders  of  the  wilderness. 
I  think  the  word  often  is  too  flattering  to  agree 
with  facts.  For  I  myself  have  also  visited  the 
West,  and  at  a  period  when  it  was  much  more 
widely  explored  than  at  the  time  of  M.  de 
Tocqueville's  visit  to  America,  and  I  may  say, 
that  the  examples  of  devotion  that  he  speaks  of 
seemed  to  be  very  rare  exceptions,  doubtless  not 
because  this  devotion  had  lessened,  but  that  the 
occasions  for  similar  sacrifices  are  fortunately 
less  common. 

If  we  must  take  literally  M.  de  Tocqueville's 
proposition  in  regard  to  the  influence  of  a  dem- 
ocratic and  Protestant  education  in  producing  so 
many  and  such  magnanimous  qualities,  we  can 
but  commiserate  women  who  are  born  and  forced 
to  live  under  different  institutions.  Catholicism 
especially,  which  has  been  thought  to  have  called 
forth  angelic  devotion  in  millions  of  cases 
amongst  women  of  all  conditions,  may  right- 
fully claim  —  and  perhaps,  if  appeal  is  made  to 
M.  de  Tocqueville  better  informed,  rather  than 
to  M.  de  Tocqueville  a  little  prejudiced,  it  will 


144  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

gain  —  for  its  flock  an  equality  of  position  with 
Protestant  women.  It  will  not  be  too  urgently 
claimed,  and  no  doubt  concession  will  be  given. 

But  let  us  pass  from  these  generalities,  and 
take  up  the  facts.  Did  M.  de  Tocqueville  see 
only,  in  America,  American  devotion  in  the  wo- 
men whom  he  met  on  the  borders  of  the  wilder- 
ness. Did  he  not  happen  to  meet  the  wives  of 
European  immigrants,  whom  misfortunes,  often 
unmerited,  had  driven  from  their  country  to  seek 
in  the  new  world  means  of  subsistence,  and  the 
hope  of  a  better  future. 

It  is  true,  the  large  majority  of  these  emi- 
grants have  never  known  opulence,  and  in  this 
respect  there  is  no  sacrifice  in  the  sense  which 
the  author  attaches  to  it.  But  a  certain  number 
have  been  in  easy  circumstances,  and  a  proof  of 
it  is  their  having  already  carried  more  than  half 
a  billion  of  our  money  to  the  United  States. 
Now,  the  wives  of  these  emigrants,  who  have 
accompanied  them,  had  themselves  to  experi- 
ence how  toilsome  and  hard  this  life  of  the 
wilderness  was.  Have  they  exhibited  less  cour- 
age or  less  resignation  than  the  Americans  ? 
No  one  would  dare  say  so.  And  yet  their  lot  is 
worse  than'  that  of  the  women  of  the  new  world. 
For  they  come  to  a  country  with  which  they  are 
unacquainted.     They  often  even  do  not  know 


MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA.  145 

the.  language.  And  they  were  forced  to  bid 
adieu,  perhaps  forever,  to  their  fathers,  mothers, 
brothers,  friends, —  to  all  in  this  world  which  holds 
our  most  cherished  affections.  For  them  it  is 
a  perpetual  exile  ;  which  it  is  not  for  the  Ameri- 
cans who  are  in  their  own  country,  and  who 
retain  the  hope  of  finally  returning  to  the  place 
which  gave  them  birth.  Shall  I  add,  that  some- 
thing still  more  painful  weighs  upon  the  exist- 
ence of  these  new-comers.  It  is  the  prejudice 
of  race  and  of  religion  which  pursues  them  con- 
stantly, and  gives  them  neither  peace  nor  rest  till 
after  a  long  period  of  acclimation.  Is  not  the 
devotion  of  these  women  still  more  grand  than 
that  of  the  American.  And  who  now  would 
think  of  saying  that  it  needed  a  strong  demo- 
cratic and  Protestant  education  to  produce  such 
masculine  virtues. 

But  let  us  look  at  another  point  of  compari- 
son, yet  more  striking,  and  which  comes  still 
nearer  home  to  us. 

All  the  world  preserves  the  remembrance  of 
the  great  catastrophe  of  the  French  at  St. 
Domingo.  The  colonists  were  either  of  noble 
family  or  rich  bourgeoisie,  and  when  the  massa- 
cre commenced  there  was  but  a  small  number 
of  these  unfortunates  who  could,  by  rapid  flight, 
amidst  a  thousand  dangers,  escape  this  butchery, 


146  MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA. 

and  in  fragile  vessels  reach  the  hospitable 
shores  of  the  United  States  and  of  Cuba. 
Reduced  to  the  greatest  extremity,  they  were 
obliged  to  work  for  their  living,  to  undergo  the 
greatest  privations,  sometimes  forced  to  accept 
subordinate  positions,  in  order  to  escape  death 
by  starvation  and  misery.  All,  or  at  least  the 
large  majority,  were  successful,  and  by  labor, 
privation,  and  economy  acquired,  if  not  wealth, 
at  least  an  honorable  competency.  In  the  midst 
of  these  uncommon  misfortunes,  the  women 
were  distinguished  by  their  moral  energy,  most 
complete  self-denial,  and  oblivion  of  a  past,  which, 
although  it  recalled  lost  pleasures,  could  not  abate 
their  courage.  If  M.  de  Tocqueville  could  have 
seen,  as  I  have,  in  Pennsylvania,  in  Carolina,  in 
Cuba,  some  of  the  noble  remains  of  an  immense 
shipwreck,  he  could,  as  I,  have  learned  with  an 
excusable  pride  the  honorable  position  which 
these  immigrants,  and  especially  the  women, 
occupied  in  public  opinion.  This  remembrance, 
wholly  French,  it  would  seem  to  me,  ought  to 
arrest  the  pen  of  the  learned  author,  and  pre- 
vent his  granting  the  American  woman,  from 
theory,  a  sort  of  monopoly  of  the  highest  virtues, 
due  according  to  him  to  the  democratic  educa- 
tion of  his  model. 

As   to   the  decisive    influence   of   American 


MARRIAGE    IX    AMERICA.  147 

women  upon  the  prosperity  and  wealth  of  the 
United  States,  after  all  that  I  have  said  in  this 
review  I  must  waive  the  discussion  of  a  propo- 
sition which  tends  to  too  greatly  ignore  the  hus- 
bands of  these  exceptional  women  ;  whilst  there 
is  evidence  to  prove  that  this  success  is  due  to 
the  indomitable  energy  of  the  American,  —  mar- 
ried or  single,  —  and  to  his  self-dependence, 
aided  by  a  multitude  of  external  circumstances, 
which  have  great  share  in  it. 

I  have  finished  this  too  long  controversy,  and 
I  would  sum  it  up  by  saying : 

i.  The  very  great  independence  of  the  young 
American  girl  is  mostly  due  to  the  race  to  which 
she  belongs,  to  the  religion  which  she  professes, 
and  to  the  traditions  brought  from  England. 
The  education  which  she  has  received  in  the 
midst  of  democracy  has  but  augmented  this 
disposition,  without  at  all  determining  it.  Wit- 
ness the  young  English  girls,  who  enjoy  the  same 
independence,  slightly  less  exaggerated. 

2.  Altogether,  the  education  of  the  young 
French  girl,  cautious  and  strict  as,  it  may  be 
considered,  does  not  cause  less  well-assorted 
matches  than  in  the  United  States,  where  di- 
vorces multiply. 

3.  The  condition  of  the  married  woman  in 
America,  in  spite  of  democratic  institutions,  is 


148  MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA. 

not  different  from  that  of  the  English ;  for  the 
laws  of  both  countries  refuse  them  civil  rights 
which  the  French  woman,  in  a  monarchy,  has 
enjoyed  for  a  long  time. 

4.  The  life  of  the  American  woman  is  not 
based  upon  a  sacrifice  :  she  enjoys  the  same 
liberty  as  the  women  of  Europe,  and  nowhere 
perhaps  is  luxurious  living  so  general  as  in  the 
new  world. 

5.  If  misfortunes  assail  the  American  women, 
undoubtedly  they  know  how  to  support  them 
with  courage,  and  make  very  great  sacrifices. 
But  numerous  examples  prove,  even  in  America 
itself,  that  the  women  of  Europe,  belonging  to 
another  race,  professing  another  religion,  brought 
up  in  monarchical  countries,  when  placed  in  sim- 
ilar positions  of  misfortune,  have  shown,  without 
ostentation,  a  courage,  a  resignation,  a  self- 
denial,  which  will  yield  in  nothing,  if  it  is  not 
superior,  to  the  virtues  of  the  Americans. 

6.  The  morals  of  the  family  in  France  are  not 
inferior  to  those  of  America.  The  statistics  of 
the  two  countries  give  us  even  an  advantage, 
which  I  will  not  call  for. 

7.  The  great  prosperity  of  the  Americans  has 
nothing  to  do  with  the  influence  of  the  women, 
as  I  have  repeatedly  proved  in  the  course  of  this 
essay.     The  credit  belongs  to  the  Americans 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  149 

themselves,  who  ought  in  justice  to  admit,  as  a 
very  efficacious  auxiliary,  the  concurrence  of  a 
multitude  of  circumstances,  fortunate  and  ex- 
ceptional,—  such,  I  believe,  as  no  other  people 
ever  met. 

8.  We  cannot  give  homage  to  democracy  for 
the  influence  upon  morals,  upon  woman,  and 
upon  the  family  which  M.  de  Tocqueville  attrib- 
utes to  it ;  because  we  find  elsewhere  than  in 
America,  under  the  sway  of  different  institutions, 
morals  as  good,  women  as  devoted,  and  families 
as  well  regulated. 

9.  Finally,  if  there  is  to  be  attributed  to  de- 
mocracy in  America  a  direct  influence  upon 
marriage,  upon  woman  and  the  family,  as  M.  de 
Tocqueville  asserts,  it  must,  in  view  of  the  facts 
which  have  been  stated  in  the  course  of  this 
essay,  be  admitted  that  this  influence  is  but 
an  unlimited  development  of  personal  indepen- 
dence,—  which  everywhere  and  always  consti- 
tutes a  dissolvent,  and  is  far  from  being  an 
agent  of  conservatism. 

The  great  differences  which  I  have  brought 
forward  between  M.  de  Tocqueville  and  myself 
should  create  in  the  mind  of  the  reader  a  desire 
to  ascertain  the  causes.  But  it  is  not  for  me  to 
enter  upon  this  path.  I  will  only  say,  that,  if 
modifications  in  morals  and  manners  in  America 


3  50  MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA. 

have  taken  place,  they  have  not  gone  so  far  as 
to  show  to-day  a  physiognomy  very  different 
from  that  which  they  had  when  the  author  ob- 
served them. 

In  fact,  I  stated  above,  that,  as  early  as 
1816,  —  fifteen  years  before  M.  de  Tocqueville's 
travel's,  —  the  President  of  Yale  College,  one 
of  the  most  important  universities  in  the  United 
States,  complained  bitterly  before  an  imposing 
assembly,  of  the  number  of  divorces  that  had 
already  been  noticed  in  Connecticut,  —  the  most 
Puritan  State  of  the  Union.  If,  in  18 16,  morals 
were  of  a  character  to  be  deservedly  censured, 
it  is  difficult  to  admit  that  they  could  escape 
the  careful  scrutiny  of  an  intelligent  observer. 
And,  on  the  other  hand,  if  he  had  remarked  them, 
What  becomes  of  his  theory  of  the  influence  of 
democracy  upon  the  morals  of  the  family  ? 

I  must  stop  here.  I  end  by  expressing  my 
deep  regret  at  these  differences  ;  but  I  show  the 
facts  and  proofs,  and  all  the  latter  are  of  Amer- 
ican origin,  and  therefore  undoubted,  as  the 
reader  will  admit.  I  shall  find  myself  once 
more  in  presence  of  M.  de  Tocqueville  upon  the 
ground  of  American  institutions  themselves, 
after  I  have  finished  the  subject  upon  which  I 
am  engaged.  Sometimes  I  shall  share  his  opin- 
ions, and  I  hope  that  such  may  be  the  case  as 


MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA.  151 

often  as  possible.  Sometimes  also,  I  shall 
disagree  with  him,  but  then,  as  now,  we  shall 
have  the  same  judge  to  decide.  I  shall  not 
bring  forward  such  disagreements  oftener  than 
there  be  necessity  for,  and  only  under  color  of 
conscientious  duty.  I  must  not  forget,  that,  if 
the  discussion  claims  courtesy,  history  requires 
truth  without  illusion. 


XXXV. 

Tendency  of  Morals  Fatally  Opposed  to  the  Purpose  of  Marriage. 

I  approach  here,  with  some  regret,  a  grave 
consideration,  which  is  intimately  associated  with 
the  object  of  marriage,  and  which  shows  a 
noticeable  alteration  of  the  morals  of  the  family 
in  the  United  States.  I  shall  not  generalize 
more  than  is  becoming,  and  God  forbid  that  I 
should  ever  make  a  whole  nation  accountable 
for  the  faults  of  a  few.  But,  when  men  placed 
in  situations  where  they  are  perfectly  acquainted 
with  facts  sound  the  alarm,  it  must  be  that  the 
evil  is  already  great,  and  threatening  to  become 
more  serious.  The  Americans,  like  the  English, 
have  well  understood  that  the  immediate  object 
of  marriage  is  paternity,  and,  at  the  same  time 


152  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

that  it  is  a  joy  for  the  domestic  hearth,  it  is  also 
an  abundant  source  of  wealth  for  the  country. 
Faithful  to  these  ideas,  the  American  people 
have  practised  fully  the  precept  of  Scripture, 
"  Increase  and  multiply ; "  so  that  there  is 
probably  no  nation  in  the  world  where  the 
increase  of  population  has  been  so  rapid  as  in 
the  United  States,  even  aside  from  European 
immigration,  which  has  added  to  this  number  in 
proportions  till  now  unheard  of. 

With  the  fortune  accruing  always  to  honor- 
able labor  and  prosperous  circumstances  is  felt 
the  desire  of  living  well,  and  even  of  luxury. 
And,  as  nothing  is  done  in  this  country  in  mod- 
eration, expenditure  is  carried  to  such  a  point 
of  exaggeration  and  folly  as  to  yield  in  no 
respect  to  the  luxury  of  Europe.  A  certain 
number  of  married  women,  who  had  remained 
a  long  time  domestic,  have  given  themselves  to 
this  frivolity  of  the  age ;  and,  being  obliged  to 
find  the  means  of  meeting  these  expenses,  and 
diminishing  the  cares  of  their  menage,  they  have 
come  to  economize  in  family.  If,  in  general,  the 
idea  of  economy  is  associated  intimately  with 
that  of  forethought,  it  is  quite  the  reverse  here. 
Improvidence  produces  regret,  and  regret  which 
is  antagonistic  to  the  family  provokes  to  crime. 
It  is  thus  that  we  see  mothers,  whom  a  legiti- 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  153 

mate  union  has  blest,  repudiating  the  gift  which 
God  has  granted  them,  and  suppressing,  without 
scruple,  maternity  in  its  hopes.  The  secrecy 
with  which  they  envelop  it  sufficiently  attests 
that  their  conscience  is  not  at  ease ;  but,  as  they 
have  their  husbands  as  abettors,  perhaps  they 
persuade  themselves  that  in  dividing  the  fault 
they  diminish  the  responsibility, —  a  *ad  state  of 
morality,  which,  if  it  gains  ground,  will  be  of  a  na- 
ture to  seriously  affect  the  character  of  the  nation. 
It  must  be  in  justice  said  to  the  honor  of  the 
medical  corps,  that  physicians,  little  as  they  may 
be  esteemed,  refuse  all  complicity  with  these 
criminal  practices,  and  openly  denounce  them. 
But  there  are  still  a  sufficient  number  of  men, 
physicians  or  not,  who  draw  large  profits  from 
this  criminal  business.  For  example,  in  New 
York,  some  twenty  physicians  —  or  those  calling 
themselves  so  —  are  named,  whose  whole  re- 
source consists  in  this,  and  whose  specialty  is 
recognized  by  a  particular  mark  attached  to  their 
names.  Moreover,  they  contrive  to  do  indi- 
rectly that  which  the  law  forbids.  Thus,  adver- 
tisements are  published  in  the  newspapers  of 
the  Union,  saying  that  one  must  be  careful  not 
to  take  certain  medicines  in  the  situation  denoted, 
which  signifies  that  they  are  recommended  in 
the  special  case. 


154  MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA. 

Without  at  all  seeking  to  justify  them,  we  can 
imagine  parents,  who,  wishing  at  any  price  to 
save  the  honor  of  their  daughter,  compromised 
in  a  moment  of  error,  would  silence  all  scruples, 
heedless  of  the  means  used,  to  escape  the  shame 
which  public  opinion  would  inflict  upon  her. 
But  that  such  practices  should  be  deliberately 
brought  into  marriage,  with  the  consent  and  un- 
der the  direction  of  the  husband,  for  a  deplora- 
ble object,  is  a  lamentable  subject  for  reflection, 
not  only  in  a  criminal  point  of  view,  but  because 
it  pollutes  the  mind  and  depraves  the  heart  of 
the  woman,  exposing  her,  if  not  to  death  (which 
sometimes  happens),  at  least  to  an  irremediable 
deterioration  of  health. 

Some  men  of  easy  morals  have  gone  so  far  as 
to  consider  the  man  who  denounces  this  im- 
morality not  only  as  singular,  but  even  imper- 
tinent. An  explanation  must  here  be  made, 
which  may  to  a  certain  extent  extenuate  the 
fault  of  some  mothers. 

The  Common  Law  of  England,  which  is  also  the 
Common  Law  of  the  United  States,  establishes 
in  this  matter  distinctions  for  determining  the 
commencement  of  life,  and  according  as  the 
attempt  was  anterior  or  subsequent  to  this  pe- 
riod there  was  or  was  not  offence  (delit)*     I 

*  Wharton,  On  American  Criminal  Law,  $  $  1220  and  following. 


MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA.  155 

make  use  of  this  latter  expression,  for  the  law, 
even  in  the  most  unfavorable  case,  does  not 
recognize  any  criminality :  it  is  but  a  simple 
offence.  Science  has,  however, ,  long  ago  dis- 
posed of  these  subtilties,  which  are  only  based 
upon  the  most  superficial  observations,  as  M. 
Orfila  has  so  well  proved  in  his  "  Traitc  de  Med- 
ecine  Legale."  * 

Experience  has  taught  the  same  in  England, 
and,  from  that  time,  the  legislator  has  been 
engaged  in  reforming  the  law.  This  has  been 
done  by  three  successive  Acts,  of  which  the  last, 
passed  in  the  reign  of  Queen  Victoria,  is  in 
conformity  with  the  basis  of  French  law.  But, 
in  America,  with  the  exception  of  three,  which 
have  more  or  less  filled  up  the  omissions  and 
defects  of  the  Common  Law,  the  several  States 
have  held  to  the  principles  laid  down  by  this 
law,  without  being  influenced  by  the  certainties 
which  science  has  given  to  public  morality. 
Yet  there  is,  aside  from  the  law,  an  intimate 
consciousness,  whose  empire  is  supreme,  and 
which  no  doubt  has  often  arrested  the  hand  put 
forth  to  commit  the  crime.  But  when  this  con- 
science strays,  it  must  be  brought  back  into  the 
path,  and  all  good  and  honest  hearts  ought  to 

*  Traits'  de  Medecine  Legale,  vol.  i.  p.  226. 


156         MARRIAGE  IN  AMERICA. 

unite  their  efforts  to  get  free  from  this  morbid 
atmosphere,  which  at  present  envelops  the 
family. 

Physicians  have  been  the  first  to  point  out  the 
evil,  and  some  of  them  have  taken  the  initiative 
by  Resolutions  whose  object  was  to  ask  of  the 
Legislatures  of  the  States  new  laws,  in  harmony 
with  recent  English  legislation. 

But  certain  people  have  arrived  at  such  a 
degree  of  hypocrisy,  that  the  medical  journal  in 
Boston  which  published  an  inquiry  of  this  char- 
acter was  absolutely  reprimanded  by  one  of  its 
confreres  and  by  private  letters,  as  if  publicity, 
which  is  the  soul  of  this  country,  was  not  the 
best  means  of  branding  these  lax  customs,  by 
denouncing  them  in  the  name  of  outraged 
morality.  We  may  be  satisfied  of  the  extent 
of  the  evil  by  consulting  the  "  Boston  Med- 
ical and  Surgical  Journal,"  to  which  I  have 
alluded,  —  numbers  for  13th  December,  1855; 
7th  and  28th  May,  1857.  One  of  these  articles 
gives  the  Report  of  a  meeting  of  a  medical  soci- 
ety of  Massachusetts  at  which,  after  the  exposi- 
tion of  grave  facts,  it  was  proposed  to  petition 
the  Legislature  for  energetic  repressive  meas- 
ures against  this  public  calamity.  Another 
journal  in  Boston,  more  especially  devoted  to 
religious    affairs,  the   "  Boston    Traveller,"   of 


MARRIAGE    IN   AMERICA.  157 

June,  1857,  in  speaking  of  the  action  of  another 
medical  society  upon  this  subject,  strongly  con- 
demns these  same  practices.  Finally,  the  "  Chi- 
cago Tribune,"  of  June  13,  1857  (an  influential 
paper  of  the  West),  denounces  them  as  increas- 
ing, and  calling  for  severe  measures  to  repress 
them. 

There  is,  however,  a  document  coming  from 
another  point  of  the  United  States,  which  com- 
pletes the  evidence  upon  this  grave  subject.  I 
speak  of  an  opening  address  delivered  by  a 
much  esteemed  Professor  of  one  of  the  principal 
medical  schools  of  the  United  States.*  This 
discourse,  which  is  the  introductory  to  the  ses- 
sion of  1854-55,  treats  of  the  subject  in  extcnso. 
I  quote  the  original,  omitting  a  few  passages : 

"  We  blush,  while  we  record  the  fact,  that  in  this  coun- 
try, in  our  cities  and  towns,  in  this  city,  where  literature, 
science,  morality,  and  Christianity  are  supposed  to  have 
so  much  influence,  where  all  the  domestic  and  social  vir- 
tues are  reported  as  being  in  full  and  delightful  exercise, 
even  here,  individuals,  male  and  female,  exist,  who  are 
continually  imbruing  their  hands  and  consciences  in  the 
blood  of  unborn  infants.  ...  So  low  is  the  moral  sense 
of  the  community  on  this  subject,  so  ignorant  are  the 
greater  number  of  individuals,  that  even  mothers,  in  many 


*  On  Criminal  Abortion,  by  Hugh  L.  Hodge,  M.D.     Philadelphia, 
1854. 


158  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

instances,  shrink  not  from  the  commission  of  this  crime, 
but  will  voluntarily  destroy  their  own  progeny,  in  violation 
of  every  natural  sentiment,  and  in  opposition  to  the  laws 
of  God  and  man.  Perhaps  there  are  few  individuals  in 
extensive  practice  as  obstetricians  who  have  not  had  fre- 
quent applications  made  to  them  by  the  fathers  or  mothers 
of  unborn  children  (respectable  and  polite  in  their  general 
appearance)  to  destroy  the  fruit  of  illicit  pleasure,  under 
the  vain  hope  of  preserving  their  reputation  by  this  un- 
natural and  guilty  sacrifice. 

"  Married  women  also,  from  the  fear  of  labor,  from 
indisposition  to  have  the  care,  the  expense,  or  the  trouble 
of  children,  or  some  other  motive  equally  trifling  or  de- 
grading, have  solicited  that  the  embryo  should  be  destroyed 
by  their  medical  attendant.  And,  when  such  individuals 
are  informed  of  the  nature  of  the  transaction,  there  is  an 
expression  of  real  or  pretended  surprise  that  any  one 
should  deem  the  act  improper ;  much  more,  guilty  :  yea, 
in  spite  even  of  the  solemn  warning  of  the  physician,  they 
will  resort  to  the  debased  and  murderous  charlatan,  who 
for  a  piece  of  silver  will  aid  them  in  the  commission  of  the 
crime,  at  the  risk  of  the  life  of  the  ignorant  or  guilty  mother. 

"  This  low  estimate  of  the  importance  of  the  condition 
is  by  no  means  restricted  to  the  ignorant  or  to  the  lower 
classes  of  society.  The  evil  affects  educated,  refined,  and 
fashionable  women  ;  yea,  in  many  instances,  women  whose 
moral  character  is  in  other  respects  without  reproach. 
The  contagion  has  reached  mothers  who  are  devoted 
with  an  ardent  and  self-denying  affection  to  the  children 
who  already  constitute  their  family." 

The  Professor  finishes  by  saying : 

"  In  view  of  the  influence  which  medical  science  must 
exert  on  these  questions,  it  seems  hardly  necessary  to  re- 


MARRIAGE    IN    AMERICA.  159 

peat,  that  physicians,  medical  men,  must  be  regarded  as 
the  guardians  of  the  rights  of  infants.  They  alone  can 
rectify  public  opinion  ;  they  alone  can  present  the  subject 
in  such  a  manner,  that  legislators  can  exercise  their  pow- 
ers aright  in  the  preparation  of  suitable  laws,  that  moral- 
ists and  theologians  can  be  furnished  with  facts  to  enforce 
the  truth  on  this  subject  upon  the  moral  sense  of  the 
community,  especially  the  upper  classes,  in  order  to  cor- 
rect forever  such  habits,  by  making  fathers  and  mothers 
comprehend  their  responsibility  under  these  circum- 
stances."* 

I  finish  my  quotations  here,  notwithstanding 
the  interest  presented  by  the  whole  address. 

If,  besides  these  American  testimonies,  another 
should  be  needed  of  European  origin,  I  could 
cite  a  statistical  work  published  in  1856  by  M. 
Ambroise  Tardieu,  a  distinguished  physician  of 
the  Faculty  of  Paris,  a  work  intended  to  show 
the  condition  of  criminality  in  France  upon  this 
special  point,  t  The  author,  after  having  shown 
the  facts  which  he  has  collected  among  our- 
selves, compares  them  with  similar  ones  which 
he  had  seen  in  New  York,  and  arrives  at  the 


*  This  introductory  lecture  was  also  delivered  to  the  class  of  1839, 
and  by  them  printed.  The  quotations  are  nearly  in  the  words  of  the 
original.  Dr.  H.  R.  Storer's  Prize  Essay  on  this  subject,  lately  pub- 
lished, may  well  be  mentioned  here  as  worthy  of  perusal.  —  Note  by 
Translator. 

t  Annales  d'Hygifcne  Publique  et  de  Medecine  Legale,  2  serie,  t.  v. 
p.  113,  et  suiv. 


160  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

conclusion,  "that  the  crimes  of  this  sort  which 
are  committed  in  the  latte*  city  are  proportion- 
ably  much  more  numerous  than  in  France." 

In  making  the  Official  Reports  in  New  York 
his  basis,  M.  Tardieu  has  omitted  to  notice  two 
important  points,  which  would  have  thrown  a 
more  vivid  light  upon  his  investigation,  and 
brought  his  calculations  nearer  the  real  state  of 
affairs.  First  of  all,  it  must  be  said  that  the 
police  of  New  York,  who  determine  the  facts 
considered  as  crimes  or  misdemeanors,  being 
the  most  inefficient  of  all  police,  many  misdeeds 
remain  unknown,  or  are  voluntarily  left  in  the 
dark.  Moreover,  the  distinctions  of  the  Com- 
mon Law  of  England  acquitting  deeds  that  in 
France  are  considered  criminal,  there  necessa- 
rily remains  behind  the  statistics  and  the  Official 
Reports  a  large  number  of  cases  which,  never- 
theless, increases  this  special  record  of  Amer- 
ican criminality,  and  shows  still  plainer  the 
gravity  of  the  evil. 

I  think  that  in  France  such  a  crime  is  not 
committed,  except  to  conceal  a  misdeed,  which 
does  not  therefore  imply  the  complicity  of  the 
husband,  —  a  very  important  fact  to  be  noticed. 

Nothing  less  than  the  consideration  of  ren- 
dering a  service  to  the  Americans  induced  me 
to  publish  these  observations,  and   I  shall   be 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  161 

only  too  glad,  if,  in  response  to  the  public  ap- 
peal of  the  learned  Professor  from  which  I  have 
quoted,  I  could  aid  the  honorable  and  persevering 
efforts  of  the  physicians  of  the  United  States, 
who  lament  this  state  of  things,  and  wish  for  the 
power  to  put  an  end  to  it.  This  great  forbear- 
ance of  society  in  not  inflicting  punishment 
must  cease.  And,  besides,  the  penalties  only 
reach  those  least  patronized,  which  forms  an 
aristocracy  in  the  crime,  and  is  another  privilege 
for  democracy. 


XXXVI. 

Model  Families. 

I  finish  by  saying,  that  in  the  midst  of  this 
lax  morality  there  are  still  found  in  the  United 
States  a  large  number  of  excellent  families, 
where  patriarchal  traditions  are  unchanged,  and 
who  are  happy  in  all  the  children  that  God 
has  sent  them.  Their  life  is  at  the  same  time 
simple  and  dignified.  They  may  serve  as  types ; 
for  they  admirably  combine  self-respect,  great 
purity  of  morals,  observation  of  religious  duties, 
paternal  authority,  filial  deference,  an  intimate 
and   touching  union   of   the   members   of  the 


162  MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA. 

family,  order,  well-directed  economy,  and  all  the 
qualities  of  the  true  citizen. 

It  is  worthy  of  observation  that  these  qualities 
are  most  marked  among  savants,  men  of  letters, 
professors,  counsellors,  and  physicians  of  distinc- 
tion. Among  them  the  moral  qualities  are,  so 
to  speak,  the  cortege  oblige  of  true  talent.  One 
never  sees  among  them,  as  we  have  seen  in 
France,  men  of  undoubted  talent  and  recog- 
nized worth,  establishing  almost  as  a  maxim, 
that  a  great  development  of  intellectual  qualities 
may  comport  with  eccentricities  of  conduct, — 
which  are,  as  it  were,  the  most  certain  proof  of 
its  existence. 

This  laxity  of  manners  is  ingenious  in  its 
means  of  justification,  but  it  has  not,  for- 
tunately, the  power  of  any  great  expansion.  We 
congratulate  the  eminent  men  of  America  in  not 
having  adopted  maxims  so  easy,  and  in  having 
sacredly  preserved  the  solid  virtues  indispensa- 
ble to  men  of  distinction  ;  for  we  must  not 
forget :   talent  oblige. 

I  was  so  fortunate  as  to  know  intimately  some 
of  the  remarkable  families  of  whom  I  have 
spoken  above,  and  I  would  render  them  this 
public  homage  as  a  compensation  for  the  blame 
of  those  who  are  so  far  from  these  worthy 
models.     These  families  remain  as  the  hope  of 


MARRIAGE   IN   AMERICA.  163 

a  better  future  for  a  society  that  requires  only- 
courageous  and  devoted  leaders,  preaching  by 
example,  and  striving  to  follow  faithfully  the 
founders  of  this  country. 


APPENDIX. 


I. 


On  the  Marriage  of  Ministers. — The  Ceremony  Performed  by 
Themselves. 

I  mentioned,  at  page  37,  the  marriage  of  a 
Protestant  minister  in  England,  the  ceremony 
being  performed  by  himself,  and  declared  valid 
by  the  Court  of  the  Queen's  Bench. 

An  union  like  this  occurred  in  the  United 
States,  which  I  will  describe ;  and  it  is  not  a 
solitary  example.  A  journal  published  in  the 
West,  the  "  Chicago  Tribune,"  Jan.  3, 1857,  thus 
relates  the  case  of  which  I  speak : 

"  The  congregation  of  the  Presbyterian  church  of  Cum- 
berland, at  Louisville,  was  singularly  astonished  a  few 
days  ago.  During  the  evening  service,  the  pastor,  Rev. 
Mr.  Newman,  after  the  sermon  preached  by  himself  to  his 
hearers,  descended  from  the  pulpit,  and  approached  a 
voung  lady  in  the  audience,  to  whom  he  was  engaged. 
The  assembly  waiting,  he  himself  went  through  the  usual 
formalities  of  the  ceremony,  and  was  duly  and  lawfully 
married." 


166  APPENDIX. 

Is  it  not  strange  to  see  a  pastor  putting  ques- 
tions to  himself,  and  making  responses  to  sig- 
nify his  consent  ?  What  would  the  Romans  say, 
such  formalists  as  they  were,  were  they  to  return 
among  us,  and  see  ceremonies  so  expeditious, 
and  so  little  calculated  to  insure  the  guaranty 
of  freedom  and  choice  on  the  part  of  the 
woman  ? 


II. 

Upon  Manners  at  Watering  Places. 

I  spoke,  page  69,  of  the  dissipated  life  at 
watering  places;  but  I  forgot  a  circumstance, 
curious  enough  to  be  worth  relating  here  on 
account  of  its  authenticity. 

I  remember  having  met  in  the  cars,  at  the  end 
of  the  summer- of  1856,  a  Protestant  minister, 
who,  like  myself,  was  returning  from  Saratoga 
Springs,  —  a  place  greatly  frequented  by  the 
Americans  of  all  ranks.  This  divine,  perceiving 
that  I  was  a  stranger,  addressed  me,  and  we  fell 
into  conversation.  He  spoke  of  the  chapter  of 
manners  that  we  had  been  witness  to,  and  did 
not  conceal  the  fact,  that  the  extravagance  and 
life  of  folly  and  dissipation  that  we  had  observed 


APPENDIX.  1G7 

was  not  new  to  him,  that  it  was  constantly 
increasing,  and  very  dangerous  to  domestic 
life.  I  informed  him  that  I  had  recently  read 
in  a  paper  ("  Baltimore  Sun,"  Feb.  2,  1856), 
"  that  married  men  and  women  now-a-days  gave 
themselves  up  to  flirtation,  like  young  people  ;  " 
and  that,  in  proof,  the  journalist  appealed  to  a 
passage  in  another  American  paper,  from  a  dif- 
ferent State  than  Maryland.  "  These  easy  mor- 
als," according  to  these  two  newspapers,  "  are 
increasing,  and  it  is  time  to  apply  some  remedy." 

The  pastor  answered  me,  "  that  the  fact  was 
unfortunately  true,  and  that  fashionable  people 
were  only  too  inclined  to  copy  the  manners  of 
Europe." 

He  added,  "  that,  for  himself,  the  stay  at  the 
Springs  had  for  its  special  object  the  study  of 
manners,  to  which  he  devoted  himself  each  year, 
varying  the  place  of  his  observation ;  and  that 
he  always  noticed  something  new,  of  which  he 
took  note."  After  returning  home,  he  recalled 
his  remembrances,  arranged  them,  and  so  made 
material  for  one  or  more  sermons  for  his  hearers. 
He  thought  that  in  this  way  he  was  of  greater 
service  to  them  than  if  his  teachings  were  always 
in  too  general  terms.  For,  attacking  hand  to 
hand  the  facts  of  the  day  which  he  had  wit- 
nessed, he  had   more  influence   in   combating 


168  APPENDIX. 

them,  and  preventing  their  increase  and  exten- 
sion. 

III. 

Increase  of  the  Number  of  Female  Ministers  of  Religion. 

While  this  book  was  in  press,  there  came  to 
hand  an  American  newspaper  of  quite  recent 
date  ("The  New  York  Semi-weekly  Times," 
Feb.  14,  i860),  and  I  there  saw,  contrary  to 
the  supposition  which.  I  had  expressed,  page 
83,  that  the  number  of  female  ministers  and 
preachers  is  already  quite  large,  which  gives  a 
reason  for  believing  that  the  various  congrega- 
tions or  sects  have  followed  the  way  opened  by 
the  Presbyterians,  and  that,  like  them,  they  have 
not  hesitated  to  confer  the  sacred  office  upon 
females.  It  is  one  step  further  away  from  the 
traditions  of  the  Puritans. 


IV. 

Statistics  Concerning  the  Mormons. 

I   will    say  nothing  of  the    doctrines   of  the 
Mormons,  that  I  may  not  shock  the  reader.     1 


APPENDIX.  169 

would  merely  place  before  him  the  statistics  of 
the  number  of  legitimate  wives  belonging  to 
the  members  of  the  Legislature  of  the  Territory 
of  Utah.*  This  Territory,  where  the  Mormons 
live,  has  not  yet  fulfilled  the  conditions  requisite 
to  be  admitted  as  a  State  into  the  American 
Union.  It  is  only  a  Territory,  —  that  is  to 
say,  a  preparatory  organization,  —  but  governed 
by  a  Legislature  composed  of  a  council  (or 
senate)  and  a  chamber  of  representatives,  and 
by  an  executive  power  in  the  person  of  a 
Governor  appointed  by  the  President  of  the 
Union. 

The  members  composing  these  three  powers 
were,  in  1856,  all  Mormons,  —  even  the  Governor. 
They  practised  polygamy  to  a  great  extent,  of 
which  an  idea  can  be  formed  by  the  list  which 
was  given  by  a  journal,  the  "  San  Francisco 
Herald,"  in  a  letter  dated  Sept.  15,  1856,  ad- 
dressed to  it  from  Fillmore  City,  a  part  of  this 
territory. 

According  to  this  letter,  Brigham  Young,  the 
Governor,  had  sixty-eight  wives  living. 

The  thirteen  members  of  the  Council,  or  Sen- 
ate, had  a  hundred  and  seventy-one ;  of  these, 
fifty-seven  were  for  the  President  himself.     All 

*  See  New  York  Tribune,  Dec.  29,  1857. 


1 70  APPENDIX. 

are  spoken  of  by  name  as  stooping  more  or  less, 
purblind,  and  prematurely  old. 

The  twenty-six  members  of  the  Chamber  of 
Representatives  had  a  hundred  and  fifty-seven 
wives  living,  without  speaking  of  those  already 
deceased.  Several  of  these  Representatives  are 
stated  to  be  already  old.  One  of  them  had 
among  his  wives  three  sisters. 

Finally,  five  employes  attached  to  the  Cham- 
ber, including  the  chaplain,  had  twenty-two 
wives.     The  chaplain  had  seven  for  himself. 

To  sum  it  up,  the  two  powers,  legislative  and 
executive,  represented  by  forty-five  persons,  had 
in  all  four  hundred  and  twenty  wives. 


Sect  of  the  Shakers.* 

This  is  the  substance  of  the  doctrine  of  the 
Shakers : 

Towards  the  end  of  the  eighteenth  century, 
there  was  formed  in  England,  not  far  from  Man- 
chester, a  sect  composed  of  a  small  number  of 
individuals  who  believed  that  they  saw  by  certain 

*  A  Summary  View  of  the  Millennial  Church,  passim.  Albany,  1 843. 


APPENDIX.  171 

signs,  that  the  will  of  God  was  again  revealed. 
Soon  a  woman,  by  the  name  of  Ann  Lee, 
declared  that  the  divine  light  had  appeared  to 
her,  and  that  she  had  the  mission  to  diffuse  it. 
The  subject  of  this  revelation  was  celibacy, 
which  according  to  her  was  en  germe  in  the 
New  Testament,  but  had  been  trodden  down 
by  men,  and  ought  to  be  resuscitated  and 
taught,  to  gain  the  greatest  number  of  souls.  It 
was  under  these  circumstances,  that  the  "  United 
Believers  "  (such  was  the  denomination  of  the 
sect)  went  over  to  America,  in  the  hopes  of 
promulgating  their  doctrines.  There  they  pro- 
claimed the  law  anew,  developed  it,  and  called 
forth  opposition  in  order  to  gain  glory  by  van- 
quishing it.  The  ideas  of  the  new  believers  are 
briefly  these : 

Everything  in  the  universe  presents  the  idea 
of"the  two  sexes.  God  himself  has  this  double 
character.  He  is  by  himself,  it  is  true,  but  is 
perfected  by  the  divine  chastity  which  is  the 
feminine  attribute  of  his  being.  God  created 
man  and  woman  in  his  image,  dividing  the  attri- 
butes which  he  united  in  himself.  He  ordained 
them  to  live  according  to  his  law,  but  Adam  and 
Eve  transgressed  ;  hence  their  fall,  which  brought 
all  the  evils  which  humanity  has  suffered  in  con- 
sequence.     Generation  being  the  cause  of  the 


172 


APPENDIX. 


fall,  a  regeneration  is  needed,  not  only  of  the 
flesh,  but  also  of  the  spirit.  Jesus  Christ  was 
sent  upon  the  earth  to  do  this  ;  but,  taking  th,a 
form  of  a  man,  his  mission  remained  incomplete. 
Hence  the  departure  afterwards  from  his  divine 
precepts.  A  second  revelation  was  needed  — 
this  time  in  the  form  of  woman  —  to  complete 
the  work  of  Christ ;  and  Ann  Lee  was  chosen  for 
this  great  mission.  It  is  not  the  first  time  that 
God  has  made  choice  of  a  woman  to  carry  out 
his  designs.  Thus  Miriam  was  employed  to  aid 
Moses  and  Aaron  in  the  deliverance  of  the 
Children  of  Israel,  then  slaves  in  Egypt.  Later, 
Deborah  the  prophetess,  had  a  similar  mission 
in  the  time  of  the  Judges.  Moreover,  man 
and  woman  being  elevated  in  the  spiritual 
creation  from  a  natural  to  a  spiritual  state 
of  being,  it  is  necessary  that  the  head  of  the 
church  should  participate  of  both  sexes,  with- 
out which  this  design  would  be  incomplete. 

To  render  herself  worthy  of  this  high  mission, 
Ann  Lee,  who  was  married,  abandoned  her  hus- 
band, whose  presence  before  her  would  have 
been  an  obstacle  to  the  realization  of  her  work 
and  the  practice  of  the  doctrine.  As  a  virgin, 
she  would  have  had  no  merit  in  exclusively  de- 
voting herself  to  God,  and  in  making  a  sacrifice 
the  price  of  which  she  was  ignorant.     Married, 


APPENDIX.  173 

it  was  an  immolation  of  the  flesh,  which  she 
offered  as  a  holocaust  to  the  Supreme  Being. 
She  performed  it  resolutely,  to  give  to  others  a 
salutary  example. 

Here,  now,  are  the  discussions  which  the  doc- 
trine of  the  Shakers  has  given  rise  to. 

They  say,  "  Adam  and  Eve  fell  into  sin  be- 
cause they  listened  to  the  suggestions  of  the 
serpent,  —  that  is  to  say,  the  demon  of  tempta- 
tion. Their  fault  was  yielding  to  sensuality  for 
itself,  instead  of  simply  obeying,  like  the  beings 
of  the  animal  and  vegetable  kingdoms,  an  order 
of  things  intimately  associated  with  the  periodic 
return  of  the  seasons.  God  has  punished  the 
woman,  the  indirect  cause  of  the  evil,  in  saying 
to  her,  '  In  sorrow  thou  shalt  bring  forth  chil- 
dren, and  thy  desire  shall  be  to  thy  husband, 
and  he  shall  rule  over  thee.'  The  selection 
of  the  punishment  indicates  the  cause  of  the 
evil.  It  follows  that,  the  union  of  the  man  and 
woman  continually  offering  the  same  tempta- 
tions, celibacy  is  the  only  means  of  regenera- 
tion." 

14  But,"  says  some  one  to  the  Shakers,  "  the 
Patriarchs  were  married  ;  had  children,  even  by 
slaves  ;  some  had  several  wives ;  and  yet  they 
pleased  God,  who,  moreover,  gave  them  this 
command,  '  Increase  and  multiply.'  " 


1 74  APPENDIX. 

"  That  is  true,"  reply  the  United  Believers : 
"the  Patriarchs  obeyed  transitory  laws,  which 
God  gave  them ;  but  they  were  the  laws  of 
circumstance,  and  undoubtedly  they  carried  them 
out  differently  and  better  than  Adam,  and,  as 
the  Patriarchs  had  faith,  they  were  saved.  At 
this  epoch,  the  doctrines  of  Christ  were  not 
proclaimed." 

"This  reasoning,"  replies  some  one,  "grant- 
ing that  it  is  admissible  for  the  Patriarchs,  can- 
not apply  to  the  early  Christians,  who  received 
the  doctrine  directly  or  indirectly  from  Christ, 
and  did  not  live  in  celibacy.  You  cannot  deny 
that  St.  Paul  admitted  marriage  in  express  terms 
(Epistle  to  the  Corinthians)." 

"  St.  Paul,"  reply  the  Shakers,  "  admits  mar- 
riage as  a  last  resort,  solely  to  avoid  the  sin  of 
incontinence.  Thus,  he  said  to  the  Corinthians, 
1  But,  if  they  cannot  contain,  let  them  marry ;  for 
it  is  better  to  marry  than  to  burn '  (chap.  vii.  ver.  9). 
The  question  so  put,  the  choice  of  the  Corin- 
thians could  not  be  uncertain.  But  St.  Paul 
previously  proclaimed,  in  the  first  verse  of  the 
same  chapter,  '  that  it  was  good  for  a  man  not 
to  marry.'  And,  in  the  eighth  verse,  he  repeats 
the  same  counsel  to  unmarried  men  and  to  wid- 
ows, which  proves  that  the  state  of  celibacy  is  the 
only  really  pure  one,  and  in  conformity  with  the 


APPENDIX.  1 75 

will  of  God.  Then,  in  speaking  of  marriage, 
St.  Paul  means  a  marriage  more  spiritual  than 
otherwise,  as  is  proved  by  several  passages, 
especially  chap.  xi.  ver.  2,  where  he  says  to 
the  woman,  '  For  I  am  jealous  over  you  with 
godly  jealousy;  for  I  have  espoused  you  to  one 
husband,  that  I  may  present  you  as  a  chaste 
virgin  to  Christ.'  What  does  this  chastity 
signify,  if  we  take  marriage  in  its  common 
acceptation  ? " 

But  it  is  said  and  insisted  upon,  "  If  we  admit 
the  doctrine  of  celibacy,  the  human  race  would 
disappear  in  less  than  a  century,  and  till  then 
all  family  ties  would  be  broken." 

The  reply  of  the  new  believers  is  this : 

"  The  pretty  general  opinion  is,  that  the  world 
will  be  destroyed  by  fire.  Now,  is  it  not  better 
to  follow  the  gospel,  and  purify  its  deeds  by  the 
quickening  fire  of  its  precepts,  than  to  expose  it 
to  perish  by  the  fire  of  celestial  vengeance  ? 

"As  respects  the  family,  if  in  the  state  of 
nature  marriage  may  be  useful,  perhaps  even 
necessary  to  regulate  the  relations  of  men,  in  a 
spiritual  point  of  view  it  must  be  rejected,  first, 
because  the  family  engenders  selfishness,  and 
lowers  the  noble  impulses  of  the  heart  to  the  limits 
of  a  small  circle,  instead  of  extending  them  to 
all  the  human  race.     And  then,  did  not  Jesus 


176  APPENDIX. 

Christ  say  to  those  who  asked  him  with  regard 
to  the  lot  of  a  woman  whose  husband  was  dead, 
'  The  children  of  this  world  marry,  and  are  given 
in  marriage  \  but  they  which  are  accounted 
worthy  to  obtain  that  world,  and  the  resurrection 
from  the  dead,  neither  marry,  nor  are  given  in 
marriage '  (St.  Luke,  chap.  xx.  ver.  34,  35)." 


VI. 

With  Regard  to  the  Number  of  Divorces. 

I  have  estimated,  page  131,  the  number  of 
divorces  annually  granted  in  the  United  States 
at  about  three  thousand,  and  I  believe  I  am 
below  the  truth  ;  for  there  are  thirty-three 
States,  without  counting  several  Territories.  I 
gave,  page  11 1  and  following,  the  statistical 
inquiries  in  several  States.  Here  are  various 
extracts  which,  with  the  others,  make  my  deduc- 
tions still  stronger : 

The  "  New  York  Herald,"  one  of  the  most 
widely  circulated  papers  in  the  Union,  in  its 
number  for  March  25,  1850,  speaks  "of  hun- 
dreds of  applications  for  divorce  which  were 
then  before   the   Legislatures   of  the   different 


ArPENDIX.  177 

States,  and  says  that  Maryland  and  Pennsylva- 
nia (two  old  States,  ranking  among  the  most 
important  of  the  Union)  were  privileged  in 
having  the  majority  of  these  sort  of  affairs." 

The  "  Courier  des  Etats-Unis,"  a  French 
journal,  the  most  important  of  all  those  pub- 
lished in  this  language  in  America,  said  in  its 
number  for  Dec.  5,  1855,  that  the  Supreme 
Court  of  the  little  State  of  Rhode  Island,  one 
of  the  oldest  in  the  Union,  granted  thirty-six 
applications  for  divorce  in  its  last  session,  and 
these  for  the  inhabitants  of  only  one  county  of 
the  State,  the  County  of  Providence  ;  and  it 
adds,  "  Judge  from  this  of  the  number  of  those 
who  dispense  with  this  legal  formality." 

The  same  fact  is  confirmed  by  a  paper  called 
the  "Cincinnati  Sun"  (Ohio),  Dec.  11,  1855. 

From  a  Philadelphia  journal,  the  "  Philadel- 
phia Ledger,"  of  March  5,  1856,  we  see  that  the 
Supreme  Court  of  Vermont,  one  of  the  oldest 
and  most  Puritan  States  in  the  Union,  granted 
during  a  single  session,  nine  applications  for 
divorce,,  for  the  small  county  of  Rutland 
alone. 

Finally,  the  "Boston  Journal"  for  April  20, 
1857,  reports  that  the  Supreme  Court  of  Massa- 
chusetts had  granted  seven  divorces  in  two  days 
for  the  County  of  Middlesex  alone. 


1 78  APPENDIX. 

I  might  add  to  -these  quotations,  but  it  would 
be  superfluous.  I  desired  only  to  establish  the 
fact,  that  divorces  multiplied  as  well  in  the  older 
States  as  in  the  new,  and  that  my  remarks  were 
as  applicable  to  the  Puritan  States  as  to  the 
others. 


VII. 

Upon  the  Increase  of  Population  in  the  United  States. 

According  to  the  various  official  and  non- 
official  statistics,  all  founded  upon  more  or  less 
inexact  basis,  yet  giving  approximative  informa- 
tion, we  may  consider  that  the  population  of  the 
United  States  increases  annually  in  a  ratio  much 
higher  than  in  the  countries  of  Europe,  even 
disregarding  immigration.  A  gentleman  quite 
distinguished  both  as  a  historian  and  an  econo- 
mist, the  Hon.  Mr.  Tucker,  has  published  an 
interesting  work  *  upon  the  increase  of  popula- 
tion in  this  country,  in  which  he  has  tabled  its 
progress,  in  periods  of  ten  years,  according  to 
each  decennial  census,  and  he  makes  out  the 
following  ratios  : 

*  Progress  of  the  United  States  in  Population  and  Wealth  in  Fifty 
Years,  Part  I.  pp.  ioi,  ro3,  et  passim;  Part  II.  p.  26. 


APPENDIX. 

1 

'rom  1790  to  1800 

• 

33-9 

"   iSco  to  1810 

•  33-i 

"   1810  to  1820 

. 

32.1 

"   1820  to  1S30 

. 

.  30.9 

"   1S30  to  1S40 

. 

29.6 

"   1S40  to  1850 

.  23.9 

179 


This  is  all  independent  of  the  addition  by  the 
annual  European  immigration,  which  has  con- 
siderably increased. 

We  learn  from  this,  that,  since  the  beginning 
of  1790,  the  increase  of  population,  great  as  it  is, 
has  in  fact  fallen  off  in  each  of  these  successive 
periods. 

The  causes  for  this  decrease  have  been  sought 
for,  and  many  given  ■  amongst  them,  Mr.  Tucker 
has  brought  forward  prudence  and  pride,  which 
are  very  powerful,  proportional  to  the  great 
development  of  cities  and  the  wealthy  classes 
inhabiting  them.  These  causes  retard  or  pre- 
vent marriages,  and  affect  in  every  way  the  in- 
crease of  population. 


f 


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THE   FIRST  AMERICAN   EDITION 

OF 

DANTE'S    "VISION    OF    HELL 

IN    THE    ORIGINAL    ITALIAN. 


1'  INFERNO  DI  DANTE  ALIGHIERI. 

Testo  comunc  colic  variazioni  dci  codici  publicati 

DA    CARLO    WITTE. 

PRIMA    EDIZIONE    AMERICANA. 

COL   RITRATTO    DEL    DANTE    E   COLLE    SETTANTA   CINQUE 
ILLUSTRAZIONI   DI  GUSTAVO  DORE. 


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DR.    PARSONS'S    ENGLISH   VERSION 

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"INFER,  1STO," 

ILLUSTRATED    BY    GUSTAVE    DORE. 

A  limited  number  of  this  Illustrated  Edition  of  Dr.  Parsons's  excel- 
lent translation  is  now  ready. 

A  valuable  acquisition  for  every  American  Library. 

THE    INFERNO 

DANTE    ALIGHIERI. 

A   VERSION  INTO  ENGLISH  QUATRAIN, 

BY 

T.    W .    PARSONS, 

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LIST    OF   PUBLICATIONS. 


THE    DANTE     ALBUM 


SEVENTY-SIX    ILLUSTRATIONS 


GUSTAVE    DORE 


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ILDREWE'S    "LANGUAGE    OF    FLOWERS.' 


AN  ENTIRELY  NEW  BOOK,  NOT  A  REPRINT. 
ACCORDING  TO  THE  AMERICAN    FLORA. 

THE  LANGUAGE  OF  FLOWERS. 

EDITED    BY    MISS    ILDREWE. 

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ored Plates  and  numerous  Woodcuts,  after  Gustave 
DorE,  Daubigny,  Timms,  and  others. 


SECOND    EDITION. 

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text  full  of  elegance  and  delicacy. 

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A  New  Illustrated  Edition,  in  12MO. 

REYNARD  THE  FOX. 

A    BURLESQUE    POEM. 

FROM    THE 

LOW-GERMAN  ORIGINAL  OF  THE  FIFTEENTH  CENTURY. 

BY    H.    VON    SOLTAU. 

Illustrated  with  woodcuts,  from  designs  of  W.  v.  Kaulbach. 

SECOND  ILL  USTRA  TED  EDITION, 

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"  To  show  what  th'  adage  says  of  old, 
That  wit  is  better  far  than  gold." 

This  is  a  new  and  most  excellent  version  in  rhymed  verse,  and  13 
not  to  be  mistaken  for  any  other  English  or  American  edition  of  this 
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From  the  Press  {on  the  first  edition). 

This  book  richly  deserves  the  great  popularity  which  it  has  enjoyed  in 
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From  the  A  tlantic  Monthly. 

.  .  .  This  version  is  executed  with  much  spirit,  and  is,  to  say  the  least, 
easier  reading  than  Goethe's  hexameters. 

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